[WiP] Not Your Mother's Shire (c11: The Once and Future Kink)

I just might be though :smiling_imp:

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:joy: :joy: :joy: you just made my afternoon 100times better lmao; can’t wait for the next chapter/s

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Please enjoy Chapter 6: Face-Spit Savior?. (If, after playing, you think of a better name for the chapter, let me know.) I was supposed to edit today; instead, I wrote 5k more words. So, a lot of the prose is subpar, unclear, etcetera. I’ll work that out over the next couple of days, but I wanted to post so we can get people trying to break the code.

There are intimate opportunities with Saz, Vera, and Zale. If you have comments about those, please DM me. If I see that many people want to discuss them, I will create an ADULT THREAD. Definitely looking for feedback on those.

We’re just shy of 120k words. For reference, “The Hobbit” is 90k words. Thanks for coming all this way!

Who is your favorite Romance Option?
  • Llorick, possessed elf scholar and warlock. Avatar or Yang.
  • Trudy, halfling treasure hunter. Avatar of Yolo.
  • Saz, half-orc First Ranger of the Dragonsworn.
  • Octo, human warrior and Commander of the 4th Dragonsworn Legion.
  • Vera, dwarf monk slash wandering hippie who smokes weed and watches kung fu of the Dragonfall.
  • Zale, human sorceress and Title-Hater of the Dragonfall.

0 voters

Did you/will you travel through the jungle with Saz or Vera?
  • Saz.
  • Vera.

0 voters

Did you accept Zale’s . . . ahem, bet?
  • Yes.
  • No.
  • I’d rather not say, but yes.

0 voters

App store icon: Yea or Nay?
  • Yay!
  • Yea?
  • Nay.
  • Nay!

0 voters

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The people have spoken. I will write Ch7a: To Eat or Not to Eat? (Jungle w/Bunkisi and Llorick), Ch7c: Chalice in Plunderland (Coastal w/Splosh and Phill), and then Ch7b which I haven’t decided on a name for yet (Blizzard w/Brr-Brr-a and Trudy). Closing that poll. Since 8a and 8b will also be interchangeable, I’ll post another poll as we get closer.

Since the app icon feedback is mixed, I’ll mock up something else. Since all ROs will eventually be gender-swappable, would people like to see male and female artwork of each person included? Or, do you prefer to imagine their appearances yourself?

Would RO artwork (male and female versions of each) enhance or detract from your experience?
  • Mega enhance: I can only love what I can see.
  • Super detract–if they don’t look how I imagine, I can’t be attracted.
  • Enhance–A concrete visual image helps me form attachment.
  • Detract: I want to participate too, please.

0 voters

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I have a bunch of missing hw that totally does not need doing so I replayed this game

here’s a typo:


compliment- means to flatter someone with nice words/acts (“wow, you look great!”)
complement- how do two (or more) things match? ("the soft yellow really complements the vibrant red ")


coincidence or intended?

typo

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Nice catches! Changed one “mauve” to “cerulean” and dropped an “s” from “says.s.” I compliment the way your critical eye complements my manic forward scurry! Thanks for playing the game again! I haven’t even played it yet. I was feeling a bit down because the Mage Reborn thread started after mine and has so many more likes, views, and comments. Comedy is so subjective and doesn’t translate well for people who don’t speak English as a first language. I think I may have super dwindled my base audience via my design decision. E.g. it helps you like it if you can tell “compliment” from “complement.” I’m having fun, anyway! @Mistyleaf123

Small update:
-I did a dogged edit of ch6 (which still needs a different title)–35k words. Bleh. I was all like, who the heck is this writer, and why does he use so many words?

-I’ve plotted and begun 7a (barely, but it shouldn’t be as long, and the structure is what takes me longest).

-I went back and changed the code so that I’m now pre-coding forward chapters for gender swap-ability. So we’re 100% on that now. Saz and Zale will keep their same names regardless of gender. Vera/Vero, Trudy/Rudi?, Llorick/?, and Octo/? for the others based on gender, so far.

-Based on polls, I’m thinking up a different icon and am leaning heavily toward male-female art for each RO NPC. So, if anyone is strongly for or opposed, now is the time to change/influence my mind.

Back to writing. Ch7a features an NPC named Vexius in honor of @Vexius_Krexius support. @Mistyleaf123 if you want to design/name someone more than the spellcheck vendor in ch4, get w me via DM. I have a few upcoming characters whose names/backstories aren’t fully fleshed out. Cheers everyone! Thanks for sticking with me. Go team.

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Don’t be! just because someone else is better, stronger, etc. than you, doesn’t mean that you should give up- just that you should do better and try harder.

I like this- mostly because there aren’t many games that can make me laugh so hard and also because Yester (and Llorick) is best boi :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Edit: after replaying this game so many time; I just realized Yester is from New York :sweat_smile:

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Anyone want a Dragonfall spy executed by Bunkisi named after them?

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i believe there is supposed to be a break here

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Nope! It’s confusing because Lorne is non-binary. The singular “they” can get confused with the plural “they.” In that paragraph, Lorne is the one pointing the blade and then the one speaking, so I think the lines should stay together.

HOWEVER, that second word should be “move,” not “moves.” So, nice catch! Originally, Lorne was a she, so some of the verbs are off. Nice catch too re: Yester being from NY. I didn’t know if anyone would get that from, “even Old York must be magnificent.”

Maybe we should name the dead spy Mad Adam? Do you think he would mind? @Mistyleaf123 @MadAdam

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why did I laugh so hard, I do not know. But- that is an interesting name, and I’d say go for it!

also:
can there be a more…subtle weapon choice? like daggers? i want a stabby but small weapon lol

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I would be honored to share my name and handle with a dead spy😂, and I firmly believe you can never go wrong with a palindrome.

