[WIP] Such Happy Campers (DEMO UPDATED May 12th, 4 chapters, 105.725 words)

I feel so… watched.

In a good way, I like camping mystery story. :grin:

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I thought so, I was trying to be funny (and failed haha). Anyway thank you sm!

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I shouldn’t have read this at 1 in the morning because I am properly scared :sob:. Given I’m not much of a fan of horror, but this WIP has my two biggest fears: darkness, and being outdoors during the dark. I just adore the writing because I can feel being in the story. And the campers! The adorable campers! The three spaghetti helpers are such a joy to read. I also do appreciate not being left out of potential romance because I didn’t “lock in” so early in the game. I love the way we can gradually get there.

Very amazing work! Definitely one of my favorites. Will keep a close eye on this one :>

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I love it :heart_eyes:

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I am so grateful for this comment! It means an extraordinate amount to me that I’ve managed to scare you (I mean this in the most normal way possible). And I am delighted that you like the campers as well! I hope you’re also enjoying the new one introduced in this update (just uploaded Chapter 4). Anyhow, thank you very much!

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Thanks for the update author. Please keep up the creepy scary scenes cause i love those so much :heart_eyes:. This story sha’ll be recognize by others soon.

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Horror? :eyes: Let’s see how happy these campers actually are. The answer will hopefully (eventually) be “not much”. On the other hand, I’ve met kids who would gleefully turn Nyarlathotep into the Crawling AWAY Chaos in three minutes flat, so, y’know.

Click here for stoffs (and the occasional thing)

Haha, Flo is hilarious.

“privileged”

Found the chaos gremlin!

Oh, you poor, sad fool.

Well, OBVIOUSLY. Everyone knows plants can’t spell. Except mandrakes.

I have picked the bathrooms (because I think I’m gonna go for Reem). I regret everything. Like, every decision of my life that led to me being a person that would pick to check out the bathrooms, I regret.

Cultists summoning eldritch abominations is now officially the LEAST of my worries.

lol


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Wow, it’s the Worst Parent Competition up in this Ferris. Everybody takes first place, they’re all losers.

Oooh, does this mean you’ve implemented the “RO makes the first move” thing you’ve talked above?

So, on a scale of 1 to 20, how big of a nerd am I if, halfway through this paragraph, I went, “oooooh, Titanoboa!” :smile:

“weight”

“nod”

Pointing out that it’s a bit weird when playing a male MC that you’re not initially included in George’s list, and then get rejiggered by the ensuing choice:

“sort”, I believe

So, NOT taking place in Alabama, then? :stuck_out_tongue:

This bit is from Scream 2! I’m on to you! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

looking like a true survivor, feeling lik- ahem. I mean, 20 bonus points for an Elton John reference.

Oh, yes, time to go alone to investigate the mysterious sound in the middle of the night, yessssss! Pump this shit straight into my veins!

“skirts”

You shut your goddamn mouth, man. Random assorted prehistoric monster facts are the fucking best!

This BETTER be Don McLean’s original, and not the truncated trash version Madonna butchered. glares

Nooooo, it endsssssss!!! D:

This is so creepy, I’m loving it! :hugs:

EDIT: My brain just threw up a cue card. IIRC, at one point you have “absolutions”, but you mean “ablutions”

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I really enjoyed this! The campers are delightful and the fellow counselors are great as well. Even though there are a lot of side characters, they all feel very distinct and I have a very clear picture of all of them in my head.

My favourite part is how peaceful and ordinary camp life seems to be - you almost forget about anything eerie happening at all. And then something else occurs and you get a bad feeling about the entire thing (in a good way!). It’s really well balanced!

Can’t wait for more, you’re doing an excellent job!

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I think you feedback will be more constructive if you add some examples. Where in the text did you feel that the given choices felt feminine. Or where in the text did the MC do something on their own that didn’t feel in character for a male? Giving some examples helps determine if the chosen instances could indeed be read as more femine. Although I must admit that I personally wouldn’t know how a woman internally feels and instinctively acts opposed to a man.

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