[WiP] Not Your Mother's Shire (c11: The Once and Future Kink)

Alright, peeps. Had to have a few regularly scheduled dark nights of the soul, there, but now I’m back on it. I get bored easily, so the advantage there is that you can get in and out of self-loathing existential crises of imposter syndrome pretty quickly without having to make any real “progress.”

Anyway, onward. I need to recalibrate relationship growth, but I’ll save that for after. What I’ll do is cap them all out so you “alpha readers” can sow your virtual oats on a whim. No promises about pregnancy or IF-transmitted diseases. The road from here?

c9: Enter the Ftaghn. Applebrook. You pick one of four paths and may commit to a romantic partner(s).
c10a: Game of Throats. Obscene battle chapter. Desert Duchy versus Coastal Duchy.
c10b: The Name of the Wimp. More war. Blizzard Duchy versus Swamp Duchy.
c11: The Once and Future Kink. Jungle Duchy. Endings.

These will read fast since those “worlds” are built, and stages are set. Though we have 150,000 words remaining, your chapters ought to be half as long as you’re used to. For instance, you’ll only experience half of ch10a and c10b in a single playthrough. Let’s see what happens!

Grassy ass.

@q_riley Oh no! I’ll check it out. @Frieza The Saga of Phills!

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I have returned. After months of working and not sleeping and therefore being too tired to do anything. I have somewhat reached stability (or at least repetition) once again. I find I fall out of it very easily. Who said man was a creature of habit? They were right. I just only have bad ones.

Anywho, so estactic to see this game still chugging along. I’ll be combing over the content I missed and seeing what’s new.

That’s all for n-holy shit, duchy battles? Duchy battles?!

Vexius will certainly be locked and loaded for those, and I will be, too. For Bunkisi.

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Welcome back, @Vexius_Krexius

Do beers count as chugging? Sorry about your tickets for the struggle bus.

Yeah–writer-gods are like the Ancient Greek ones: moody, whimsical, and kind of fucked up. Glad to have you back. Cheers!

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So it’s been a while since I kept up with this, and wow has a lot happened! I really enjoyed some of the recent plot twists, and your writing style is improving dramatically as the story progresses (or maybe I just needed time to adjust to the atmosphere and get attached to the characters, or maybe it’s a bit of both).

In the initial chapters, I felt like the fast pacing and comical tone made it harder to get invested in the world, but that isn’t the case now. I love how much creativity has gone into the worldbuilding, from terrifying jungle beasts to cute little vege-hogs, and you can never be sure what’s just window dressing and what will turn out to be quite important actually (those giant barrows weren’t just hills for you to walk over! those sand-rays weren’t just eating flies to point out the ambush site!). I’ve also started feeling sympathy to characters I’d dismissed, particularly Vera/Vero, and after the most recent chapter…Zale is either ten times more or less attractive, but I haven’t decided which.

After you’ve gone to so much effort with the ROs, I’m pretty surprised that they’re now getting maimed left and right, but as I voted in the most recent poll, ‘judge me by the love I still have’. With the caveat that in Llorick’s case, I am stubbornly picturing his original design with the long, dark hair. Apparently my heart doesn’t care about scars, but draws the line at a bad haircut. Does this make me more or less shallow? Who knows! Octa is still my number one lady, too.

Also on the subject of RO’s, some of them do come on very strong without much/any prompting, and if this were any other game I’d suggest toning that down to avoid making readers uncomfortable. That’s probably not a big issue here though, since if someone has gotten that far then they know what sort of game they’re playing, and the warnings are all there on the tin.

I’m glad the neutral paths exist, since I’ve found it difficult picking a side up until now. I was leaning slightly towards Dragonfall after the Jungle Duchy, then towards Dragonsworn after the Blizzard Duchy, wasn’t inclined to support either side during the Desert Duchy brawl…and so on. In the future battles, I would like to see Coastal beat Desert, if nothing else. Looking forward to the next chapter!

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Wow, thank you @Elysian for taking the time to write all of that up. It’s a super valuable perspective.

I’m learning long-form comedy is super tricky, knowing how and how often to be funny so that things don’t get tired. I think it took me 5 or so chapters to find my stride. I write as a pants-er inside guard rails because I want to be open to what the characters and world will do. Downside, the last thing you can really write is the beginning. When I’m finished, I will probably have to make some pretty big changes to chapters 1-4 to bring the pace and tone into alignment. I think this hurts my readership since, if you can’t get past the beginning, which will be the worst part until I write the end, many aren’t going to stick with it. I’ve never written where people could read all throughout the process. It’s . . . odd. There’s so much you want to explain which probably wouldn’t be helped by explanation. Anyway, thanks a ton. This is a real pick-me-up for me.

