[WIP] Of Royal Birth and Forlorn Fate [Hiatus~]

That’s…a LOT of potential ROs. Variety is good, but this is going to be a ton of content to write and code.

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This is my opinion on the RO, so there’s no need to disagree aggressively. I will list the male RO and male gender selectable RO because that is the gender I most attracted to.

At first I was interested with the prince, but as they become gender selectable RO, I’m less intrigued but I’ll try to romance them if the other RO are just a hassle to romance.

Hmm…this one is tough. Will he ever notice the MC or the romance will be one sided? If he interested in MC will the romance slower than a snail or will it be like responding to the wall?:weary:

Hm…undecided for now. Does his intention for the good of both sides? Or only for his?:thinking:

Instant turn off not because of childhood friends/rival/enemies to lovers but the unnecessary angst/conflict added that can be solved by talking/apologizing. The masochist MC/reader may be perfect for them.:laughing:

And with the others on spoiler territory? I have no words. :person_shrugging:

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I’m gonna agree with this. This is… a lot. But I suppose it depends on the amount of words total you’re aiming for, @SpokesWriter . If you’re gonna expand each RO, the book will be big, that’s for sure. I’m also not sure if it’s gonna be standalone or a series

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I’d like to say “I know” but… you’re right, lol. Maybe I don’t know! I’m planning for this to be about four times the length of my last project, which had 6 ROs. I appreciate the reality check though, and I’d much rather put out something smaller than i hoped than something bad. So i’ll keep the finish line in mind as I write and edit accordingly :slight_smile:

It’s going to be an entirely self-contained story with the potential for a sequel if people would like to see it, but no cliffhangers or anything.

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I found this to be an interesting read, even though it felt like your creative energy started to peter out around chapter 3. You have nice writing style, so becareful about pressuring yourself to compete sections on deadline. Deadlines are a double-edged sword in creative writing. :slight_smile: sure you finish on time but it may come at the expense of quality.

There was one area that bugged me a little. It felt like you were ‘telling’ rather than ‘showing’ in places. The curse, for example, I could not understand. I had to re-read to realise it was not just about a twin birth (curse in some cultures) but because of hinted occurences/soothsayers prophecies around the time. This may need fleshing out abit so we can understand why the populace believes its a curse. Descriptions of the family members also threw me abit too; as you describe the queen as clever and wise but I don’t see any reason to draw that conclusion (unless that deliberate and you just want to underscore how blindly the servants/staff follow the monarchy for monarchies sake).
I know a lot of Authors try to avoid excesses information to avoid the dreaded info-dump, but there is a difference between illustrating the story and unesscessary information. It can even be done without spiolers ( harder but everything is a balance with writing).

Well friend, I’m going to be honest, you should probably reduce this list by half for your own sake :rofl:
Are all of them playersexual?

Time for RO review:

Prince/Princess seems like an obvious choice and it’s nice that they have so much in common with MC. Seems like a good arc to develop.

Both of these seem like similar stories with different dynamics: a prince/princess falls in love with a peasant/trader and it should touch on the inequality of these relationships.

Not enough info to say whether they are exciting or not, all I’m getting for this is that their personality is: quiet, likes to be a farmer and is stubborn and they’ll be going somewhere we can tag along?

These two seem similar as well, they are both RO’s and dilf/milf centered human vs werewolf conflict.
They are both interesting but I don’t know how central they will be to the plot yet.

Oh a childhood friend turned rival? A classic, and it’ll find many fans.

This one is exactly like Marcel. Are you sure you need three (or more) self made artisan romances? I think this one should be left in the cutting room with Marcel and Melinda. There are more interesting people to expand on and Rachel/Roman could be the designated class struggle romance.

Spoiler RO’s

This one seems very interesting and almost guaranteed to be popular depending on the execution and his personality.

Another almost obvious fan favourite.

So they are married? Will this be a poly romance?

That should probably be either NB or gender-selectable romance :stuck_out_tongue: Inspo from DAO’s Lady of the Forest? Probably another popular one, a lot of people liked her

Alright so, the ones I’d suggest to remove: Melinda, Marcel, Moryen, Dexter (maybe, depends on their role in the story?)

