[WiP] Morning Star: Heaven's Number One (CHAPTER 3 COMPLETE 26/02/2021)

Thanks for your answers! And yeah, since I make very thorough “reports” usually, I prefer to structure them clearly - easier for me and easier for the authors!

I got it for the guilt! I was a bit confused, but as long as you say it’s fine, that’s okay!

The somber one still feels a bit strange to me, but okay. It’s not the most important one to me.

And gotcha for the photoshoot and for Camus!

So about Good vs Evil...

You say that “if there’s too much power on one side then it will have consequences. They do not have to be bad.” - I mean, I assumed that :rofl: - it would be stranger if it didn’t have consequences. But really, what I wanted to know was if not preserving equilibrium would automatically lock the player out of a positive ending. But oh well, with what you said, I assume it’s okay. Cause I really can’t force myself to choose the options that raise corruption - it’s not even a conscious way of avoiding these - when I answer naturally I simply don’t pick any, it seems.

Grace and Corruption...

Oh I KNOW it will have effects on major things :rofl: - again, how could it not?
I actually wanted to know if it’ll have effect on small flavor text in unimportant places too, instead of big things only! The question was intentionally about small things only. But well, since you said it would affect much more than that, I guess it means small flavor text will be affected too?

And also, I have to mention…
I may be a bit conflicted about some elements of the game as of now, but last night I had a DREAM about it. Sooo… I guess I really got attached? :sweat_smile:

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A dream you say? Your poor subconsciousness (ʘ‿ʘ)

What if I told you… that this was my goal from the very beginning? :joy: (tho you’re probably confused about other things, but let’s ignore that)

Where’d you get that word jsdafhjdj?? ahem Sorry.
So, uh no, it doesn’t. Look, I already planned all the endings and all I can tell you is that consistency is key. Meaning: if you try to keep the balance, you have to do it until the end. If you want to be evil, you have to be really evil etc. Also the “good” ending might not be what you think it is, so again it depends on how you look at it. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

And about the Grace/Corruption: there will be times where it affects how you approach some things and may lock you out of some choices too. These will be small things like you said.

That’s all I think!

PS:

I understand, but it’s canon that Lucifer has committed all seven sins at some point. I hope you still enjoy the story (which you obviously do, but still :kissing_heart:)

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Well, that was basically the fear I had because of what was mentionned in the game :rofl:
But your previous answer reassured me about that.
Also, I don’t think anything about what the “good” ending is XD
That’s also why I was using a tentative “positive ending” instead of calling it good per se. I DO prefer having an ending that is positive, otherwise it’s just depressing, especially after a very long game, but it’s not common to NOT have an overall positive ending at all, even if it isn’t all good and nice and perfect.
As long as I have something more or less positive, I tend to be happy. I’m more lenient in visual novel where it’s more common for me to try and get all endings, since it’s usually easier and/or faster. And well, sometimes an ending that people deem negative is actually positive from my perspective, so eh :woman_shrugging:
For example, I don’t know if you played Sweet Pool, but the ending I consider the best / more positive is The Red Road. And, even if that’s not a visual novel but an RPG, Tales of Xillia II features my second favorite ending of all times in any game, which is the Julius Ending - which is basically considered to be THE bad ending. So yeah, good and bad is very relative and personal, as far as endings go.
I still uuuusually prefer when the MC and their closest one/s survive… usually, like I said :rofl:

Okay! I was mostly interested in that, so thanks!
Flavor text or minor choices are important for immersion and often make me smile when I notice small touches that obviously are affected by that. That’s why I didn’t “care” about major consequences of Grace and Corruption in this case (not to mention, I consider that was touched upon in my questions about equilibrium, indirectly haha).

It’s okay. It’s a weird minor pet peeve of mine when playing games with romance (and sometimes even when playing games WITHOUT romance - or well, where romance is not important), but it’s not a BIG thing. I have major pet peeves too, and it doesn’t seem like it would hit any of these, because it wouldn’t really make sense I think? I can’t see it happening in this story.
The biggest one is in isekai stories, if the MC goes back to their world at the end because “responsibilities” and stuff like that - with a special level of HECK NOPE if there’s the fact that “it was all about growth, and now they can be an adult in their world”, considering usually they achieved so much more in the other world, and then they come back to their normal little life where they are and always will be so much less, so it’s regression. But in the case of your story, angels and demons can travel to an extent, and it’s not really different worlds in an isekai sense anyway.
The secondary one is amnesia (well, amnesia is the only trigger warning I need in stories to begin with, because it really makes me feel bad), but in this case I’m talking about “ending amnesia”, where the MC (or sometimes their love interest or best friend/s) forgets about everything or almost everything that happened during the entire (or most of) the story because of REASONS.
So yeah, what I mean is that I may have minor gripes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like the story!
I had a DREAM about it! I only had dreams about TWO other purely text based games, and I have played… well, more than 100 WIPs included!