Yeah we don’t discuss sex much on here and can’t really. So I don’t know if I’m being a total creep. The idea was to design different fantasy fulfillments across characters. Whether that’s kinky exhibitionism (Zale), casual physicality with someone hot and athletic (Octo/Octa), awkward cute manga-flirtsy with possible abandonment looming (Trudy/Rudy), traditional monogamous slow-burn with mother-father archetypes (Vera/o and Saz)–I’m trying to address a kink with everyone. If anyone has feedback on any of the sex or romance, please feel free to PM me. Due to forum restrictions it’s the least calibrated. LOTS more coming in c9.

I’ll post an update next week. However, I’m more or less committed to 5 asexual (intimate-platonic) committed relationships, 2-3 poly routes (these are going to be difficult since you’ll have to have high enough relationships stats on 2 characters), and 7-ish monogamous gay, hetero . . . relationships. Since, on top of choosing your ending path, you have a comfort, dinner, lounge, and coitus scene depending on your decisions, c9 will be the hardest chapter to write and the shortest to read. But I think it will be worth it, as it’s the culmination of all your decisions: relational and factional. Bonus: you can choose to play cards with Melvis and Phill instead of anything romantic with anyone else, or as a default if you have bombed all your relationship stats! You might pick it anyway! More to follow. Cheers, everyone!

P.S. Can anyone guess what the romantic threesomes are? Hint: one is sort of carnal frenemies; one is lighthearted free love; one (I’m debating) is two people who ordinarily wouldn’t. If you can guess all 3, I’ll name a battle site after you.(first person only; one guess per person)

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I’ve laughed so much while playing the demo I think my gut resents me now lmao. I’ve loved the WIP <3
Keep up the good work!

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Glad to be of help! Having a weak beginning is far from the worst sin a WIP can commit, honestly. There’s so many posts on this forum that consist of amazing first chapters, heaps of enthusiastic comments, and then…nothing ever again. For now, the most important thing to master is ‘getting on with it’ and telling the rest of the story, which is what you’re doing. Otherwise it’s like a baker who just mixes the ingredients and then wanders off, leaving everyone dreaming wistfully of cake.

Anyway, here’s some bug spots, mostly pronoun mix-ups. I have one save file where everyone’s female, and another where everyone’s male. These are from the former file, meaning that anywhere Saz or Octa are referred to as he/him, it’s out of place. I’ll add any I find in other chapters, and from the other file too.

NYMS1

NYMS2

NYMS3
Since Octa is ‘she’ and Lorne is ‘they’, I’m not sure whose office they were in?


Additional bit here - I did spar with her in the training yard.

NYMS6
As well as Saz being ‘him’, I think ‘th’ should be ‘at’, and there’s an extra ‘who’ hiding in the last sentence.

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Hello! Thank you for the updates!

Is this where the current update end or it’s my internet. Btw, I already completed the above choice, it’s just the choices which I completed do not grey out.

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Thanks @Yklewz . I’m too anxious for regular bowel movement, personally. So, I figure if my guts are going to hate me anyway, I may as well get a laugh out of it.

Thanks again @Elysian . Every bit of help lightens the load. I’m truly grateful.

@Mei_Hiroshi You’ve read everything I’ve posted so far! Now that I have the screenshot, I know at least one person has done it! More to follow.

Update: So, uh, a bit of an unexpected expense forced me to divert some writing time and energy to paid work. That’s what I’ve been up to. On the bright side, I managed to squeeze in a short sci-fi story on spec called “Charwat’s Lunar Fieldtrip: Do Boobs Float in Space?” I’ve found it hilarious and devastating to write–if something can’t make me both laugh and cry, I don’t want to read it. I think my wires got crossed somewhere along the way. Anyway, I’m shopping it. If that all falls through, you can enjoy a free laugh-cry on me. (There is a headless chicken food laboratory on the moon called No Harm No Fowl!) Needing money sucks. c9 is 10k/40k words. You’ll get your chapters. Cheers!

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Been a while since I’ve had chance to catch-up and I couldn’t be happier about the opportunity to be with Phill Two again! (However brief.:cry:) I know I’ve said this before, but the dynamic between my MC and Phill Two just tickles me, it’s so ridiculous and I love that.

I’ve enjoyed being able to spend time with each of the posse and I am very much looking forward to seeing the drama unfold! I’m still partial to Vera, but since restarting with the gender swap options, Saz is up there and is swiftly stealing the show - so much so, I told Yester that I wasn’t interested. I know! Can you believe that? A shock for the ages. As for the civil war brewing/brewed, I just keep thinking of the Stormcloaks and Imperials, two sides I that I’m not really a part of, but I just know I’ll lean one way or the other at some point. Or I’ll just go with the most chaos and screw everyone, or be very selfish and only look out for my pals. Who knows? Maybe we will all come together in peace and harmony, I’m sure Vera has something to help with that.