Werewolves, spirits, the prince/princess and the childhood friend, as well as the dilf/milf are already a handful and will probably be more popular than seemingly random people who don’t seem involved in future werewolf crisis or the royalty.
The most important thing for the player is to spend enough time with their chosen RO. Variety is great but depth is better.
In fact feel free to give some of the supernatural RO’s a cut too.

But that’s just my opinion :wink:

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Decided to play this game because I love forced marriage, good luck with this book, hope it all went well!

I also intrigued to meeting the princess later in the book

Deryth sounds tempting :eyes:

I have that RO set as Princess Jessica, would need to edit the code/gender there for that selection/choice (2nd paragraph, last sentence)

I searched “princess” here to see if anyone had pointed it out but didn’t see it. All i saw was drama about it all/genders :joy:

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To be honest this forced marriage could be good or bad since the ro has similar issues to mc. Sure some would say that’s a good thing but not always.

Thank you! Every word of this is excellent advice—especially about ch 3 feeling kind of uninspired. It’s going to be a minute before the next update, im going to make some edits and pare down the RO list. Really appreciating all the feedback and I’m excited to come back with a new chapter when ready :slight_smile:

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Personally I would focus on the first couple chapters a bit more, there aren’t many defining sections and makes it feel less important. Fleshing out the customs and relationships will help people understand, it seems like once we move we will not gather any information about our siblings or our native kingdom. Unless that is the intention then ignore this comment.

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I’d personally be most interested in Sara, if you’re comfortable writing a love interest who’s as old as the MC’s mother.

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I agree Sara feels like a great narrative risk but if executed well it could be truly beautiful,age difference romance is one of those things that keeps gaining fans and not without reason.

Also adding stuff like side flings even when you are deep on a RO’s route,perphaps exploring a MC that struggles to be faithful(to keep) to one love interest and ends up cheating on them,that could be a good option to explore their lingering regret there and their overall psyque (perphaps realising damn I am a polyamorous person).

Personally, i’m interested in Princess Jessica, mostly so we might be able to possibly plot for taking our birthright. While the protagonist might not be good at things like swordsmanship or charisma, that doesn’t mean he won’t be good in other things, innit?

For all we know, he might be a good administrator, for example.

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True. We can do things differently through diplomacy and politics. That should get some people on our side to eventually achieve our goal. The twins are going to be bad rulers so we might as well replace them with someone who knows what they are doing. The twins are supposed to be some bad omen for the kingdom so we are doing everyone a favor

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I don’t really care about how they’ll be as much as the fact that it seems like it has some real potential for the protagonist’s fortune. If jessica and the third heir were able to take their respective kingdoms, you could have an castille-aragon tier union.

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It’s quite hard for me to make up my mind about the different ROs based on your descriptions, because at least for most of them you don’t say much about a lot of aspects that each often plays an important part in how attractive they are to me and, I suspect, also to many others. You write a lot about their attitudes, background and role in the story, but not much about their personality and looks and don’t give many indications about what I would call their “flirting style” either(like them being bold or shy, confrontational or nice/diplomatic). And if you plan on locking some of them to MCs of a particular gender, that is important too, because it means that they in practice won’t be an option to those who wants to play MC who have the same gender and sexual/romantic orientation as they have. So I think it would be better if you also included that other information about them in your RO writeup in this thread or you could give us a chance to meet at least the majority of them in the next chapter, so that we then can give you feedback on which ones we really like and which ones we don’t find that interesting.

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How big of a power Crotor is? Like is it big? More powerful than mc’s kingdom? or less? Are they someone who could rival in strength with our kingdom? (maybe powerful ally in mc’s ambitions to overthrow their parents :eyes:) or this marriage was only to have some royal wedding and give people fake peace? And where Crotor’s strengst lie? I.e. military or resources?

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I agree that lore info dumps must be given about Crotor as it is pretty crucial for the storyline,even knowing past rulers,founders,religion all that sort of important stuff.

Would also be cool to get a political map at some point to just visualise better the Kingdoms/places introduced,if it makes that many mentions to places as Sword of Rhivenia would really come in handy.

Plus would mean more worldbuilding tools that would help the game be more engaging to the players,feel the world closer/understand it on a sense.

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If I recall correctly the little we get to see in game is that it’s similar to our MCs home kingdom and T least seams to have sufficient ability to be a ally worth marrying the mc to it’s heir.