[WIP] Memoir of Smoke and Mirrors (Update 05/23/20)

Heya! I’m Nox (or Brydjette, but Nox is easier, yeah?)

I’ve been lurking in the forums for a while, even before I made an account for myself, and I’ve also been a fan of CoG & HG for years. Writing an interactive novel has been on my to-do list since I got hooked on CoG but never really had the time or motivation—until now! And so here we are.

Memoir of Smoke and Mirrors is my WIP title as of right now. Mythologies and folklores have always been fascinating to me and so for my very first (and very much work in progress) interactive novel I’ve decided to work with that as a huge element in my work.

Blurb and Game WIP

Uncover the truth, save your bakeshop, reconcile with self-exiled gods, and find love along the way!

Eidnyr is a land where True Names are power; where gods have once walked with mortals, and the evidence of their existence is everywhere—from powerful Relics wielded by Archons to divine descendants called Heroes! In this place where godly wonders are the norm, you’re just a humble baker trying to make ends meet. Aren’t you?

All your life you’ve lived in Rivercliff, a peaceful, quaint little town—or so you thought it was, until the International Guild of Supernatural Enforcers came to pay a not-so-friendly visit. Your quiet life is suddenly turned upside down when you hear the news firsthand, after a rogue Hero wreaks havoc in your bakery: there’s a serial killer hiding in your midst—and it can be anyone. A friend, a neighbor, a customer…

As if that isn’t enough, strange people begin to appear to you—on sidewalks, on hilltops, even in your own bakeshop! But with the end of the Thousand Years Exodus, are they really just peculiar strangers or are they actually something more? Something…less human. And why do they even appear to you in the first place? What part will you play in their homecoming?

Thrown into chaos you’ve never dared imagine before, will you help the Archons and Heroes suddenly stomping about town? Or will you try to ignore them and focus on your business despite the threat? Will you welcome the gods with open arms? Or will you try your best to banish them once again? Amidst all this, life has to go on and with it may come a romance of a lifetime. Will you pursue it? Or will you be content with solitude?

And perhaps along the way you’ll realize that nothing—and no one—you know is as simple as it seems…

Game WIP here: Memoir of Smoke and Mirrors
C’s Extra here: C’s BTS
M’s Extra here: M’s BTS

Features
  • Play as male, female, or non-binary; straight, gay, or bi

  • Nowhere is safe with a serial criminal on the loose. Uncover the mystery behind their identity—a truth that might surprise even you

  • Be everyone’s friend, earn people’s trust, and use their True Names for good—or reveal yourself as a wolf in sheep’s clothing and use them for your own gains instead

  • There are still Relics hidden from the Guild. Discover one and experience great power—or relinquish it

  • Start on rocky terms with the Supernatural Police. Help the Guild, make them pay the repairs for your shop, or hinder their investigation

  • The end of the Thousand Years Exodus is on the horizon. Be one of those who welcome the gods back—or shun them

  • Find love with a Guild agent, your best friend, your employee, or a customer…or perhaps your heart lies somewhere else

  • Experience the story with an interactive narrator or completely ignore him. Who knows, perhaps you’ll manage to find out the truth about his identity as well, hm?

ROs

There are 5 ROs in total. For three of them you can decide the gender. The other two are genderlocked males. I have traditional media illustrations for the first four ROs. All of them are male.
EDIT: Female versions are on Post #84

He/she’s your best friend. You two live together in an apartment. He/she’s grumpy but with a soft spot for you. His/her snark gets him/her in trouble sometimes though. Right now he/she attends a nearby university for a Master’s Degree. He/she spends a lot of free time at your bakery. He/she has sea green eyes and black hair in a short, messy ponytail. His/her cheeks have hidden dimples. If only his/her face wasn’t set in a semi-permanent scowl.

He/she’s absolutely sweet and charming, if at times timid. As a baker in your shop, he/she’s a diligent worker, and innovative when it comes to new recipes. He/she has wavy bright red hair and brown eyes. The freckles on his/her pale skin, his/her easy (if a little shy) smile, and soft disposition make him/her utterly charming.