I was also wondering if you would consider more save files? They’re my quicksave in the world of interactive fiction and I like to squeeze all the juice out of the options.

Thanks for all the hard work you’ve put into this story so far, the world you’ve built feels so vibrant and alive, it’s always a joy to read. I’m looking forward to what is to come! :blush:

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@jamelikename Welcome back! Hope you enjoyed your summer and that everything went swimmingly with your paper. For those of you who don’t know, they named all the ships in c7b:Chalice in Plunderland. The animals have missed you.

Update: prolific few days–insomnia and wine coolers involved. c9 is around 17,000 words and rolling. Writing Zale has been a font of perverse and twisted joy in my broken demented life. I’m giving him/her the chapter quote, “Your side, my side, backstab, affront–war isn’t a bloody dodecahedron.” Previously, it had been Regina Schmerlin, “Why isn’t ‘underthink’ a word?”

What do you think about a stat lock post chapter 9. Lots of rolls–you have to be what you’ve become?
  • Consequences? No, dammit!
  • Consequences? I welcome judgment.
  • I plead the fifth.
  • Consequences, schmonsequences.

0 voters

So, I’m thinking making perma-death possible during the duchy battles of 10a/b . . .
  • Dick move, don’t do it.
  • Dick move, do it.
  • Narrative stakes? Stake me!
  • Uh, that’s a lot of words to read not to have to maybe not make it to the end. It’s end, not yours.

0 voters

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I’ve seen this page on the forum many times and I’ve heard good things about it but ignored it for a while.

That was stupid.

This is one of the best WIPs on this site and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be one of my favorite titles when it releases.

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Good things come to those who wait!

In the meantime, here’s a few more gender mix-ups from chapters 4/5. This one’s supposed to be an all-male playthrough, so wherever Rudi, Vero or Yester are referred to as she/her it needs a bit of extra coding.

NYMS7

NYMS8
upi = you?

NYMS9

NYMS10

NYMS11

NYMS12

NYMS13

NYMS14

NYMS16

NYMS15

That aside, you asked for achievement suggestions a while back, and I came up with a few:

Naming the most possible things after Phill. Naturally this would need a terrible pun as the achievement title. Had Your Phill? Broad Phill-osphy? The possibilities are, if not endless, then certainly multiple.

Switching out every piece of your initial clothing, preferably for the worst possible option. Strut around in crocs and a wooden crate. Be a fashion disaster. Make Llorick/Llivette weep.

Some sort of Casanova achievement, for getting the most possible action from the most characters. Conversely, a Casa-no-va achievement for resisting everyone’s advances.

What’s the most damage a character can take – through bad player decisions and not pre-determined plot events – and not die? Give an achievement for that.

What’s the silliest, most trivial way that each each Equilibrium power can be used (setting aside how everything to do with Yolo is a bit silly)? I’d go with lightning handshakes for Yin, and restoring the Shangri Llama prince’s…ability to perform, with Yang. Make that achievement-worthy.

This last idea’s more involved, but when the MC gets the Dolphinator tattoo, there’s a comment about how part of the fun is getting a list of crossed out names. So, how about that? In each place you visit after that, there could be another tattoo artist (or at least somebody in possession of needles, ink, and the urge to repeatedly stab people with them). Each one will modify the tattoo with a new name, and cross out what’s above it. The name is always a character the MC wouldn’t choose, but they don’t get a say.

If you wanted to be cute, you could have the last name on the list be an RO, but maybe like…spelled very wrong. The tattoo artist was resentful that their canvas made demands! You might pick the word this once, but they’ll still choose the letters it’s composed of! …Anyway yeah, and then you could get an achievement for collecting a certain number of names. Feel free to ignore this though, because scope creep is a thing.

Also, in regards to the romantic threesomes, would it be the MC dating two people, or all three involved with each other? Because that would change my guesses, since most of the companions seem to…not get along too well with each other.

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Wow, that’s really nice of you to say–thank you. My fragile artist’s ego is grateful for the praise, otherwise laboring in a room alone for hundreds of hours. It’s reassuring to hear since my writing tends to be MARKEDLY improved post-edit. Writing this way, where people can read your draft, is weird to me. I’ve got some more good things in store, so stay tuned!

