[WiP] Not Your Mother's Shire (c10a: Game of Throats)

wait xD to be clear; do you become a dragon or just have it as a title?

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Hey this happens in Chapter 9 when you say goodybe to everyone on the section with Trudy

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@Frieza Did something. Is it fixed for you?

@Mistyleaf123 If you kill it, you become it. !

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Yup! It’s good now

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I am excited as always to see a new chapter, and will be even more excited once I can play the whole thing! Unfortunately, a bug is stopping me at the moment - and I also can’t get a screenshot of it to upload, so words will have to suffice.

My character was fighting the undead giant, and had just chosen a climbing method, when I got a ‘no selectable options’ error for line 574. A code-dive reveals that on the following page, there’s two choices that require high magnetism, and two that require high unbreakable, when I’m thinking you also meant to have choices for the lower end of those stats.

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Nice catch! Such a stupid error. I was seeing double there by the end. Thanks for finding it. Should be good to go now! :crossed_fingers:

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Good to go, indeed!

Is it weird that I liked Zale more in this chapter, than all the others combined? Co-op zombie dragon battle? Saving Vero/a? Excellent stuff. I feel like I shouldn’t be too concerned at how things ended though, I expect they’ll show up again eventually (whether anyone likes it or not).

New dragon lore! Well, if anyone deserves to have shiny world-changing powers, it’s probably Vero/a. Er, hopefully it won’t completely ruin their life plans, and they can just chill somewhere and let orphans climb all over them in dragon form, if that’s what they want. I’m glad they didn’t die.

THAT ACCURSED HORSE. Every time I think the horse is gone, it comes back to haunt me again. Growing ever more powerful. At this rate it’s going to end up as the final boss, and though the MC may shed a tear as they strike the beast down, my own eyes shall not only be dry but aglow with triumph.

I see you have taken the wise step to simply add my name in, rather than wait any more for me to think of a name for something! I appreciate this.

I would express surprise at Llorick’s situation, if it hadn’t been heavily foreshadowed and completely obvious what would happen. I’m torn between ‘oh no, that sucks, hope he can be rescued’ and ‘serves him right, mister so-smart-he’s-stupid, mister you-go-fight-for-the-continent’s-future-while-I-sort-my-own-stuff-out’.

Looking forward to seeing Octa/o in the next part. At least the worst has already happened for them, right? …Right?

Oh, and a couple of minor spots, again in text form since this site is still being weird about image uploading for me.

When confronting Riga and Brr-brr-aa, some text repeated twice for me, from ‘It’s not that they look at you like you’re stupid’ down to ‘Riga says he and Zale could take turns turning coats.’ A little further down is the line ‘It flings him far and fast, and she hits hard against a tree.’ The ‘she’ should be ‘he’ there, since this was a file where Vera was Vero.

After Brr-brr-aa is dealt with, there’s the line ‘There’s something pure and desperate to Zale’s asking, so akin to begging, that you’re helping efoure you’ve processed.’ I think that was a ‘before’ that refused to conform?

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Yes, you are now a lagoon! I’ve always liked Zale, so I have no idea where he/she falls on the roving spectrum of swellness. He/she is definitely destined to be Yoda in a sequel. Re-horse: yes, well, I decided at the last minute to work in an Armageddon Kazoo somehow. Now there’s a pig-dragon. I should get to your edits tomorrow–thanks for pointing them out! I wouldn’t bet on things being the most peachy for Octo/a. Peachful? Peach-filled? Of course, anything can happen. :man_shrugging: :peach: :crown:

I’ve edited almost 1000 lines, for those waiting for a cleaner read. I suspect this particular chapter needs a few more pruning passes for clarity and goodness-ness, but the madness really gets in me with this one. No fewer than seven overwhelmed migraines last session! It reads much differently when you get every choice every time. There is a sanity cost, I think. Keep doing creative death-stuff, then when a guy cuts in front of you at the register at Target to buy wrapping paper, gum, and double-A batteries, your mind instantly crafts ways to kill him with each. :thinking: :hocho: :christmas_tree:

In editing, I’ve seen this chapter is insanity, the madness of madness.
  • Been that way the whole time, cochiloco.
  • The plot does seem to be a bit off its medication.
  • Confusing? Yes. Entertaining? Yes. Yes? Yes.
  • Uh, maybe tone things down a smidgeon.
  • Where to begin . . .

0 voters

EDIT: full basic readability edit done and uploaded for c10a, for those that were waiting. Cheers! On to c10b.

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Been following this insane, yet entertaining story for a while. It’s quite nice to see an update :slight_smile:

Just a question, when will male Yester parts be updated? The first time we meet him he is built like an Adonis, a muscle beach guy. But then the next meetings just describe him like female Yester and in the third/fourth one there is no change whatsoever.

