WiP: Invicto (Updated on 08/29/2021)

Poll:

Hey guys, so I’m working full time as well as trying to balance social outings, health, grad school applications and life in general, which is to say, finding time to work on these games is pretty difficult. However, I’d love to go in depth discussions about the world/characters (with reservations about spoilers) on a tumblr page and/or discord. Ofc, I’d want to know if there would be interest in either of these channels, so lmk in the poll below!

Would you personally be interested in following an Invicto-themed…

  • …a tumblr page?
  • …a discord channel?

0 voters

Hello, my name is Whale. :3 I’m a huge fan of Interactive Fiction and the IF community, and I’m really excited to try to present the WIP that I’ve been writing for a while now.

Right now, I have about two chapters finished, with several distinct branches for each chapter. I will update as frequently as possible, though my schedule is a little irregular. Right now, the plan is updates at least every other week.

In terms of genre, I would say this story is a blend of dark fantasy and low fantasy.

Blurb: Your childhood friend crashes your Halloween celebrations. Your childhood friend, who is supposed to be dead. Your childhood friend, who claims that she’s seen things greater than your wildest nightmares, and that she wants you in on the secret, too.

ABOUT GAME:

Synopsis:

Summary

You are a bright young adult who runs into a peculiar misfortune: your best friend turns out to be the lost heir to another realm. When she reclaims her past, you end up getting dragged along for the ride, and find yourself a stranger in a very strange land: the mysterious “Leivy”, an isolated city nestled in the undersea abyss, that survives purely on the beneficence of a serpent god known as the Leviasun.

Everyone who knows about the Leivy knows the Leviasun, and everyone who knows the Leviasun loves, praises, and worships the Leviasun. Everyone except, perhaps, you.

Features:

Summary
  • Play as male, female, or nonbinary.
  • Become acquainted with the people of the Leivy, and attempt to unfurl a past that is unknown even to its most esteemed citizens.
  • Use your knowledge of the Leivy and freedom of choice to undermine it, defend it, or work with its enemies.
  • Up to six RO options are available; all are playersexual.
  • Choose a skillset and lifestyle in the modern world that will aid you in your dealings with the Leivyans.
  • Explore your own hometown’s secrets and learn how they connect to the Leivy itself.
  • Attempt to resist the allure of the Leviasun, or don’t resist at all; either choice opens up a new road of possibilities.

Characters

Summary

Player Character:

MC: Can be male, female, or non-binary. A foster child whose foster sister went missing and was presumed dead five years ago. Their life since then has been spent coping with grief and uncertainty, though their reaction to her reappearance is up to you to decide. Possessing no intrinsic ties to the new world they’re about to become acquainted with, their status as an outsider could be a blessing or a curse.

Specific ROs:

Caroline Alkaya/Crown Princess Afrodite Leviasun: A former “wildchild” and the MC’s best friend and foster sister (of about a year). When we meet her as a teenager, she’s a run-of-the-mill rebel and attention seeker, though as a young adult she’s revered as heir to a mysterious, fantastical monarchy.

Princess Helga Leviasun: The younger half-sister of Afrodite, and the former heir to the Leivyan throne before Afrodite’s arrival. Though she has been displaced from her heirship, Helga remains an unfailingly sweet and hardworking young woman, with a strong sense of filial piety and duty to her people.

Fidelis Mariamsun: Afrodite’s personal bodyguard who puts her safety and happiness before anyone else’s. He’s serious and stand-offish to many people, especially the MC. Unusually for someone in his society, he is blind in his right eye.

Anu Mariamsun: Fidelis’s twin brother and an aspiring scholar with a strong fascination in the cultures of the continental planes (aka, your realm). His impulsiveness and extroversion underlies his true level of intellect.

Shiloh Sofiasun: A personal advisor to the Monarch of the Leivy, Queen Ishtah Leviasun. Shiloh is exceedingly competent, polite, and gracious, but is disliked by many of the other protagonists
for reasons initially unknown to the MC. Their gender is determined by the player, but they can be male, female, or nonbinary.

