WIP: Fallen Hero 2: Retribution - updated 27 april 2019 (pre-adult version)

whats a haiku? sound like a fancy drink! :joy:

I was trying to make something about Steel ā€¦and all I got was steel and spoon and a box of cheerios :rofl:

I started one about Lady Argentā€¦butā€¦urghā€¦its too hard XD

test your will , test your might
the nanosurge left its mark
there will always be a spark
for that body hide the shark

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Haikus, in my opinion, are the easiest to work with (especially for beginning poets). Theyā€™re a Japanese form of poetry (three lines; first line has five syllables, second line has seven syllables, and third line has five syllables).

And Spoon and cheerios sounds like the definition of Steel!

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wellā€¦

I usually donā€™t like poetry lol cose its like abstract stuffā€¦booring XD

I just like making words rhymes though :yum:

okā€¦a bit morbideā€¦but here one about Steel .

make the steel weep , make the spoon swoon
take the steel will , take the spoon kill

hide from steel , he cannot know your deal
lie to steel , he will learn to kneel
kill the steel , and your world will heal

here something about Heraldā€¦

he who hold your torch in worship will feel the scorch of dishonor
he who hold your name in reverence will feel itā€™s absence
he who hold your image in lust will fall from disfavor

he whose name is herald
will learn to revive onself
you have to die first
you have to become dust
you have to be the worst
you have to lose the trust

only when you die, you can really breath
only when you die, you can really weep
only when you die, you can really sleep

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I should really write a steel murder story. like i did herald and ortega. any survivors from that? :grinning:

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Update 21 december!

  • No bugs or errors fixed.
  • Last post shrink scene added, you can now go and meet Dr. Mortum if you donā€™t have a frosty or business associate relationship.
  • So tired. Need sleep.

Total word count: 303801
Excluding code :279231

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Awww thanx for the update! plz take care of yourself and get a good rest :hugs:

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NOTE: This update is fking amazing. Mortum is almost alive.

Found these

Summary

Missing verb

[i]ā€œThere are more than one way of lightening a bad mood, ${title}.ā€

ā€œWeā€™ll see,ā€ you canā€™t the smirk. ā€œExpect me within the hour.ā€

[i]ā€œLooking forward to it.ā€ Thereā€™s the faintest sound of a kiss before ${mhe} hangs up on you.

You canā€™t ____ the smirk


And this might be a discrepancy or notā€¦
Happens when Mortum are MC are lovers already
Iā€™m reading and rereading and I think maybe the text in chapter 15 should say Mortum doesnā€™t trust MC around the lab proper, maybe heā€™s only allowed to see the bedroom and kitchen/living space thatā€™s added to the lab but that isnā€™t Mortumā€™s actual home?
Here is it

Chapter 14
label loverstart

Over the last few months, Dr. Mortumā€™s lab have almost become like your second home.
*if puppet_individuality <= 40
No, not your home. {puppet_name}'s. You still haven't chided {mhim} for not showing you {mhis} apartment when you showed {mhim} yours, but you suspect this is far more private. It comes as no surprise that {mhe} spends most of {mhis} time here, at least enough that ${mhe} has a fully furnished bedroom. The bathroom is more industrial than youā€™d like, and whatā€™s in the kitchen is not more than a microwave and a coffee machine, so you subsist mostly on frozen meals when you donā€™t head out for dinner.

The bedroom, however, is comfortable and the bed larger than needed. Have {mhe} brought other people here before? You wonder, you don't get the feeling that this is something {mhe}'s making a habit of.


Chapter 15

*if puppetmortum_relationship = ā€œloversā€
ā€œIs it okay if I drop by? I need to get out of this place.ā€ You need company. A soft touch. A reminder that you are more than the shards of your past life. When ${mhe} touches you, they donā€™t feel quite as sharp.

[i]ā€œOf course. Iā€™ll let the network know you are incoming. Just make sure you donā€™t have any pests hanging around, Iā€™d hate to make a mess. Out there anywayā€¦ā€ the soft chuckle makes you smile despite yourself.

ā€œReally?ā€ you say, trying to be stern. ā€œIs this the time?ā€

[i]ā€œThere are more than one way of lightening a bad mood, ${title}.ā€

ā€œWeā€™ll see,ā€ you canā€™t the smirk. ā€œExpect me within the hour.ā€

[i]ā€œLooking forward to it.ā€ Thereā€™s the faintest sound of a kiss before ${mhe} hangs up on you.

It took a while before Dr. Mortum trusted you enough to get access to {mhis} lab. For months, you needed to be escorted in, and you found it amusing that {mhe} would trust you with {mhis} bed and {mhis} heart, but not the location of ${mhis} research.


Both are the lab, but one is the ā€œLiving quartersā€ of the lab, the other is where the funky test-tubes are. Just my toughts. The chapter 15 part seems to indicate Mc is trusted at Mortumā€™s home which is not the case according to chapter 14.

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I havenā€™t gotten to the updated part yet but i found an error in chapter 15, the shrink scene.

My MC went from the outside vision scene to the revenge vision scene. I peeked at the code and I think the choice:

When did it stop? When did you start closing yourself off, not just from the world, but from people?

*fake_choice
  #I know exactly when.

seems to be missing a *goto heartbreak tag.

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My Eden: chillin, mindin her business
Mortum: have you like slept at all recently
Eden: :slightly_smiling_face:
Mortum: [ā€¦ pulls her into a hug]
Eden: [shuddering inhale] uUgg gOD BABE toDay was AWFU L :sob::sob::sob:

The emphasis on touch when inside Eden is so, so visceral-- itā€™s why my Eden gets so caught up in the Doctor. It makes her immediately vulnerable which makes ME vulnerable so like DAMMIT

ā€¦ thx for the feels

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how about some blurr there guys , so we keep it safe for peoplesā€¦

Thanks for the early Christmas present!
Found no new bugs on my first try.

