[WiP] Not Your Mother's Shire (c9: Enter the Fhtagn)

Who gave you the right to be this funny? I’m one page in and already crying.


Nature, in an act of balance and mercy–it was never going to be looks or money that let me survive.

Thank you for saying so! I’m so glad you like it. You’re bound to have good fortune any day you can make a random internet Sami weep with laughter. :slightly_smiling_face: @Ups111


Meet Brr-Brr-A, the ruling dragon of the Blizzard Duchy native to the snow elves. She is more or less a giant python with the head of a triceratops.

Update: I’m two to three days from polishing off Chapter 5: Resistance is Feudal. Stay tuned for some twists and two more romantic options (ROs).


  1. I’m thinking of changing the way I track wounds to a 0-5 scale–at 6, you die. Right now, I’m using a percentage.
  2. I’m thinking of recoding things so that all 6 ROs are gender-swappable. Does this make a major difference in how much you enjoy a game?
  3. Do you want more to be made of player fashion? For it to be treated like an ever-changing power?
How should I track health and damage?
  • Percentage–it’s more nuanced.
  • Scale–it’s simple, so the player can focus on other things.
  • Other. Please list in comments.

0 voters

Should I code ROs as gender swappable?
  • Yes, having the most romantic options possible is very important to how much I enjoy and replay a game.
  • Yes, but only so there’s no chance I’ll get locked out of the one person I might vibe with.
  • No, making gender mutable makes character identity hazy for me.
  • No, it’s a nice feature, but it’s not worth the time it takes to code for how much it adds to my enjoyment.
  • Other. Please explain in comments.

0 voters

Do you want your fashion to be trackable in stats?
  • Yes. I will enjoy seeing my choices again later. Two laughs are better than one.
  • Yes, it will help me remember that people are treating me differently based on my clothes. And track changes between climates.
  • No, I like stat screens clean and simple.
  • No, it’s fun to chose but not an important part of gameplay to me.
  • Other. Please explain in comments.

0 voters

Thanks, all, for your patience and support! -DW


You absolutely did not have to do that! Well, I cannot wait to see it! I’m sure it’ll be quite electrifying!

I hope we’ll get to mimic sorcerers a good amount. Destructive magic is just too fun, and Yin seems to be a great source of that, and I also can’t wait to see what you come up with yourself!

You express your surprise with Trudy’s appetite. Many women, you say, play down their hunger. You think they must hide baked-good caches in bookshelves and such, nibbling on them in secret. While secret nibbling sounds nice, she says, she isn’t going to trip all over herself just to make a good impression. When you assure her she hasn’t made one with you, she flings a meatball at your face with a fork. You don’t know whether you thought maybe it would be funny or sexy to catch it in your mouth, but your choking achieves neither effect.

Just replayed the demo recently and this scene gets me every time. :joy: What fantastic structure and timing you can have. Trudy is wild fun so far, too.

Question time!

I’ve actually been wondering this. Rereading your description, it sounds as if the game is planning to be pretty content heavy. I understand your focus is on the story right now, but do you have any plans for how long this game will be or are you kind of going with its flow?

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Thanks so much for reading! I like Trudy too. I think, in a lot of ways, I’d like to be more like her. I’m still introducing the characters–trying to do it one at a time, so you get a chance to get a feel for each one. But, when they all finally come together, I think there’s going to some really great interactions. No one’s going to get along. P.S. I need to edit that passage you posted! It will make it better. I always struggle with whether to make more content or to improve existing content. I’m thinking I need a brush up after Chapter 6.

I’ve diagramed out 20 chapters. That’s misleading because there are four endings (two share the same last chapter, but it splits.) So, a playthrough will be 18 chapters. I plan to publish Chapter 5 this weekend (fingers crossed) so we’ll be 25% of the way there.

