this is very long, sorry
First things first, I thought it was a bit weird that the choice to change your curse word doesn’t appear at beginning and changing it at the stats page at the beginning of every game is a bit awkward, so if possible, I’d suggest to put it among the first options when picking the MC’s stats.
Now, these are sections that made me a bit confused:
“Going up?” You give her a friendly smile as you step aside. You might as well be polite, there’s no reason for her to dislike you.
Unfortunately it doesn’t look like she needs a reason to be in a bad mood.
“Hanging out with your little friend again?” It’s unclear who she’s talking about, and you can swear that the temperature in the elevator drops two degrees.
“Argent,” Herald sighs. “Do we have to do this every time?”
“As long as it amuses.” Lady Argent focuses on him, which means that her problem is not with you. Good. You don’t mind seeing Herald squirm a little.
“I really wish you’d let this go.” Herald sighs, giving her an awkward look. “I get why you’re angry with me, but do you have to drag it up in front of Chris?”
“I do.” There’s a soft ‘ping’ as the doors open up behind her and she turns away. Whether this is her floor or she’s exiting the awkward conversation you’re not sure
When Lady Argent leaves, it says that there is a ping and that the doors open and that left me extremely confused for a long while, but then I realized that she probably walked in the elevator after MC steps aside. I reread it and I don’t think that it is mentioned at any point that she walked in.
You can’t believe you didn’t notice before; Herald has a crush on you.
The big question is whether it’s a romantic crush, or the kind of puppy hero crush where he’ll just stare at you dreamily, wishing he could be you. Wishing to be with you?
Seriously, replaying you last discussion you’re more and more coming to terms with the fact that it’s probably the last one. He’s become more and more nervous over the last few months, and the way he reacted when you agreed to train him was more akin to someone getting a ‘yes’ when they asked someone out.
This might be just the fact that English is not my first language showing, but it says that “it’s probably the last one” and while technically the last one is “wishing to be with you”, puppy hero crush is the last one to be discussed in detail. At first I understood the last one was referring to “puppy hero crush”, but the rest of the text seems to be referring to romantic crush instead.
“I have to say, you’re not the one I expected to respond to play bodyguard to the mayor’s aide,” you say, your vocal distorters turning your words into Harbinger’s. “Isn’t it a little upscale for you?”
“I don’t like threats, no matter the source.” The Handyman doesn’t exactly shrug, but you can see that he’s trying to crack jokes to steady himself.
“A little.” You mutter the words as you move towards him, cracking your knuckles. “But I’ll make do.”
I don’t know what that answer is referring to, so I’m guessing it’s bleedover from another dialogue.
Right before the fight with Lady Argent this dialogue happens and while two of the answer make perfect sense, the “you know that’s not true” answer has a different meaning than it usually has when it shows up and the “politics?” answer makes a reference to something that hasn’t been said; so I’m guessing that’s also bleedover from other dialogue.
“What happened?” The question is spat out with nervous urgency. “You were a hero, heroes don’t just… give up.” His fists are clenched, and you can sense his determination. Is this really about you, or is it really about… Sidestep?
Of course. Suddenly everything made sense. Herald isn’t worried about you, he is worried about himself. About not carrying his weight on the team. Has he thought about quitting? Like you did?
It makes sense, in a certain twisted way. He still sees you as Sidestep and he didn’t exactly fare too well last time he went up against Sidestep. Not that he appreciates the irony, but he’s still standing there, waiting for answer. You might as well give him one.
I absolutely love having the Villain name be Sidestep. The way it makes everyone uncomfortable… Um, great. But those two moments on the chat with Herald on the rooftop got a bit confusing, especially the first one since he is constantly talking about how MC is still Sidestep to him.
It’s a place that makes you feel that you can actually do this. Become something new. Someone new.
Somehow you sleep better here. Maybe it’s the designer bed.
You’ll have to drop home for a few hours of sleep.
The first time I ran into this bit I didn’t even question it, because it said “Somehow you sleep better here. Maybe it’s the air conditioning”, which just made the scene a bit sad, but you know, considering how MC is, it didn’t particularly stand out that they’d sleep better in their secret base than in their new apartment, but when you pick the most expensive place designer bed appears as the reason why they would sleep better in their base, which just seems weird to me. So… I’m guessing it was supposed to be ‘there’ instead? If it was, it’s just a typo that I otherwise wouldn’t point out, but it sees to change quite a bit the meaning, so I figured better safe than sorry.
You can’t stop the goosebumps appearing when he leans down, kissing the soft skin of your neck.
This shows up when deciding to invite Dr. Mortum to your bed after a long while of flirting. Nothing weird. Except for the fact that the Puppet was on top at the beginning of the same page.
These following sections, however, felt like they were a bit at odds with previous decisions/events:
Are you overthinking? You made it out in on piece, with the Rangers none the wiser. Maybe they foiled your plan, but yoy came off great on camera. A small setback like this won’t ruin your plans, right? Right. So why can’t you get it out of your mind?
Usually this bit is absolutely common, but in one particular playthrough it showed up, MC had just been stabbed over and over by Lady Argent, eventually having to destroy the entire bridge and fall in the waters bellow to run away from her and while it didn’t exactly hurt them too bad, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have “come off great on camera”.
“Shut up and think about what you’re going to eat,” you mutter.
“I am,” comes the instant reply, served with a wink that makes your blush deepen. Shit. You need to change the trajectory of this conversation before it goes off the rails entirely.
