[WIP] Invaders [Updated 09/17]


#10

@Julian.Hansen

what I found
  • the duo was able to refit an energy rifle. These two engineering feats have greatky improved the Agents’ rate of survival.

greatly


  • the Rule of Squad: "Each squad is to be composed of 2 to five 5.

I don’t think five is necessary considering there already 5


I like this so far, my question is are mc best friend also in WRO? or at least survive?


#11

Hello again everyone.

Sory it took me this long to post anything, I didn’t want to bump this thread without having any new updates.

First of all, let me thank all of you who have shown me your support and your feedback!
I’ve tried to correct everything that was listed in here, plus whatever I found on my own, but I’m bound to let stuff slip past me every now and then, so I apologize in advance for any errors/mistakes.

So, here’s where we stand right now:

Stats Screen: 90% done. I still have to add some minor info, byt the background story is all there now.
Prologue: 100% done
Chapter 1 85% done.

I don’t know if the word count should include the coding, but so far I have just above 11.5k written down.

One thing that I’ve noticed is that whenever I upload the game to DashingDon, the statscreen gets all messed up, I’ll have to look into it later.

@Alexandra
Thanks! I’m trying to make your choices as relevant as possible, so whenever I can I sneak something that is unique to your job, etc.
I’ve fixed the things you wrote about!

@SabrinadizaLS
Answering your question, it all depends on you. There will be a scene where your best friend is going to die, but you can save him. If he stays alive he will be part of your Squad. Thanks for feedback, btw! =D

And last but not least, thanks a bunch @DUNGEON_MASTER for helping me out with the Stats Screen and in general! You’ve been a great help!

I guess that’s all for now.
Hopefully I’ll be able to start Chapter 2 by the time the next update rolls in.


#12

Found a bug, and with a quick look at your code, found the source! (I actually made the exact same mistake in my game, so it was an easy guess).
“female” can’t be capitalized here (you set it lowercase earlier), otherwise the code skips the name option for female characters, and your friend just calls “UNKNOWN!”

*if(gender="Female")
  *choice
    #Triss.
      *set given_name "Triss"
      *goto naming_done
    #Sophia.
      *set given_name "Sophia"
      *goto naming_done
    #Liza.
      *set given_name "Liza"
      *goto naming_done
    #Carol.
      *set given_name "Carol"
      *goto naming_done
    #I want to write my own name.
      *label setting_name
      And what is your name?
      *input_text given_name
      So, your name is $!{given_name}, right?
      *choice
        #Yes, that's my name.
          *set given_name "$!{given_name}"
          *goto naming_done
        #No, that's not my name.
          *goto setting_name

#13

This is pretty good so far, but there were a couple of things that I noticed that might need to be fixed;

Screenshot_2017-09-12-20-14-01-1

This is the first one I noticed. As you can see, it looks like the sentence is cut off a bit.


#14

Alright, just letting you guys know that thanks to @DUNGEON_MASTER (seriously, they have been a huge help ever since I began this project) I was able to fix the Stat Screen problem and, since I was already working on it, I’ve fixed the issues @VioletHikari and @Alexandra have pointed out.

The new link is in the first post.
Thanks a lot everyone!


#15

This just popped up


#16

Now there’s a debilitating bug at the end of the prologue that won’t let you play at all. “Increasing indent not allowed, expected 0 was 2.”


#17

Ok, I feel like I owe you all an apology

I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow my entire file got an increase in indentation.
I’m sorry it took me this long to fix it, but with work and everything, my free time is not that plentiful.

Anyway, it should be working fine now.
Thanks!


#18

Looks promising! I like all the information in the stats, it helps build backstory and it’s interesting. Especially the types of aliens!


#19

Extremely excited to see where this goes. Your writing style is drawing a pretty nice picture. Keep up the good work!


#20

Hi everyone!

I’ve got a major update for you today. I’ve finally finished the second chapter! :slight_smile:
Now, there are some things I’d like to clear up:

It is possible for you to die. I like to think I’ve made the death situations pretty self-explanatory, so you’d understand why you ended up dead.

And second, it is possible either to save your bf or to let them die. This is the first major choice you make in the game, and it will end up affecting the whole story later on, together with other choices.

So, I guess that’s that for now. Any thoughts, impressions, suggestions? I’d greatly appreciate any and every kind of feedback you might offer.

@cottoncandy Thanks! I really wanted the reader to understand exactly what is going on in the story!

@AnthonyGiovannini Thanks, really! I often wonder if my writing style is good enough, since this is the first real story I write, so it’s a relief to hear that. :smiley:

Thanks everyone!


#21

@Julian.Hansen

what I found

There this error when I try to save



Is “:” supposed to be there?


  • Having found your exit, you turn back, and notice that the trek, wich seemed to take forever to you, isn’t longer than 1.5m long.

which


  • he gives a wry, sardonic laugh, something completelly uncharateristic of him and stand up straighter.

completely


  • What would usually look like a short trip now terrorizes you, although you do your best not to show it. Chris has just calmed heself a bit and you don’t want to trigger another panic attack.

himself


  • You just have to cross the avenue, maybe if you return to the last intersection and go down, returning to the Avenue at a lower point, you can cross it without being seen.

I don’t think Avenue should be capitalized, but I could be wrong.


Rushing away from her, you hide yourself behind a car across the street. It’s not the most hidden spot in the world, but considering that Chris is too out of touch with reality to even notice you are gone and that soon enough he will become the target of their attention, you’d say it will do for now.

him, best friend gender is male in my playthrough.


There might be more though.


#22

image
Himself? My MC’s friend is a guy.


#23

@SabrinadizaLS Thanks for the detailed list of errors! I always try to go through the text whenever I’m finished writing, but I still get a lot of errors by me, I’ll try to do it better next time!

@Umbreonpanda: Thanks, I’ve fixed that!


#24

It’s a problem face by many people as they read what they thought they wrote instead of what they actually wrote so find a guy to read your stories before posting them if you want to post a cleaner demo or just leave this to the community as they will try to help if they could.


#25

@DUNGEON_MASTER Yeah, it’s kinda bothersome. Well, I don’t know many people IRL who could help me with this. If anyone volunteers to help me, I’d be forever grateful. If everyone’s busy with something else, I completely understand and will find some other way to keep the text cleaner. :smile:


#26

Just added a minor update, corrected every grammar mistake I could find.
From tomorrow on I’ll start working on Chapter 3.


#27

Isn’t there way to save the MCs childhood friend if you aren’t a soldier? I want my MC to be good with techs, but I don’t want to abandon the childhood friend. Unfortunately it seems the only way to save him (I made the childhood friend a male) is if my MC is a soldier…


#28

@VioletHikari

Well, the profession you chose doesnt necessarily stop you from saving your friend. The only pre-requisites I set were: you either need to have 25 strength of 15 speed. Besides, if you are tired - meaning you chose to crawl into the tunnel in the collapsed pharmacy by yourself - or if you are too injured - you can get injured two times in this chapter, you can’t avoid the first one as it happens when the Fort Kent gets exploded,
the second one happens if you don’t have any stat high enough to escape the pharmacy - you will fail and end up dying.
When I came up with these requisites, I wanted to make the game as realistic as possible, so sometimes no matter how good you are with technology, you’ll need to have other skills to survive. But then again, I could change that if you feel it’s unfair. What are your thoughts?


#29

Maybe not death but some sort of backlash.

Like waking up at a different point where the situation is messed up.