HOWEVER, I’ve plotted 5 mid chapters, e.g. Ch.13.5. They’re completely optional and not essential to the plot. Basically, there is one “vacation” day in each zone (Desert, Blizzard, Jungle, Swamp, and Coastal) where you’ll get to do day activities with 3 of the 6 main NPCs. So, say, on beach day: Llorick goes to a piracy museum; Trudy buys a bogus treasure map; Saz goes fishing; Vera goes surfing; and Zale does drunken tanning. (You’ll meet all 6 by Chapter 6.) The time you spend with them will effect your relationship meter but not the plot. That’s why you’re free to play them or skip to the next plot chapter. So, if someone plays all “vacation days,” a playthrough will be 23 chapters. Sometimes, I talk a lot but don’t say what I’m supposed to. Did I answer your question? @Waylon_Royce


Yes! You seem to have it pretty structured! As a writer myself, I know how much that can help. I hope it all goes according to your plans!

Everything in your current structure sounds very fun and promising!

Now, to finally offer something other than praise (albeit deserved and true!):

One critisism I do have is the lack of more “exotic” races to play as. While I think everyone would agree your focus is most important on the story and humor, as that is the type of game this is foundated on, I do believe eventually even just one added would help the issue.

My logic on this is the fact that everything else in the game is so charmingly unique, from the story’s featured dragon rulers to the fact that in place of classes are not one but two completely different power sets you choose for your character. And that’s just two examples. The side characters themselves are so diverse in abilities and personalities as well, but it doesn’t effect this, for me.

From half-devils to dragonborn, there are tons of “exotic” races that could fit in right at home in this world. Snow elves are mentioned, but as far as customization acknowledges, we can only be standard ones, just with a choice of natural skin tone.

Now, none of this is to say the game’s customization is restrictive, it’s quite the contrary and actually definitely above average in my opinion, but that’s just a thought I have.

Please do not mistake this for a request. But one idea for an inclusion that I think would fit best if you were to do this, is a type of elemental just like Yester Morrow, only obviously a more primal, less powerful version like a Fire Elemental, Water, or Earth, even. The Genasi from Dungeons and Dragons 5e are the perfect reference for this.

That is all! Just some more feedback before the next chapter(s).


This is really good consideration and one I could work in. Mechanically, it would require very little. Your suggestions remind me of the Godlike, Orlan, and Aumana in “Pillars of Eternity.” If enough people are interested we could brainstorm at the end and do a poll. I’m afraid if I go back now I’ll never finish. If I go with gender-swappable ROs, I’m thinking I’ll code that in during final edit. It will add maybe a week to that end process, but for me, creatively, it’s better than slowing me down before I finish. Right now, Yester is either a man or a woman depending on your sexual orientation choices in the first chapter with the elf woman. Because of the way I have to write double descriptions and code out pronouns, his/her sections easily take me twice as long to write. In fact, he/she has 3 appearances in Chapter 5, and that’s a big reason why I’m delayed.

Thanks for the great feedback! Keep it coming. We’re well on our way. @Waylon_Royce You have earned yourself an NPC appearance. Let me know how you want me to work you in. “Royce” sounds like a good name for an undercity rogue in the Coastal Duchy. Halfling with an eye-patch he switches between eyes?


Oh, I completely understand! I find coding in general a nightmare. It’s actually one of the only reasons I haven’t attempted a CoG myself. Although it will always be a dream of mine. This company’s games and fantastic writers have become a part of my life, in a way. But coding has always remained the number one detterent to that. I just find it so tedious and frustrating.

Oh, you’re most welcome! I wouldn’t have wanted to do so much if I didn’t it your game so much!

Oh, wow! This took me aback! :joy: I don’t know what to say! That would be amazing, thank you! I’ll DM you on this. I actually do have a character idea I envisioned when first playing this game and think it fits well. Yours is definitely fun, but as I’m sure you’ve noticed during my presence on here, I always prefer the more magical things!

This particular character would definitely have some sort of relationship (no, not that kind!) or high view in general of/with Bunkisi. I’m sorry, I don’t know what it is, but I just fell in love with that first dragon and it’s design. It’s so hilarious as well as fittingly fantastical; it feels like the embodiment of the game itself, haha! But yeah, keep an eye on your inbox!

You actually have turned a bad day I was having quite around. Cheers, my friend! And more good luck with your work!


This just registered with my brain after all that. :joy: I’m actually a fan of PoE, specifically the sequel and I’m avidly following development on Obsidian Games’ upcoming installment of it, Avowed! Hell, I have a custom gem-topped wizard staff with the “Oathbreaker” hieroglyphics engraved down it’s shaft. I didn’t make it, I got it off Etsy and requested the customization. It’s really sweet; I’ll be sure to show you sometime if you want to see it!