@Elysian Thank you so much, again. I think I’ve implemented all those changes. It’s really helpful. Pronoun mistakes look like a low-level mistake to the casual reader, like English might not be my first language, but are super tricky when you’re coding in a gender-swap. I’m trying to be mindful of how they can ruin immersion for people trying to get into my story while also moving it toward finish for the faithful patient. I’m definitely going to use some of those achieves! For all your help, you can choose the name and race of the humanoid form of Hazmek if you like–with veto rights, of course. Or, if you prefer, you can name a battle site. Much of the Coastal battle happens on the water, so a strait, shallows, or gulf? Your choice really influences outcome, so the name has to fit for either side losing.

Update: put in a good 3k words today. Up to 21.something in c9, 371+k total. More importantly, I have all the steps laid out and can see my way to the end. Lot of drudgery taking the steps. Imagine male-female PC descriptions for last supper, last date, and coitus for 7 male-female ROs and two poly sitches on 4 ending plot paths. Lot of nuanced code for so many variable plot and romantic endings, while also trying to make everything meaningful. Really looking forward to the duchy battles. And I think I will still surprise some of you diehards. Thanks for your patience. Slow and steady wins the race, or so said some slow asshole.

Which chapter do you want first?
  • 10a: Blizzard vs. Swamp; Riga and Vera/o (DF) versus Zale and Tzob (DS)
  • 10b: Desert vs. Coastal; Hazmek and Saz (DS) versus Splosh and Octo/a (DF)
0 voters
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English isn’t your first language? Goddamn, mate, I couldn’t tell!

See, you might not believe it, but, spiritually, we’re the same person. Not being weird, you just have my exact form of humour. I have a theory that you’re unknowingly a fragment of my soul that drifted off into the aether one day after my heart was broken that one time and then you were naturally recycled into the world as a person. The embodiment of what makes me laugh.

Am I being a tad weird? Listen, either way, life’s beautiful, isn’t it?

  • Some asshole.
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@Vexius_Krexius I want my writing to be, for everyone, whatever they need it to be. :man_artist:

Update: c9 around 30k words. I’m finished except for the date-meal-sex scenarios for all ROs, which is turning out to be a lot. Inclusion is hard fucking work.
I’ve written:
-Male-female MC w/Trudy-Rudi (4 possibilities, there) NB MC w/Trudy-Rudi (2), and Ace w/Trudy-Rudi (2). :poop:
-Male-female MC w/male-female Zale (4) and NB MC w/male-female Zale (2). I tried, but he/she won’t do ace. He/she says, “I need to have enough sex for a lifetime in case my lifetime ends tomorrow.” :smiling_imp:

I’ve outlined all the others, but it’s turning out to be a curious state of mind as a method writer, seeing sex in everything, even the toothpaste aisle at Target. I’m trying to make each case meaningful, original, and true to character. I know it will surprise you, since it surprises me. At one point, Zale uses air magic to create a vacuum so that you’re both asphyxiated. At one point, Trudy/Rudi might mount you on a steep shingled roof, while you need both hands to keep the two of you from sliding off, shaving your asses before you fall to grievous injury or foolish death. I think 75% of the replay value will come from people wanting to see each of these pre-battle culminating romantic encounters. So, I want to do a spectacular job of it. Living in Zale and Trudy’s mind space for two days has me tripping balls and feeling over-sex-ed, not that I have to masturbate with a foot in an apple pie full of glass shards for accuracy. It’s cool, though, to be possessed a while. Today, Zale told me, “No one has any perspective that hasn’t been out of their mind.” If you have to trip balls to get there, I’m all for it. :pill: :crazy_face: :pie: :kiss:

That said, I may placehold the poly routes to push out this chapter and then circle back after I’ve written the duchy battles. I’m betting I’ll need a change of pace after six more RO sets. :see_no_evil: :hear_no_evil: :speak_no_evil:

So: I’m late, but promise to be worth it, like the hottest date you ever had. Cheers, all. Have a good weekend! :clown_face: :beers:

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Ohohohokkk that sounds wow :grimacing::sweat_smile:
Your writing is extraordinary
Also don’t worry about being late get some rest too XD

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This is the point where you’re allowed to curse those of us who said ‘make all your ROs gender-swappable and romanceable by anyone!’

I would like to name a battle site, please! …Though I haven’t actually come up with anything yet, since my creative juices are circling the drain this week thanks to 60+ hours of work. Leave it with me for now?

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Question for an ace: shared platonic bath, romantic or no? :thinking: :blue_heart: :two_men_holding_hands:

Probably not. Even considering something of that nature would take a degree of trust no one on this wide earth has ever earned from me. Having said that, according to the spectrum, it can be romantic, but just that little description leaves a lot of unknowns about the scenario, and individuals involved.

This is definitely one to be discussed between more than just my one perspective.

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