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Thanks for following! Hmm, I thought I wrote separate descriptions for male Yester. Maybe the code isn’t switching? I’ll take a look. If not, it’s definitely something I can work out. Sorry to disappoint. Hoping to put a bow on all this Q1 ‘22. Cheers! Happy holidays.

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Holidays? Check. Being uncommunicative? Check. Three total “checks”? Check.

Welp, I drove for three days. Now, I have a writing residency for ten-ish. Then, more driving. So, sad news for fans of NYMS, happy news for fans of me. Since I’ll be writing other stuff intensely for two weeks. Ish. Could be good? :clown_face: :clown_face: :clown_face:

P.S. Someone mentioned my WiP on Reddit! Only they said it doesn’t start until Chapter 4, which is maybe great feedback. Well, not feed back. Feed that was out there that I brought back. Anyway, is that true?

Redditor said NYMS doesn’t start until Ch 4–true?
  • Yeah, dude. Just drop the first 3 chapters mostly.
  • Naw, man. Preludes to intros are like literary foreplay.
  • Time is a flat circle.
  • NYMS never really starts or goes places in a plot sense.
  • Don’t. ask stupid questions.

0 voters

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Quoting a line from the original post:

There are six gender-swappable player-sexual romanceable NPCs forming the PC’s party. There are numerous other opportunities for sex, intimacy, and/or both, but not with “adventuring regulars.”

So I haven’t played this demo yet, but I’m confused about the line I’ve highlighted in bold - does it mean our MC will be able to have sex, but not with the romance options (which I assume are our fellow party members and “adventuring regulars”)? :thinking: :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

If someone could let me know, I’d really appreciate it.

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You will be albe to sleep with the RO’s too. Just not right away.

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Well, I had sexy times with 3 of the ROs before the RO lock (I know, I’m just like that). I think the statement you reference means there are non-RO recurring characters that you can’t get busy with.

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Oh, hai. Absentee writer, here. Just finishing up a draft of a novel to turn in on Sunday. You haven’t missed me, have you?

@Erized Looks like @Frieza and @MadAdam have you covered. Not only are they official ambassadors of nonsense, but they’re both featured in the story, though non-romanceable I’m afraid. To restate, you can sex with all seven (is it seven?) NPCs and some other people, at least one mermaid. Maybe a plus-sized troll? Can’t remember. Guess there’s a lot of sexual fantasy in this fantasy after all. Probably just added a little in every time I felt it was getting boring. If you get a chance to play it, I hope you enjoy.

So, after I get my pages in, maybe I can work on this some more. We’re so dreadfully close to the end–maybe that’s why I’m putting it off? Any excuse will do for me, really. Oh, here’s a whim. I thought I might just put it up for free or something when I’m done. What do you think?

How should the if-ever finished game be distributed?
  • Dude, what gives. You started it as a Hosted Game, so finish it that way, dummy.
  • Please, please make it free on itch or something.
  • Turn it for IF Comp or some shit whacky for how long it is.
  • Maybe let Hosted Games do it for free with ads or something to help the business.
  • Erm, shouldn’t you, like, give a damn about, like, money, since it took a >year?

0 voters

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Even if you’re not bothered about money, I think being published through Hosted Games would give better distribution, since it’ll get you into the app stores and onto Steam (not every game gets on Steam automatically, but I see no reason this one wouldn’t make the cut). If you wanted to go the Itch.io route, you’d have less help with promotion and also need to convert the whole thing into another coding language.

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I am a most enthusiastic ambassador of nonsense but to be clear, I am romanceable, just not in this story😂

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You ask that question in a poll, and honestly I would pick the answer you didn’t offer; it is up to you. Plenty of people can have opinions about the worth of someone else’s work, but at the end of the day, how–if at all–you monetize that effort, and time you put in should be up to you.

I’m not against buying this IF game, and it doesn’t matter if it is with Hosted, or itch, or whomever you deem the best method of distributing your game. The main differences to keep in mind are the hosting cuts; asking price isn’t something authors have much say over here, afaik. It should also be noted that choice script is proprietary to cog, so you wouldn’t be able to really ‘sell’ this on other sites as long as it is written in cs.

Whatever self doubts you might be having, either from ‘greed vs some misguided deprecation’ or from genuine confusion over the matter, the choice should rightfully stay in your hands.

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I strive for the role of ambasssador of nonsense. I look forward to diplomatic missions as a representative of the state! Uh, I mean game!

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Sage. Guess I’m having misgivings about charging for something that’s not as good as I can make it. I’d never coded anything before or written anything long-form in second person. I just want the world to have it if they want it.

Unrelated note. Forgot I did a piece of flash fiction for a charity horror anthology, Hell is for Children, with profits going to Lumos. My piece, “Bloody Marriage,” is (about 5 pages) but also about a man whose plans to get lucky on his honeymoon are ruined when his new bride accidentally summons an urban legend over breakfast cocktails… or something like that–I can’t be summarized, even by me.

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