[WIP] Smoke & Velvet: The Gnawing Chronicles UPDATE 03/15/21

The detail in this is so gooooood! Looking forward to reading more!

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ooooh i really love this wip <3 I’m really excited to learn more

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Wow your art is amazing :star_struck: teach me your ways :bowing_woman:t5:. Also that smirk makes me want to boop the nose.

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thank you!! ABSOLUTELY go ahead and boop his nose

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I don’t think my just editing the top post will let people know there’s an update if they’re watching the post, so, hey, there’s an update! Check the changelog to see what’s up!
I will also be planning to keep to my schedule of updating on the 19th of every month.

Otherwise, I got hit with tendinitis about a week ago and so haven’t been able to write/edit as much as I’d like but have doubled the word count since the last update so I’m happy! :slight_smile:

As usual, I hope y’all enjoy and let me know what you think!

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Fantastic all around! I certainly like the feel of all the personalities as well as the appearance aspects. Incredibly fluffy, yet angery hellhound is definitely the way to go. So far I really dig all the other characters too, I can hardly bring myself to be mean to them. Anyway I super excited for whatever comes next, stay Coo!

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Ooh, I find myself really liking what’s developing here. Isla and Fatima are probably my favorite characters so far, but Nico and Dana are certainly intriguing as well. I also thought the update ended on a pretty satisfying note, too - doesn’t feel unfinished, but leaves me wanting more.

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cool that we get a lot of choices for past relationships, but an option for not having either kind of relationship in the past but willing to have one now would be nice

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Oh I absolutely love this so far. I’m so interested in this story and I’m excited to see where you go with this.

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@Pigeon Fluffy angery hellhound is definitely the way to go!! And good! I’m glad it’s difficult to be mean to them, means I’m writing them as intended! That being said, I’m really excited to write in strong emotional moments that can definitely include being mean, angry, and all around frustrated with certain characters.

@QuixquillianParadise I’m glad you’re liking everyone so far! Isla and Fatima are incredibly fun to write whereas Nico and Dana are certainly more restrained characters.

@snas Oh, good point! I’ll put that option in for sure :smiley:

@Leafkisser lol I’m excited too! I have plans but I’m also a fan of writing in spur of the moment ideas–we’ll see which ones get me in trouble :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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That’s what I was thinking too

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I must say, I love this weird ragtag team, they all have a very distinctive voice and watching them interact is a delight. Also, Nico with a moustache? Sold. I didn’t know I needed that in my life.

Some other things:

Nitpick

This exchange seems a little bit too… Brusque? I think you need a sentence in between for better fluidity.

Error

When you choose your eye colour, this appears after instead of before.

Typos

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Am I the only Basilisk who wants to leave the agency when my probation is up and become a tailor for the destitute creatures all over who have to butcher store bought clothes that weren’t made with their consideration… No?

I don’t know the line about my character getting pretty good at fixing their own clothes got me thinking.

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Can I just say, that your humor is sooooo gooooood! And the writing’s excellent as well​:grin::clap:

@Redway_bull Don’t worry, I’m here with ya too😂 I could see that happening if our MC’s a good little angel

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@SourPeaches Thank you so much for all the nitpick OTL. Looks like a lot of them are pronoun tag issues and a code swap on the porcelain eye color, easy fixes.

I saw that brusque issue earlier too but was too lazy to fix it at the time :'D it’s bc of a lot of if statements are going on in that sequence so I’ll need to polish it up so they all line up nicely. Thank you!!

@Redway_bull Ooooh I love that image :heart: Out of all of them I’d definitely say the basilisk is the most seamster savvy. Name the tailor shop something like ‘Extra Pair of Hands Tailoring’ or something :smiley:

@moonfungus Thank you! Honestly humor is so hard to write because?? You’re writing it? So you just have no idea if it’s actually funny? I just write the characters and hope it sounds good :'D

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Just one last quick thing (because I’m on a roll, it seems, and also really annoying).

Summary

You can’t set this variable to “apologetic” because in the startup it’s only a true/false one. To make this work, you could either create a separate one, or just replace it with: *create danny_rude “false”

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Not annoying at all! Bc you’re totally right! True/False was the original plan then I changed it halfway through writing so yep that’s definitely not gonna fly. I’ll change that up in the startup.

You don’t ever have to apologize/whatever for finding all my unchecked issues I really appreciate any help I get! I’m the only one betaing this thing before I put it up so of course I’m gonna miss so much. So I’m really happy to hear about anything anyone finds that’s gone awry :smiley:

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Interesting concept. Getting some “The league of extraordinary gentleman” vibes mixed with a little of cthulhu horror. Keep it up! Anxious to see more of this!

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While I was reading through the story (as a basilisk) it made me wonder. Do we look like anthropomorphic creatures or something else? Also, which of the current species (we can be select) is the most dangerous?

for the dangerous bit, I assume basilisk just for the ability of being able to turn a creature to stone if we didn’t have the film stuff over there eyes

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