# \[WIP\] Mantle: Mask on (Character-driven superhero story) \[375,000+ words\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Works In Progress\ **Tags:** nonbinary-inclusive, gender-choice, super-powers, young-adult-fiction\ **Created:** [August 1, 2025, 7:59am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224 "2025-08-01T07:59:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lilachu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6a8cbe/32.png) [@lilachu](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/lilachu)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 5:04am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/23 "2025-08-02T05:04:38Z")
I love it! Good old superhero origin story! can’t wait to see how the story (and romance) develop! ---
**Author:** ![Aeternitas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/aeternitas/32/193452_2.png) [@Aeternitas](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Aeternitas)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 5:29am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/24 "2025-08-02T05:29:54Z")
This is a great start! I love the wit and pacing so far. Bee is so sweet, but seems to be carrying a burden on her shoulders that she’s not willing to share just yet. And Tilly seems to be quite standoffish and cold, but certainly a fan of our costumed exploits. I can sense a bit of a Black Cat dichotomy here with a ‘love the hero, not the man’ attitude. Here are some typos in lieu of more conceptual critiques. ![Screenshot_20250801-154004.Chrome (1)](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/original/4X/f/2/1/f215b3d10b68cff02a3699e549d80ddf0d17f407.png) The sentence about Mt. Tavade seems to be a run-on sentence and combines multiple clauses. You’d be better served with something like this: "The Neo-Works is the youngest child, originally just a handful of buildings carrying out mineral extraction from Mt. Tavade. While you can still find pictures of those humble times, it is now an unfolding network (…) ![Screenshot_20250801-152220.Chrome (1)](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/original/4X/5/9/a/59aedb2bd563a330d099afda905b9704eb82f89d.png) Ooh and aah _at_ the lesser spotted (name). ![Screenshot_20250801-151224.Chrome (2)](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/original/4X/c/0/4/c0442fb81efae7fc8eb41531cd39660a38cf772c.png) Postcard is misspelled here with an l at the end. ![Screenshot_20250801-150934.Chrome (1)](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/original/4X/5/7/c/57c051344878a6844a9eab85fea54ff41d91f5e8.png) _step_ is incorrectly capitalized here and _imminent_ is misspelled. ![Screenshot_20250801-145720.Chrome (1)](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/original/4X/a/1/e/a1efda6088625e8ef24c34fe78146fcc32d7ed09.png) _Official_ is misspelled. ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 6:38am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/25 "2025-08-02T06:38:28Z")
Thank you for the review! Pictures are a big help, too. 🙂 I’ll get to fixing those ---
**Author:** ![Frieza](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/frieza/32/133071_2.png) [@Frieza](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Frieza)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 3:26pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/26 "2025-08-02T15:26:58Z")
I haven’t read to the end but this was really interesting and enjoyable. I always love this type when the MC is a vigilante and their alter ego is famous. Love the cast as well! ---
**Author:** ![MaccZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/maccz/32/257348_2.png) [@MaccZ](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaccZ)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 5:11pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/27 "2025-08-02T17:11:34Z")
Loving the entirety of the story already! All the supporting cast of characters I’m already loving and I’m switching personalities for when I’m being the vigilante and when I’m not. There’s already so much you’ve written and I’m living for it! I’ll be sure to keep a close eye on this story!!! ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 5:29pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/28 "2025-08-02T17:29:52Z")
Thank you so much! 🤍 Getting the characters right was a priority, so it’s great you enjoyed them 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lonily](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/lonily/32/188820_2.png) [@Lonily](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Lonily)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 7:14pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/29 "2025-08-02T19:14:33Z")
Loving the so far especially with the vigilante activities slight error is when I click the surname ‘Wright’ it changes to ‘Hall’ almost thought I was misclicked or something. ---
**Author:** ![Gapaot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/gapaot/32/139181_2.png) [@Gapaot](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Gapaot)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 7:31pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/30 "2025-08-02T19:31:32Z")
![image](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/original/4X/8/1/f/81fcc0e1323b734497b49d32b36d3e9f3a9f0bfb.png) > from > I think its ‘from him’ ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 7:32pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/31 "2025-08-02T19:32:52Z")
I copy-pasted the “Hall” code and forget to change it 😅 Should be fixed now! ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 7:34pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/32 "2025-08-02T19:34:52Z")
