(WIP) Just Kiss Me Updated: 05/14/2024 (103k words)

Hello! I’m Lucky, and I’m happy to share the demo of my WIP, Just Kiss Me. It is NOW 103k words long and contains the prologue as well as the first chapter, which are finally finished revision. happy sigh

I posted about some of the revisions I did at the bottom of this page, using y’alls feedback to the best of my ability. Let me know what you think! :smiley:

Synopsis:
After living your entire life on the west coast, your parents, struggling financially, decide that a move to the opposite coast is the only way to a more affordable life. That’s how you find yourself in sleepy South Carolina for your senior year of high school, forced to leave behind everything you know to start your most pivotal year of high school in a completely new place. Not only that, but, after receiving a generous scholarship, turns out you will be attending St. Augustine, a private school filled to the brim with kids who have more money than you could ever comprehend.

Your first day of school is rough. And it only gets worse when you accidentally kiss the richest kid in school and swap bodies.

Wait, what?

Characters

Alistair/Audrey Sawyer: the rich, preppy kid you have the misfortune of accidentally smooching. This one mistake leaves the two of you intertwined, for better or for worse. And it’s looking like for worse.

Klaus/Kristina Berg: a friendly, cheerful student who is eager to please others and is always willing to lend a helping hand. He/she can often be found reading a nauseatingly cheesy romance book.

Ebony/Evan Jefferson: the insanely attractive student council president who has a reputation of being a bit of a heart-breaker. Prides his/herself on knowing every student who walks through the school’s doors. He/she seem to have taken an interest in you.

Darcy: a whimsical girl with a keen interest in the supernatural and a killer part-time job. Her “research” is the reason you’re a part of this mess. Thus, she’s the de facto leader of your group.

Reba: she’s crazy. But you’ll figure that out soon enough.

Features
  • Swap bodies with your greatest nightmare
  • Join an investigative team dedicated to figuring out the purpose of the school’s mysterious arch
  • Attend a prestigious high school with the fanciest cafeteria you have ever eaten at
  • A choice system that focuses on developing the protagonist’s personality
  • Form strong friendships with your peers, or even romance!
  • Influence others by identifying your strongest traits and utilizing them to your advantage
  • Sleuth out others who have similar powers to you (well, you’re kind of forced to do this one)
Update Log
  • First update: 06/26/2023 (71k)
  • Second update: 05/14/2024 (103k)

Please, reply to this topic with any feedback, criticism, things you liked/disliked, etc. I am not new to coding, and I have attempted to make ChoiceScript novels in the past, but I am definitely no pro, so if you encounter any errors I apologize and please let me know! I hope that you all enjoy!

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/13862

This game was loosely inspired by the anime Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo

551 Likes

This premise looks like the kind of thing I love. Best of luck with your writing journey!

13 Likes

Hi, already half way onto the wip but let me get this straight what this wip all about? Is it Love? Supernatural or super-power ability?

And the save system is probably error.

1 Like

I love the premise of your story! So far so good keep up the good work, good luck for your WIP! :heart: The only problem is the save system i hope u can fix that on your next update

2 Likes

This is pretty interesting and there’s some funny moments. I 100% do not trust Darcy though.

8 Likes

South Carolina.

Elite Private School.

Fish out of water.

Im having my lawyer look into how you found out my life story.

25 Likes

This whole game was cute as heck! The characters were so fun to interact with and ngl i did have a soft spot for A. They made me snicker too many times to count

8 Likes

I literally genuinely love this🫶🏽

2 Likes

Ok, so, this needs to blow up. There are a couple things about this that could be tweaked like, somewhat more agency, but it’s more about the plot and I get it. I can tell there’s more than meets the eye with this.

I already love it. I hope people find this and get a new obsession too. There’s a lot of potential in this and I can’t wait to see more.

Also the save slots are broken on my end, just thought that’d be important-

9 Likes

Slice of life supernatural story that starts with smooching the best girl? Inject every bit of it into my veins.

10 Likes

Tbh I feel like I’m getting dragged around and forced to do whatever people want, mainly Darcy. I do like this but I think we need more agency and options to say no especially to the forced to kiss A to switch bodies stuff.

23 Likes

This story is so cute!
Love it

2 Likes

I really enjoyed reading your story. The anime-like setting was great and honestly quite a breath of fresh air here on the forum. Also I really liked Audrey with her Tsundere Personality. She was suprisingly cute.

Also, even if the story is a little linear so far I honestly don’t mind. It helps to keep the plot running and actually makes the overall story more anime-like. So nothing to complain there.

Well, anyway I honestly can’t wait to read more of your story. Keep up the good work and best of luck.

15 Likes

This was a fun story to read. I don’t mind the linear story, honestly a linear story is not a bad thing if the ride itself is fun. Just wish a few less skips to the next main plot points. Like how is our character adjusting? Do they like the town or have they looked around it? Have there been any other students that were mean or nice or are we still mostly being ignored? I played with the athletic scholarship so I’m hoping there will be moments with that. Will the team be mean, nice, or dismissive, or a mixture? Plus love all the characters so far! Anyways looking forward to more of this I had fun! :3

22 Likes

Ugh, moving your senior year of high school is the worst! I did that for the 2020-2021 school year, and it sucked. And it was way bigger than my old school, so I knew basically no one by the time I graduated. (The MC thinking 100 kids per grade is small… if I hadn’t moved, I’d be 1 of 20 graduates)

I’m in the middle of reading, but I thought I’d mention something. When we pick the gender of the kid we eventually swap into, I think it could be way clearer that this isn’t an RO, but our freaky Friday friend

1 Like

Ah, such a cliffhanger! I was having fun at the football game. All the characters seem well written and now I can’t decide between A and E, or maybe even go for K? Hopefully, there will be a lot of opportunities to spend more time with the ROs before I can decide whom to pursue.

4 Likes

I think A is a romance though.

It’s a lot of fun so far (prologue & chap 1) and, for me at least, has just the right amount of active characters to give me a feeling of variety without making it a chore to remember them all.

It’s also clear to me that the arch is a charging thermonuclear device and that the story is about to take a sharp turn into grim post-apocalyptic survival fiction.

4 Likes

Oi there @Lucky42


Unknown Sawyer?

1 Like

Alistair/Audrey is still addressed as unknown on the game. And also you should add saves to the game.