Sexuality locked as mostly heteroromantic asexual (but nb PC romanceable too with high baking)

He/she is quiet and holds a somewhat sad gaze. Most people mistake him/her to be cold and aloof, but you know from experience he/she actually just has a hard time opening up to people. Later on, when you get to know him/her better, you’ll realize he/she has a dry humor and, strangely enough, can even flirt with a straight face. He/she likes to drop by for coffee. He/she is Corbyn/Coryna’s classmate. He/she has light brown hair and gray eyes. Whenever he/she goes to your cafe, he/she’s always wearing buttoned shirts under a vest. There’s a faint white scar on the left side of his/her face.

A bold Guild agent with an air of mystery around him. He’s intelligent and confident. Occasionally cocky. Also likes rhetorics and pastry. Your pastry, anyway. He has dirty blond hair and sharp violet-blue eyes. There’s a beauty mark below his left eye. He always wears a mask to cover the lower half of his face, for reasons unknown to you.

  • ???
    See narrator.

Narrator

It’s not new, having a third party/NPC narrating or participating in active story telling (ex: Waywalkers, anyone? Gods, I love that one) but I wanna try it a little step further? I want a narrator the PC can interact with more, banter with, form a relationship over the course of the story with (and yes, that means romantic, too) He’s actually one of the most fleshed out OCs I have but at this point, I feel like that’s all I can say about him. It is kind of a side objective in MSM to unravel the mystery that is him, if you eventually decide to take that route.

If PC doesn’t choose the voice option from the first set, the italicized thoughts will be assumed by PC to be either their thoughts or emphasized text. He’s not really that careful though and another chance to be revealed will be given later on. Honestly, is he even trying.


I want this project to be lore- and romance-heavy. I’ve always liked worldbuilding (and tend to get invested in it more often than not when writing) plus I love romance! I love CoG/HG that are romance-heavy and I want to make one myself, haha.

To be honest, MSM is originally darker themed (the killer element is actually a remnant of that) but hey, we all need some good vibes, too, especially right now. I plan on expanding this world in and out of MSM so who knows. We have a shady organization in the mix already. And while I want the plot to be relatively simple (hence the light-hearted approach) I want to focus on worldbuilding and character relationships too (between the PC and ROs and NPCs, and NPC-NPC, too).

Anyways, thank you for reading all that! I hope you enjoy playing with what I have right now. I know it’s really short but I’ll be updating it as I go delve into it further, preferably weekly.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! I cry easily though so please be gentle LMFAO

Oh, and English isn’t my first language so if there’s any grammatical error (and I know there will be) that you find, please do tell!


FAQ
ChangeLog
  • 04/22/20
    •Rivercliff is now a town.

  • 04/24/20
    •Changed parts of the character generation scene.
    •Added more scenes, including a changing of outfit scene.
    •Second RO and NPC introductions.

  • 04/28/20
    •Added an as-of-now-incomprehensible scene of foreshadowing with the subtlety of a brick wall slapping you.
    •Added Flirt scene for Micah/Mirah.
    •Added short character exposition for NPC Strathclyde.
    •Stats Description now available.
    •Changed Personality Stats.

  • 05/10/20
    •Illustrations for the ROs’ female versions.
    •Illustration for an unmasked Aleister.
    •Sexuality locked Micah/Mirah. M is straight so the baker will appear as PC’s opposite gender unless non-binary.
    •Added an extra scene for C.

  • 05/23/20
    •Added a short sexuality scene. Not about PC being straight, gay, or bi, but whether PC is ace, demi, or allo.
    •Added an alternative pre-bakery scene aside from the creepy old lady and her ball of yarn and with a slightly different exposition.
    •Changed secondary NPC’s name to Benedict.
    •Changed an opposed_pair stat name.
    •Improvements to the narrative.
    •More choices that will matter in the long run.
    •Added skin tone choice.
    •Revised the blurb with more details now.
    •Added an extra scene for M.