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Meet Splosh, the turtle-dragon who rules the Coastal Duchy native to nautical halflings.

Big treat–Chapter 5: Resistance is Feudal. Thanks for waiting. In it you choose a “psycho path” (false cheer, compartmentalism, blame deflection, self-aggrandizement), practice a fighting style (sword with a side of shield, nunchuck kung-foolery, hammer time, or dual-wielding shields), and . . . ahem, have the opportunity for intimate interaction w/Yester. Thus, I’ve added this content warning to the top of the thread:

Content Warning

Be ye warned of MATURE CONTENT, including but not limited to: language, violence, nudity, sexuality, sensitive subjects, moral grayness, the death of pure emotion, disillusionment, hair loss, carpal tunnel, etcetera.

Be ye also warned of IMMATURE CONTENT, including but not limited to: slapstick, casual nihilism, self-mockery, disproportionate responses, middling prose and grammar, poor role models, depictions of ugly “isms” like mysogan-ism, racism (of the elf-dwarf type), feudalism–really, we’re looking to have fun, laugh, and enjoy ourselves at anyone’s expense. ← That’s an example of sarcasm, which is also included at no additional cost.

This chapter is almost 28k words. You reach 5/6 Romantic options. Explore 1/2 warring factions. Your decisions have consequences, even the ones which aren’t immediately apparent and in ways that aren’t always intuitive. For instance, this isn’t one of those games where you can please everyone. In fact, Saz doesn’t care much for people pleasers. Anyway, let me know what you think. And ENJOY! I’ll post surveys about your Ch4 and Ch5 decisions this week. In Ch6, you will meet the last RO and the second faction. Spoiler: There are SUMO FAIRIES, which I’ve been eager to reveal. From Ch 7 on . . . lots of dragons. Now you have all 5, but people don’t remember much about the 6th. Thanks for your support.

Based on artwork alone, who is your favorite dragon? (All viewable in “Concept Art” dropdown at top of thread.)
  • Bunkisi, the frog-dragon of the Jungle Duchy
  • Hazmek, the scorpion-dragon of the Desert Duchy.
  • Tzob, the spider-dragon of the Swamp Duchy.
  • Brr-Brr-a, the frost wyrm of the Blizzard Duchy.
  • Splosh, the turtle-dragon of the Coastal Duchy.

0 voters


You just keep it coming! I wish I had your motivation.

Your humor at this point has to be genetic. Nobody can just learn to be this level of stomach-rumbling.

…Is it illegal to pay extra for a product once it’s released?

What the hell are those?! And can I wrestle one?

Okay, who does your art and what is their business contact information?

Expect feed back from yours truly later today! If I’m being a headache, please simply lessen the quality of your work substantially. Unfortunately for you, I think that’s hard.

Cheers again!


I looove the artwork. Those dragons are chef’s kiss


@dwsnee Imma resuse this post for more corrections and things i caught because i posted too much lol


how exactly do you hack you lips?? lol- also dieing is supposed to be dying
and the screen still freezes- may be my computer trying not to let me see more thus i die of laughter.

new stuff


the screen freezes after i choose this option. i tried reloading, but it’s always this option.

I'm still wheezing from laughter- but am alive enough to find some errors

Yester is Male

the demo gets a error for every choice- is it where it ends?


Nope! I broke it by messing with it. Sorry. It should be fixed now. Thanks so much–per usual. @Mistyleaf123

P.S. Now everyone knows you asked to get into the bath with him and chose foot massage as your comfort-delivery device! :sweat_smile:

Hmm, I can’t seem to find why that’s the case. Neither Quicktest nor Random Test at 10,000 trials displays any error. The code looks fine at a glance. I’ll keep looking at it, but if you try it again, and it doesn’t work, will you let me know? @Mistyleaf123

Lip hacking is a delicate erotic art involving a keyboard. I’d intended “hacking” like coughing as well as smacking lips. But . . . I see how that’s confusing. Please don’t take my writer card away. I’m still digging into the code and not finding anything. Please don’t die of laughter before you finish fixing my prose. That would be inconsiderate. @Mistyleaf123


I’ve long sensed that my genetic code encrypts a comedy. Alas, that joke is on me. That’s why I look funny.