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This is fantastic! I’ve enjoyed the demo immensely. Your style of writing works so well with this genre and it’s something I don’t see all that often in regards to dialogue. It was refreshing and fun, your play on words and overall humour make for a great read and the world you’ve built and characters you’ve created are engaging and exciting. I especially found the MC and horse (Phill Two for my MC) dynamic, or lack thereof, funny af. The scene by the stream being a favourite of mine.

Can’t wait to see how the story unfolds and how much of a dodo bird my MC can be. Thank you!

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For you? Definitely! I’d only included weapons there that would suit a legionaire’s training rack. Like how in Ch.1 the only options were what Phill could find around the farm. Not wanting to spoil anything, you will get a chance to change your weapons and clothing in the future. In Ch.7a, you can trade your accessory for a a single earring made from the feather of a miracle bird (may be magic; may be hoax). I’ll keep something stab-y and small in mind for you @Mistyleaf123 I certainly have to work in a blowgun for myself. Maybe I’ll make it the ultimate weapon? “Armageddon kazoo?” :dagger: :tada: :high_heel:

Alright! I was thinking of freezing your body and then shattering it with a war maul? Re: palindrome, there’s a great bit in “Community” where Chang thinks the word is “palomino” and that “Arizona” is a palindrome. @MadAdam :cold_face: :skull_and_crossbones: :broken_heart:

I’m so glad. And thanks so much for your kind words! Writers work in an echo chamber of insecurity. So, I can write for a month on just a little encouragement. I promise to keep your dodo-preferences in the forefront of my mind as I move forward. I could never tell if anyone thought the horse scenes were funny, so I’ve been dialing them back, actually. Originally, I’d planned for it to be a roll check to convince yourself you were not in an abusive relationship with your horse. Got dark, so I pulled up. Anyway, thank you, thank you, thanks again! :horse: :pray: :racehorse:

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Haha, thanks! And I loved the line where the MC is like, “Wow. Love.” about the horse, it cracked me up. I also see you watch Community, what taste! You’re streets ahead, for sure.

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Here’s the first fan art for the game…I believe!

I’ve been terribly busy with work so I apologize, @dwsnee for my disappearance in recent weeks…I assure you I haven’t been ghosting the project. I’ve just been forced to choose to bide my time. Hope everything is well!

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That is some gorgeous art right there :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Fantastic job!

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Update: Almost there w/Ch7a. Put in a good 4.2k wds today. Sitting at 23,826wds. I estimate 2-3 solid days on content. And then 1 day of editing, if you want to see a better draft more slowly. Should end up around 30k words.

Sneak Peak: Ch7a

You travel with Saz and Vera through a short stint of Jungle before arriving in Mistgarden, capital of the jungle duchy, where everyone lives in house-shrooms that subsist on mist and their tenants lavatorial . . . deposits. The caps which form the roofs come only in animal patterns! P.S. Bunkisi runs his logistics with specially bred pygmy elephants. :elephant: :elephant: :elephant:

You interrupt Bunkisi’s court where you meet his road dogs Sulekh (the boy from Ch1, now grown–what did you tell him to do?) and Vexius (a snow elf Waylon helped design). You witness the execution of a Dragonfall spy named Mad Adam and reunite with Llorick. Bunkisi offers you a question, a riddle, or a proposition. :frog: :snowman: :boy:

From there, the chapter has three prongs.

  1. You meet Vexius with Llorick, who needs assistance exorcising the spirit of his dead wife. To get his assistance, you will have to chaperone a date between Vexius and the Marquess in Llorick’s body. How intimate will you let them get to secure his cooperation? :heart_eyes:

  2. Vera discovers a hidden undelivered letter in Mad Adam’s house. You must decide whether to turn it over or deliver it to its intended recipient: a nascent rebel tree god who is an animate rudebega. :eggplant:

  3. Saz must have an epic battle with a terrorizing land eel to pay the life debt created when Octo refused your execution. Fortunately, he can take you and Sulekh with him. Boss fight, anyone? :crossed_swords:

Based on your decisions, the final event in the Jungle Duchy might see allegiances change, (un)important deaths, and incest! Coming soon to a screen near you. :clown_face: :poop:

Slow chapter bc I did a bunch of beta testing for Night Road when I should have been writing. Next one should be faster. :pouting_cat:

@jamelikename Beware the darkest timeline! :game_die:
@Vexius_Krexius Welcome back. I think you’ll dig what I did w/Vexius. You have to keep a lot under the surface so you don’t expo dump, but I wove him deeper into the story than I originally intended. :open_book:
@Jackpot1776 I’m pretty sure you’re next to name something? Want to name my nascent plant-god who is an animate rutabaga? If so, you have 3 days. Send me 3 choices and I’ll pick my favorite one. :timer_clock:

Cheers! -D

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Need big help as I have no objectivity in this issue. Truth before feelings, please. I worry that I can’t capture the complexity of the character I’ve created in this digital style of art? I wonder, too, if a reader can be romantically attracted to characters depicted in this way?


Can you be romantically attracted to characters depicted in this art style?
  • Yes.
  • No.
  • Maybe, but not these ones.
  • I love them. Shut up already.

0 voters

Do these depictions capture Zale as you imagined him/her when reading?
  • A lot, actually.
  • Medium nope.
  • Some but not all.
  • Not even a little.

0 voters

Is it a worthy endeavor to continue this process for other ROs?
  • Yes, absolutely.
  • Let me save you some heart ache: spend your time writing.
  • Going to go with a hard maybe on that.
  • I don’t know, bro. Don’t ask me.

0 voters

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