Word Count
  • Chapter One: 22k

:herb:

302 Likes

I honestly not good at making reviews because English is not my primary language but i can say i enjoy the demo and congratulation for your first wip

2 Likes

Thank you :sob: I’m so glad to hear that!!

2 Likes

I enjoyed this so far! Some small grammatical things but nothing super distracting! The interactions with Coryna are so great!!

2 Likes

Short so far, but what was there was really good! I really enjoyed the story and the premise seems great. I think the idea of an interactive narrator is really cool and I love the idea! (If only the gender of the narrator was changeable :grin::grin:). I wish you the best of luck in writing this amazing story!! Btw I love the artwork you have!
One quick note, when I was talking with Coryna (love her) I went to the characters screen in the stats screen and I got this error


But I assume that is because the characters screen isn’t built yet? Probably not an issue at all. Anyways good luck!!!

1 Like

Thank you for checking it out! I’m so happy you like it :sob::sob:

I can’t wait to draw the girls now! It’s really awesome you like that twerp. And who knows, maybe the narrator can be changeable too in the future :wink:

And thanks! I have to fix that. I think it’s still my old choicescript.txt in there smh me

3 Likes

What an exciting premise! I really like your game description and I’ll be keeping an eye out for more! :eyes: I’m a total sucker for the grumpy types but I have to meet the other ROs to decide who has my heart lol. I love the world-building so far as well, the concept of the Thousand Year Exodus in what seems to be a modern and contemporary world is beyond cool! Very interesting and unique project, I can’t wait to read more and leave more feedback then! :grin:

9 Likes

Thank you! That makes me more excited in doing this project, heheh :grin: I love the grumps too lol the others have some catching up to do I’m really glad you find the premise interesting!!

2 Likes

Congratulations on posting your wip! I found some typos (screenshots below), good job and good luck :slight_smile:

typos/grammar

3 Likes

Honestly, you could’ve fooled me. I mean, your English is very good. I didn’t notice any grammatical errors, although I’m not the best at it myself (despite English being my first language😅). There’s not enough for me to make any real suggestion, I just ask that you make sure that there’s plenty of joke’s the PC can make. I LOVE being the jokster!

2 Likes

gasps
The game is sooo good! You should be proud! ^^

4 Likes

Thank you! Fixed them ^^/

1 Like

Thanks! I just read a lot and learned that way heheh and I’ll keep that in mind!

This seems really interesting. I’ll keep an eye out on it for updates for sure :3 Just a note though, when the topic of sharing the toast comes up, there’s a mix in the pronouns (I picked the female version of the roomie), and it says his.

2 Likes

You had me on interactive narrator.

8 Likes

I didn’t see anywhere mentions a TV or a news besides here or maybe I’m just being dumb, so his concern sure feels out of nowhere on a different level…

2 Likes

@Cyphr
Got it! Thank you ^^ pronouns slip a lot past me when I write

@everything-in-ordis
It was mentioned during the opening for Chap 1 ^~^!

here

:grinning:

1 Like

but still nowhere mentioned why the MC should be careful, or…

Oh,

so this line is meant to be the reason? but, still, why? just my suggestion though, maybe you could explain in game why this situation should bring up the mc’s attention, because there seems the mc is too busy teasing the roommate to consider the assumed serious issue.

1 Like

Ah, I see. Well, with the line “Where they are, there’s bound to be trouble.”, I was trying to imply there’s danger out there. But since the setting established in the blurb and in some part of the WIP is a peaceful city where barely anything happens, the PC displays a sort of detachment from the news. And I don’t want to put an explanation about the Guild there since it feels like a digression. It’s a moment between the PC and bestfriend, after all.

That being said, don’t worry! The Guild will be given its spotlight, including the why’s and how’s (hopefully). I’m going to focus on worldbuilding for this one too, and I want to make sure things are in the right places as much as possible, yanno? Aside from that, since it’s still a huge WIP and it’ll be a while before the PC encounters the Guild, I’ve prepared a Glossary in the Stats screen for important terms and concepts!

6 Likes

Very cool, I like it. I’m looking forward to your progress.

1 Like