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Okay, so in that case you will definitely have the opportunity to be happy, no matter whether the ending in itself isn’t what you would have expected.

So yeah everything is relative, like I said.

Also I hate it too when characters are killed off, but it’s much fun if you are the writer :blush:

And the amnesia thing just annoys me, though time travel in itself gives me headaches too. It’s really not a concept I like, mostly bc I’m over-analyzing many things.

This was all I needed to hear :sparkling_heart: I’m flattered!

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Even negative feedback is still feedback. The issue with your critique, though, is that was strictly Adam’s personality in this interpretation of the creation myth. We wouldn’t really have anything to go off of if things were totally fine from the beginning; no cause to make someone who shouldn’t even conceive of “bitterness” or “deception” toward a form of revenge. Lilith was hurt, and took it out on Adam and Eve for being cruel to her whenever they thought no one was watching. None of the three of them had the capacity to understand the mere concept, but all three could be tempted into doing the wrong thing for one reason, or another. Lilith played a nasty trick on her bullies, so she’s not as innocent as she might seem.

Another issue, though probably more troubling than your words intended, is the problem of Adam not respecting that Lilith hadn’t given her consent, and wanted to be treated like an equal. Pretending this isn’t a conversation that needs to be more openly vocalized ignores the subtle, but important secondary message about what’s wrong with modern society in general.

As an important closing line to my response: further discussion of this will likely derail the topic. Try to keep it focused on the story, and constructive criticism, please! :slightly_smiling_face:

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I’m a little confused right now. Is this a reply to something I said or has been another comment deleted before I could see it?

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A deleted comment. It was less “constructive” and more… Well, it read very rude for being such a short comment. I will not repeat what they said, though. It didn’t have a place as “actionable feedback” is the essence of why it was deleted right before I finished my reply. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Well, then it doesn’t matter and thanks for stepping in. Regardless of what was said, your reply was very nice :sparkles:

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good demo can’t wait to play it once it’s fully released :slight_smile:

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You didn’t know about Lucifer? Been 5 seasons and been renewed for season 6.

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Love Lucifer and love stepping into his feet. Keep going. Loving this.

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:+1: :+1: :+1: :+1: :+1: :+1:

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I’ll be lookin forward to this, but I at the moment my only grip is the lack of interactions which leads to forced choices, and yet this book still young, so is understandable, literature wasn’t made by the the next morning.

And yeah about lilith, I’m looking why Luci still associated with the one who betrayed their trust and friendship of the only one who support her when no one else did, which put heaven on 180°, just wow… also how lilith was pictured in the ‘beginning’ fits very well with the progenitor of both succubus and incubus, and attractive, magnetic, liar, traitor, manipulative and high votalite, oh the irony.

The now demons, former angels were basically categorized on, jealous, ambitious and basically quitters, some fitting in two of them, looking for the backstories and their future machinations, and last but not least, the red headed detective, Paloma (dove in Latin, followed by Spanish, kinda cute though, synonym of peace/ful and holy spirit), the only one human who cares in the situation, and find justice, for the looks of it, is always regardless of the size of the case, also looks like Eva, words by Luci? Now we’re talking, but perhaps she is from the lineage of both Adam and Eva who mistreated so bad at lilith? Who’s to say… The author of course :laughing:, just kidding looking forward to what you have cookin for the future.

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Wow… … Looking for more I guess ; )

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Do I must expect Lucifer references here? Dammit I don’t watch the show, yet :joy:

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Just awesome story but please let me kill Lilith , or make her leave my mc i hate her so much :rage:

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I actually think Lilith’s a pretty interesting character, I thought she did it out of spite for Adam and Eve without fully comprehending the consequences for her actions.

And it makes sense why she would be so loyal to Lucifer, this is someone who feels they were tossed away and replaced by the almighty himself. Despite betraying Lucifer’s/Lucy’s trust, the archangel stood by them; falling the process. And she’s had to deal with that guilt eating at her for centuries.

Cameron I understand less, I like how the MC is still cautious and paranoid about them. I would be too, they’re motivations are unknown to me. Why is he so loyal and insistent on staying by Lucifer’s side?

I do hope in later the chapters we have a chance to talk to him about this. As well as having a proper sit down with Lilith too about our Fall.

Overall great demo so far.

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I just finished reading the demo and oh my gosh, it’s so great. The atmosphere and the writing is amazing ! I’m truly a fan of darker storylines and this one definitely falls into the category !

Also, I really love the little elements you’ve added, such as the Bible verses every now and then, which really add to the overall aesthetic of this work !

I’m definitely interested and I can’t wait to read the rest of your work ! Keep going :slight_smile:

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