The timeless art of dual-wielding shields has always been absent from popular medieval depiction. Defensive personality types prefer the style. Sumo fairies are, as their name suggests, tiny flying sumo wrestlers. You can wrestle them–at your own peril. As always, thanks for the feedback and engagement! It helps me to not fall asleep on my keyboard. @Waylon_Royce :fairy: :japanese_castle: :shield: :shield:

I’m glad you like the art! I feel sorry for the chef who tries to kiss a dragon. They’d be cooking up trouble. @Jackpot1776 :kiss: :dragon: :skull_and_crossbones:

Mechanics for Double Shields

I have it coded that Double Shield checks off of Unbreakable. I think it’s difficulty 65–Octo is well-trained. Nunchucks actually check off of Untouchable as the test is whether you hit yourself. I think a lot of people will be unpleasantly surprised by that. Hammer Time scales off Muscleness. Sword with a side of shield scales off of Skillfulness. Maybe I should change them. I thought two defensive roll weapons would be cool. A lot of the checks, relationship bars, and health change I’m planning to recalibrate later.



The nonexistant art is actually a lot more versatile than people think - dual wielding smaller, metal buckler shields, in fictional context, could be very effective against daggers and hand to hand combat, allowing you to absorb attacks and bash or even slice and stab your way through somebody.

Hmm, small metal bucklers with sharpened, circular steel edges…that needs to be done by someone. If you’re a Mortal Kombat fan, think dual-wielding two smaller versions of Kung Lao’s hat. That’s a great idea in my opinion. That’d be gnarly.

…But what about my statuesque strength and questionable sanity?

giphy (1)

Speaking of combat, back to the shields, actually. So you need high toughness to win the fight with them? The game mentioned needing to be tougher in a way but I figured that tied with strength.


idk if this is a mistake or something,
but apparently in the RO list, Yester is not there, and Llorick is there even when he already has a wife.

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Re: Yester

Nice catch. :wink: I didn’t think anyone would notice. Something happens to Yester. I’m not saying they die, but they go missing for part of the game, and so do not end up being part of the core party. It’s hard for me since they are one of my favorites, but I’m hoping it will effect readers similarly. You’ll see that Megdura isn’t on there either.

Re: Llorick

Llorick has a wife, but she’s dead. He took her spirit into his own body, to buy himself time to revive her. But, before the end, only one of them will occupy his body–player’s choice. So, the PC can romance Llorick as Llorick or Llorick as the Marquess. They won’t both be around. For me as a writer, I thought it would be an interesting experiment with gender identity–a woman in a man’s body. You’ll have to let me know if it lands.

Can’t sneak anything past you, @Mistyleaf123

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Wait- will they be back before the end of the game though? I’ll def miss them. :sob:

I’ve been told I’ve got a very sharp eye. I’ve poked others with it many times before. Unfortunate, really.


I promise you will see them again after chapter five. :innocent:

Ha! :laughing: I’ve heard those with sharp eyes can kill with a look? Not unfortunate. When the alternative is blindness, choose a sharp eye every time.

I should update that drop down, now that you mention it. I’m pretty firmly committed to coding out the 6 listed ROs as gender-swappable. Only, I’m going to wait until I’m finished to do it. I wasn’t sure when I started that I was good enough at coding, but I’ve gotten better as I’ve gone along. I also kind of formed my opinion as I went. For some reason, it’s become important to me. I was thinking of drawing each of them as both a man and a woman and then posting them as I continue. I could include the appropriate portrait for each playthrough. Does that sound cool or creepy? Or other. I know some people want to be free to imagine ROs completely, so maybe I shouldn’t draw them at all. I’ll be interested to poll everyone’s favorite RO at the end of next chapter. You have a fave yet? @Mistyleaf123

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I wish I was deaf, lol. My brother’s screams can wake the dead. My sister’s yells can shake the world. My ears are dying. My brain ran away to be with someone else.

That sounds quite nice to me, even though I like to imagine the ROs, I’d still love to see how you interpreted them :3

I’d like you to draw them, but maybe instead of posting them as you continue(unlike the dragon art), you could just have a dropdown in the first post w/ the RO art? ppl who want to see it can, and ppl who don’t, don’t have to.