All are playersexual.

Other Characters:

Reigning Monarch, Queen Ishtah Leviasun: The politically active grandmother of Helga and Afrodite, and the mother to a deceased son named Ahmunn. Ishtah has a strong prejudice against humans from the continental realm, which makes her less than thrilled about her granddaughter’s attachment to one.

Prince Neifion Leviasun: The late brother of Queen Ishtah. Not much is known about him, although the player first has the ability to experience the Leivy through Neifion’s perspective.

Mary Szasz: Mary was a young woman who was imprisoned in and later disappeared from the Yarnfaire Oceanside Center for Hysteriacs in approximately 1924. Her fate, lost to history, has been sensationalized since then by coming generations of Yarnfaire inhabitants. (Her surname is a shout-out of sorts to the psychiatrist/advocate Thomas Szasz, who spoke against the sort of coercive treatments that Mary and other YOCH patients experience in the story.)

Mila Gonzalez: A Sophomore who briefly dated Caroline and was there on the night of her disappearance.

Isabella: An enigmatic and exceedingly peculiar young woman who was almost definitely involved in the disappearance of Caroline Alkaya on October 31st, 2015.

The Boy: The first character the player speaks to, who seems intent on understanding what they want out of him. While he looks young, he is clearly far wiser and more powerful than he appears.

Trigger Warnings:

Summary

It has some adult themes, including allusions to emotional abuse and sexual abuse, violence, mental health problems, misogyny, and non-explicit sexual themes.

None of these themes are explicit and none of them will take up very much game time, but they exist in the backstories of certain characters.

Player’s Roles:

Authors thrive on feedback and commentary! Please let me know if you have any concerns with:

  • The pacing of the story
  • Confusing plot points or confusing lines and dialogue
  • Any dissatisfaction with MC’s handling-- are they customizable enough, and do you feel like you are given the freedom to create a complex, interesting protagonist?
  • Bugs-- inconsistencies, typos, or points where the game won’t run.

Every bit of commentary is super valuable to authors, so lmk if you have any questions, comments, or things to say!

DEMO LINK: Invicto (dashingdon.com)

Update 08/03/2021:

Summary

Due to a few recent circumstances, I have updated this WIP with the following changes:

  • I’ve done some simple readjustments of grammar, spelling, and made the character customization section of the initial story a bit more clear. (For example, several players pointed out that it is not obvious that the player needs to put in their first and last names separately, and the option that selected MC’s gender didn’t read like a gender selection option to everyone.)
  • I’ve also updated part of the third chapter-- Peccatum Originale-- with the intention of fully completing the chapter and updating with the complete version ASAP. Given the preferences expressed in the poll, I think I will stick to updating after every chapter is completed after this update though.

Update 08/20/2021:

Summary

Hi guys! I’ve finally updated with a new 35k chapter (whoo-- that was a lot!)
Admission: I included a stats check for this chapter, after having added the stats retroactively last chapter-- the beginning of chapter 3 will ask you which stat boost you would like your character to add. I’m sorry for this mistake!

This chapter contains a lot of differing branches and options, which makes it a little difficult to keep track of-- so please let me know any of the following:

  • Are there times when your character is only given one single choice rather than several (at least visible) options?
  • Does the plotline in this chapter move too quickly or too slowly?
  • Does the characterization and writing feel decent, or need some work?
  • Any other comments or concerns!
  • And of course, any points where the game freezes and I need to zap some bugs?

Next chapter, if all goes as planned, will take place mostly in the main time zone-- five years later.

Update 08/29/2021:

Summary

This was a brief update, but I tried to fix some bugs which I’m still a bit baffled by in CSide ChoiceScript, rewrote a few scenes and tried to fix what I perceived to be problems with pacing depending on which options the player chooses. This chapter was supposed to have had more of an “open sandbox and place exploration” feel, which is harder to pace!

275 Likes

Hmm, a guy that actually done some works before making a thread, medium rare

22 Likes

Love the story so far. I do have one question however. Will there be romance in it?

