[WIP] Smoke & Velvet: The Gnawing Chronicles UPDATE 01/15/21

[Roast]

@DecryptedDev Thank you!! I was actually considering a few additional features for the basilisk. Additional eyes were in the original concept but anatomically speaking I couldn’t make them fit without drastically changing the skull structure–but I might reconsider, maybe making the additional set smaller and just below the eyes at the corners?? Your cheekbones would be more fragile I would think but it could work

I’m also considering allowing the players to choose if they have a tail or not (same going for hellhounds)

[Pigeon]

Yes! Tails! You’ve got my vote. And Pigeons only typically vote for bread.

[WhiteWolf]

Maybe have the additional eyes be an optional feature. Like some Basilisk have them some don’t maybe.
(Basilisk is my favorite so far but imagining having 4 eyes seems a little too freaky to me lol)

Either way I would also like to say I really enjoyed this so far and it was neat to see something different with monstrous non standard supernatural / fantasy races.

[Eiwynn]

@Roast –

I think going with a solid archtype for each species to begin with would be best; the customization can be added easily later, once your core story is there.

The little customization things are nice but from a writing and scripting perspective, the more you have, the bigger the game making becomes.

I enjoyed the porcelain doll route – keep up the good work on the creepy-cool inner dialogue the MC has with themselves.

[SourPeaches]

Played through all of it, and I can already say that you could have something really special here! Particularly, it’s pretty refreshing to see that our choice of species has more than just a cosmetic effect.

A couple of things, tho.

Typos

Should be ‘my’ I believe.

You can’t have more than 1 of ‘bodyneg’ at this point in the chapter, should be (bodyneg ≥ 1)

Some blabbering

So I took a, uh, peek at the code, and I’d like to say that you don’t really need that many variables to write the (she is/they are) and (she does/they do) stuff. You can just set a variable to check whether the NPC/MC uses nb pronouns or not and then use multireplace.

Let’s say Danny is nb.

*set danny_them true

$!{danny_xhe} @{danny_them sot|spots} you at the vanity and immediately @{nico_them turn|turns}…

It’ll read spot/turn if the variable is true and spots/turns otherwise. It’s a lifesaver once you’ve got the gist of it, but it’s up to you if you feel comfortable using it or not.

[aquos]

The porcelain doll reminds me of houseki no kuni

[Roast]

@SourPeaches Thanks for pointing out those typos! And I totally see what you’re saying about the variables, I hadn’t even thought to use multireplace. I’ll give it a shot and see what works for me, thanks!

@aquos Neat! Never heard of that but that’s cool! No idea is original huh?

[ChibiKittens]

Can’t seem to get past the first chapter (loading issue) but I love what I’ve read thus far! Our MC has an interesting set up. They broke the law in some way we don’t yet have info on, have been separated from their family, and are forced to take pills that conceal their more dangerous abilities (I’ve chosen the hellhound option).
And Danny is sympathetic, and works to serve us or keep in touch with us, is what I’ve read? I wonder how they got their prosthetic arm, and why they’ve got the job that they do.
I’m curious to see how the general population treats monsters, I can’t imagine it is all too friendly, but here’s hoping there’s a character out there that will by friendly with us (as I’m a sucker for those).
I’ll be keeping an eye on this!

[Carson_Lindsey]

I looked at the source code and right now that is where the demo ends.

[Roast]

@ChibiKittens You’ll have to unlock more friendship with Danny to learn all their secrets ;D and you’ll learn more about the world and monster relations in the next update!

Yeah I totally see why that might be confusing to just cut off right there–I’ll probably put in a ‘thanks for playing’ page at demo’s end in the future. Tbh I’d just spent like a week on just the character customization so I got impatient and wanted to put something up, hence the abrupt ending.

But I’m glad you enjoyed what I’ve got so far!

[ChibiKittens]

Oh ok, I thought it was one of those website glitches that pop up now and again, glad to know I’m not missing anything!
And I will earn, ALL the friendship!! Danny is cute lol ^^

[fadingecho]

This game seems v interesting so far! I love the creatures we can be, and their individual backstories - def gonna go through all three of them, but so far basilisk might be my favorite based on the design and bg… But the hellhound and the living doll are so great too. Did I already gush about how much I love these creatures?

I also really love all the other customization choices, especially for the living doll. They’re practically living artwork at this point lmao

I don’t usually like stories in early 1900s, but any misgivings I had disappeared as soon as I started reading. The beginning started in a really interesting and fun place, which left me with a lot of questions (in all the best ways), and a lot of guesses as to what happened

Anyway, sorry for the long review; I’m excited to see what will happen, and to meet the rest of the crew. Thanks for the great demo!

[Roast]

@fadingecho No need to apologize! I love long reviews!
I’m really glad you’re liking it so far, and I’ll admit that basilisk is one of my favorites too as it’s a species I’ve wanted to play with for years now.

And I’m totally with you on the 1900’s thing even if I do love the aesthetic of the era. That era is also kind of saturating the story market rn and yet here I am!

Tbh that’s where the ‘Smoke & Velvet’ comes from. I knew from the beginning that that’s the aesthetic I wanted to go for, indulgent 1920’s materials but also the industry of coal and steam. But that’s where the similarities between this world’s early 1900’s and our world’s 1900’s end.

[SmolButton]

Love it so far! I very much look forward to future chapters. Great work!

[SourPeaches]

Typo

Little error when playing as a hellhound

I think it should decrease deceptive instead. Also, the nico_rvl stat increases when you take the medicine and decreases when you don’t, as opposed to the other two species.

[Mei_Hiroshi]

Great demo! Looking forward to meeting new characters. It’s very interesting so far

[Roast]

@SourPeaches Whoops! That’ll be fixed for hellhounds in the next update. I’m trying not to just throw constantly updated files up there all the time and to stick to a schedule.
But thanks for pointing that out! Probably a copy pasta oversight.

As for the ‘loc’ that’s a word I’m not familiar with using. By my understanding you can use either loc or lock for that style of natural Black hair. I might change it later, might leave it as is?? This is the article I used if anyone is interested.

[Dragongodess]

What makes this/will make this game in the horror genre?

Also thanks for doing a non human protagonist!

[Roast]

@Dragongodess Thanks! I’ve been wanting to do a monster MC for ages now and finally found the story hook I wanted to go for.

This story falls under ‘cosmic horror’ so lovecraftian-esque (even though he was a dirt human being). I’ve taken a lot of inspiration from the board games ‘Mansions of Madness’ and ‘Arkham Horror’, both of which I’d recommend if you’re a board game type of person

[Dragongodess]

@Roast

Arkham Horror’

As in Batman Arkham?!

Also Monster-human history seems to be human biased. Well it’s a given that humans are probably in charge of the government and such is run for humans too. Can we change that, and let monsters run the government? And considering that this is a cosmic horror… befriended the C.H and sic it on the rasicst humans? Or make pease