“Thanks,” you sat, forcing yourself to stop smiling. “For making me feel better. It’s been a rough night and I’m feeling a bit wretched.”
The “rough night” is a bit out of place when MC has gone to the therapy session, instead of having a nightmare.
“Why? Why does it matter? I’m fine with being forgotten. I’m fine with not mattering.” It’s a lie, but you can’t very well tell the truth.
“Well, I’m not fine with it.” Perhaps he realizes how possessive that sounds. You can see him pull himself back, backing down before it turns into another argument. “I’m sorry.”
“Just don’t try to run my life for me.”
“You have a point.” A moment pass, and then he cracks a grin. “Not a point I’m going to listen to, but a point none the less.”
So this isn’t necessarily wrong. It’s just something that made uncomfortable and that seemed to me at odds with Ortega’s attitude of letting MC make their own decisions and trying to be more conscious of what they want and don’t want. Idk.
“I’m not dangling here because it’s fun.” You don’t put too much force into your displeasure, since Rosie started working for you, you’ve realized how much it helps having a reliable henchman. It puts less pressure on cultivating one-off pawns, and while you still haven’t revealed who you truly are, there is a measure of trust.
Part of you wonder if you would dare to remove the helmet and let people know who you really are. Your telepathy should be able to spot any leaks, but it’s a risk.
Both of these showed up in a game where MC had started a criminal organization and I had picked the option “They know my face and base, we work as team.”
“I figured I’d just breaks in and steal it,” he admits. “How hard can it be?”
“Well, to begin with, you’re not going up against a bank, these people are heavy hitters.” You try to chase the flush from your cheeks. “Even if we can deal with the electronic alarms, there will be guards.”
“We can handle guards,” he protests.
“Even Modded ones? You know they’re not going to have just regular joes guarding expensive things like that.” You sigh. “I’m good, but I’m not good.”
“I was a villain,” he points out, but you can see the doubts sneaking in.
“Over a decade ago. It’s a tough gig, and it’s gotten tougher.”
This is what shows up if MC knows a lot about tech and is planning a hit on the casino because of their criminal organization as an attack against Hollow Ground. And this is what an MC who knows a lot about the underworld regardless of anything else:
“I figure I’d just break in and steal it,” he says with a shrug. “How hard can it be?”
“Well, to begin with, you’re not going up against a bank, these people are heavy hitters.” You don’t bother to hide your groan. “You do know that Hollow Ground is behind that casino, I hope?”
It just seems a bit weird that the dialogue would be so different if MC has the same information on both scenarios. I totally get if you don’t want to change that, though, since the knowledge of Hollow Ground is specific for a streetsmart MC.
The fight was just as good as you thought it would be, and you’ll keep replaying it in your head for a very long time.
Not that it matters – winning is the only thing that does. You feel bad, but you also keep talling yourself there’s no other way. Shit, you wish your life wasn’t this complicated.
Those two phrases seem at odds with each other, especially since it goes from ‘good’ to ‘bad’ so quickly and tries to dismiss how good it felt, because “winning is what matters”.
Closing your eyes hard, you focus on your breathing. Ortega walked you here. Of course. That way you can’t run. He doesn’t trust you to have your best self-interest at heart.
He’s not wrong.
What he is wrong about is the fact that he’s the most important person in your life.
You suppose you can’t blame him for thinking that, you’ve kept up the façade because it’s been useful, but it’s beginning to grate on your nerves.
So… this is a bit complicated. I understand that this bit shows up when there is a relationship with a higher stat than Ortega’s and I swear that I have a reason to put this here other than the fact that I love Ortega but have a tendency to try and flirt with everyone, leading to Herald always having a higher relationship than Ortega despite me. So, in one of the times this showed up to me, despite Ortega not being the highest relationship, I feel he would still be the most important person in MC’s life, since he’s the only they aren’t manipulating (Dr. Mortum is classified as “fake lovers” and Herald as “could be useful”).
Okay, this might be a bit of nickpicking but I figured I’d let you know all the same. These are scenes that are a bit repetitive or awkward:
“Only that?” You hesitate for a moment, giving him a shaky smile before you slowly step back.
“Danny?”
“If you have to.”
“I’ll save it for a special occasion,” you say, giving him a pat on the shoulder before stepping back. “Now hit me.”
MC steps away (and depending on the option taps Herald’s shoulder) twice.
It’s too underhanded to be a Ranger plot, but if she’s working outside the crew there’s no telling what to expect.
Looks like at least someone is willing to think outside the box.
Looks like she’s been doing some hunting on her own. Not that you mind. Not really.
The two “Looks like…” sound repetitive.
All you have to do is nudge that connection. Make him think. Make him hesitate.
You don’t have to do it for long, just long enough for you to close the distance before he’s sorted himself out. Just long enough to slap the gun out of his hand.
“Oh crap!”
“Crap.” The handyman is cradling his hand to his chest as he backs away. It looks broken.
The Handyman says crap twice (I’m not too sure what choices affect this, since it doesn’t happen always. Maybe it’s the terrifying armor or the telepathy?)
It’s all you can do to smile mirthlessly at your phone, pretending to type a reply. You need numbness. You need a break.
You need Eden.
“Just a moment.” You don’t bother to hide your frown as you pretend to type an answer to the message.
MC pretends to types an answer two times, faking different feelings
Okay, so that’s everything for now. Sorry for the length of this, and thank you for your work!