Thank you for the picture! Should be fixed 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![idonotlikeusernames](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/idonotlikeusernames/32/5993_2.png) [@idonotlikeusernames](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/idonotlikeusernames)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2025, 11:09pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/33 "2025-08-02T23:09:07Z")
Several instances where the game defaults to female for the ro’s, taking me out of my gay immersion. Otherwise a great start. Will be watching this one. ---
**Author:** ![Quantum\_Nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@Quantum\_Nyx](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Quantum_Nyx)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 12:30am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/34 "2025-08-03T00:30:23Z")
This is so good, I’ve been wanting more superhero/vigilante stories. I especially loved the witty options you gave ( “Hey, do you guys mind if we take a little timeout? I think one of you accidentally hit me with a car.” Was my favourite line ). Looking forward for an update and your tumblr, once you figure it out. The only thing was that sometimes Teddy’s pronouns were wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Teresa\_Lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/teresa_lee/32/214727_2.png) [@Teresa\_Lee](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Teresa_Lee)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 3:25am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/35 "2025-08-03T03:25:17Z")
Absolute Cinema! This is the first and the most best story I ever read. And everything is written properly.. Its like you are in a movie. Truly fascinating. I love how the scene dialogue between characters. All the ro is perfectly written, but there are some error about pronounce but i love it. I truly love this so much and cant wait for more! Please create a tmblr, discord,or patreon so i could support this.. ---
**Author:** ![Shonda\_Dixon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/shonda_dixon/32/257389_2.png) [@Shonda\_Dixon](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Shonda_Dixon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 7:04am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/36 "2025-08-03T07:04:33Z")
by default,all ros are female,even if u choose male ros they’re still same/shorter than you even if u choose average height ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 7:12am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/37 "2025-08-03T07:12:56Z")
Thank you! Do you have any examples of where the pronouns were wrong? I’d love to bug fix your gay immersion ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 7:14am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/38 "2025-08-03T07:14:01Z")
Thank you! I’ll need to stop procrastinating about the Tumblr lol Do you have any examples for Teddy’s pronouns? ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 7:16am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/39 "2025-08-03T07:16:42Z")
Tumblr soon, fingers crossed! 🙂 I’d really appreciate if you could provide some examples of the pronoun errors ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 7:19am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/40 "2025-08-03T07:19:09Z")
Are you saying the game sets the ROs as female if you pick male interest? For height, two of the ROs are shorter than the average option, and two of them are taller than the average option, I thought that was fair ---
**Author:** ![J.J.Dove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/j.j.dove/32/273481_2.png) [@J.J.Dove](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/J.J.Dove)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 8:14am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/41 "2025-08-03T08:14:46Z")
I don’t know if I can edit the original post—but I’ve made a Tumblr! **[Tumblr Here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jjdove)** 👈 🤍 It probably works too. I’m thinking weekly updates, and I’ll be around for other activity in the interim. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![idonotlikeusernames](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/idonotlikeusernames/32/5993_2.png) [@idonotlikeusernames](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/idonotlikeusernames)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2025, 8:53am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224/42 "2025-08-03T08:53:42Z")
> [@J.J.Dove](#): > > Thank you! > > Do you have any examples of where the pronouns were wrong? I’d love to bug fix your gay immersion I admit I was too engrossed in the story to keep careful tabs but I remember Teddy was called misgendered as female during the kidnapping scene after he’s been rescued and you’re on that roof with him and I think the most jarring example with Bodie was the scene where he renders himself helpless in the bathroom and with both of them there were a couple more instances throughout the game. I’ll probably replay it later in the week and I will be more careful to actually copy paste things like that to the clipboard then. But I do love how Teddy and Bodie are opposites when it comes to liking the mc since Bodie is our best friend in real-life but doesn’t much like mc’s superhero persona, while Teddy is a little simp and probably the president of our superhero persona’s little fanclub but is a real ice prince to the mc in their real-life identity. 😀 > [@J.J.Dove](#): > > I don’t know if I can edit the original post—but I’ve made a Tumblr! Ask the mods to make the OP a wiki then you can edit it whenever you need to. @Bryce_Kaldwin @HarrisPS [Previous page](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224.md?page=1) [Next page](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-mantle-mask-on-character-driven-superhero-story-375-000-words/172224.md?page=3)