5 Likes

Don’t worry. I just read the characters section :joy:

1 Like

Looks intriguing so far. The very beginning of the story is slightly confusing, but I didn’t have any problems with following the rest, and the fact that I’m not sure what led to the prologue stopped bothering me very quickly.

As for characters:

  • foster sister is rather likeable,
  • the boy is creepy, but I’m pretty sure that’s the intention.

I’m not a fan of detailed customisation , so what we have so far was perfect for me. It wasn’t too much, just enough to imagine the MC.

I haven’t noticed any spelling or grammar errors, and the text was flowing smoothly.

There are, however, some minor things that slightly bothered me:

  • The dialogue option that allows players to choose their character’s gender. It’s cleverly done, but for a moment I was confused who is the speaker: MC or Caroline?
  • I noticed that, at least for now, the stats are mostly just for the sake of being there, and there are IIRC 3 instances where players can raise them. That means that most of choices can be seen as fake ones, since they influence neither personality stats nor relationship with Caroline. I’m well aware that it’s just a prologue for now, but tbh I was surprised that stats are frozen for so long. Which brings another question - is stats page a work in progress? Will we get, for example, a relationships bar?
  • The choice between learning about MCs friends or foes leads to a slightly confusing and very long flashback if we choose the foes option. In comparison, talking about friends leads to a very short passage. The fact that by choosing to learn about friends I missed (in comparison) a pretty large flashback surprised me during the second replay.

All of the above are rather small complains that didn’t negatively change my initial good impression. Overall, it was a very interesting read and I’m looking forward to learn more about the world and characters.

14 Likes

i am three pages into the story and already do i want to fist fight the boy. would obviously die sure but kinda worth it. being bossed around and threatened annoys me so much haha

edit: this feels like a fever dream but i vaguely remember a wip having resemblance to yours in terms with the premise of sister is dead but surprise she isnt. i even kinda remember a scene where the mc is on top of the cliff and was eating their fav chocolate bar

this is so good already. definitely going to be looking out for updates to this

4 Likes

Nice demo! I am intrigued.

Btw, there are some pronouns mixed up. I play as a female mc but in the part after the crash and the sister is talking to the mom, they referred to my mc as he/him. :slight_smile:

1 Like

Huh, that’s strange because I specifically looked at those parts to make sure they lined up. Is it the eavesdropping scene?

3 Likes

sounds like you stumbled across my old version lol. I retouched a few things to make the emotional hook more real and give the characters a bit more “vibrance” before segwaying into the main plot. Then I decided that if I stayed in the past a bit longer I could lay a few more foundations… I can’t promise that many of the old scenes will be the same, though I keep them on hand in case. :slight_smile:

3 Likes

there seems to be an issue when choosing to raise your weapon at the boy? (that sounds horrible out of context :sweat_smile:) choosing that option makes the game stuck, i had to reload the tab to get it working again

1 Like

This is already one of my favorites! Can’t wait for the next update :smiley:

1 Like

Thank you for the catch! I just fixed it.

2 Likes

Well…I don’t usually make comments, but this may be one of the best new WIPs I’ve seen. I’ll be following this with great interest.

3 Likes

Noooo! Ending the demo at the very interesting moment :sob: Super interesting game, you got me curious. Good luck :+1:

3 Likes

This seems really cool so far! I can’t wait till we learn more! :3
As for other stuff…height and/or background would be pretty nice to have added but don’t if it would be to much a strain :3

1 Like

Thanks for sharing! Can you specify what yo mean by background options?

2 Likes

Background Options was one of the choices listed at the end of the demo? I guessed it meant maybe going more into how MC acted in their past foster homes?

3 Likes

Yeah, it is :v:

Wait wait wait, your name is Whale?? That’s awesome. Is that your legal name? Is there a story as to how your parents decided that? : 3

1 Like

My real name isn’t Whale haha. It’s my username for my discord and a few other places. Didn’t make that super clear XD

6 Likes