I did a new playthrough for this and maybe someone else mentioned it already, but the seagull scene with Ortega at the very beginning reads a little weird with an MC who has always been friends and nothing but friends with Ortega and decides to keep being friends. It feels like theyā€™re both making a pretty big deal out of it and like thereā€™s something more in the background when itā€™s really just the MCā€™s silent choice to stop pushing Ortega away all the time. I know it feels that way because itā€™s the same scene for a previously romantic or frosty relationship, but still, in my opinion it just doesnā€™t mesh very well with the consistent-friendship-route.

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I started a new game just to make sure this wasnā€™t just a save-related error. I get this bug when I choose the new option and try to bail on Ortega after the Shrink scene:

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OKAY ALSO as per the update

In the MC/Ortega route, who are Mortumā€™s informants and how do they know that A) Sidestep is ā€˜aliveā€™, and B) seeing Ortega? Who is the leaky faucet here?

Almost want that scene with Steel in the park regarding Ortegaā€™s runny mouth to have been foreshadowing, because the drama, but it also just doesnā€™t seem like something even theyā€™d be discussing so openly. The leak must be someone close to home, or very invested in Sidestepā€¦ or both.

Herald? Heartbreak? Thoughts? :thinking:

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Seconded.

More evidence that Mortum and Ortega have history. Doesnā€™t feel like the romantic kind, but does make one wonder.

Theories about the missing telepaths? The farm, probably, but why? Is it just resource collection, or is it extermination?

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probablyā€¦

ā€˜old friendsā€™ , ā€˜old aquintanceā€™ . remember that Dr.mortum before she become a full scientist , she was a vilain and is ā€˜retiredā€™ . and ā€˜retiredā€™ in that world doesnā€™t mean you donā€™t keep old contact , especially when your new ā€˜businessā€™ is making weapons and tech to help kill peoples or rivals .

Although , if I recallā€¦from book 1 . If your puppet isnā€™t on good terms with the dr. , I remember getting a slider where the dear Dr. is talking on the phone to ā€˜unknownā€™ and didnā€™t seem ā€˜happy talkā€™ and more like ā€˜coercedā€™ into something . I remember thinking that would be the Hollowground giving Mortum ā€˜some unpleasant directivesā€™ in that route .

as for Ortega and Dr.Mortum . Have you tried making your puppet friend Ortega and go on a date with dr.mortum ? its hilariously akward at the hospital XD

I think Dr. mortum sympathize or respect Ortega from her old day as a vilains . Maybe she even had dealing with ā€˜chargeā€™ and maybe ā€˜chargeā€™ was too charming for her own good and let Mortum get away with a warning or something . Who knowsā€¦Iā€™m just glad Mortum actually like Ortega .

the leak is much more closer then you think!!! THE BIEBER!! AKA HERALD has a BLOG! Thats what!! With sparkles and shit!!! Get himmmmmmmm! :rofl:

@sljzz orā€¦a morbide though I had when I was reading the new updates . Butā€¦maybe they find out its cheaper to transform Telepath into regen then make them from scratch ? Or maybe they are kidnapping them , brainwash them with tech or something and using them to control the regenā€¦like a remote controlā€¦thats a long line of puppeteringā€¦

So Iā€™ve just finished playing it and now Iā€™ve a problem: I want to romance Dr Mortum too. The good doctorā€™s just so caring and wonderfulā€¦
* sigh * Why must all the ROs be so lovely :joy:

A small error I found:


The part in the red box is repeated.

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I donā€™t really get the sense that Mortum likes Ortega. If you go on a date with Mortum at the gala they cursed and dragged you away when Ortega showed up; and now we know that they have also been keeping very close tabs on Chargeā€™s mods and civilian life. It feels vaguely like ā€œpreparing to take Ortega down some day but donā€™t want them to die horriblyā€ kind of attitude.

Remember HB? The farm has plenty of uses for telepaths arguably more horrific than making them into regenes. What Iā€™m wondering is if they are also capturing telepaths as a silencing measure / safety precaution. They are very big on secrecy afterall, and telepathy is a unique advantage in uncovering truths.

Of course, predicting the future is a even more dangerous power. Our dear puppet is very far from any kind of safe.

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yes I remember that sceneā€¦

but I believe they dragged you out because they didnā€™t want to be seen . and you know Ortega right ? she is like a dogā€¦see something? run off and smell itā€¦bark bark bark! wiggle tail , look at Mortumā€¦look at puppetā€¦turn head on the side with many ??? and it never end :rofl:

well of course they would . Mortum I mean , she made an armor that was to beat up the ranger . They have to know the ennemy ā€¦or the armor wouldā€™ve been made of Tin foil lolol weā€™ll be dooooomed .

No , I think dr.mortum like Ortegaā€¦and they are not crazy to go against ortegaā€¦cose taking on Ortega is taking on the ranger which also mean taking on the Governement . And she is happy where she is making toys for others . when you take on someoneā€¦you are ready to give up alot of thingsā€¦like your full time job and Lab .

ohhhhhhhh the xfiles XD Sorryā€¦lol humā€¦thats actually more terrifying . Since that mean , they could be using the telepath to know everything but alsoā€¦silence anyone .

thoughā€¦one thing popped in my head at the part about the telepathā€¦wasā€¦ā€˜ā€˜wouldnā€™t be kinda ironicā€¦if we end up having to infiltrate back the farm with Ortega (or chosen Li)ā€¦to save Locus or the telepath ?ā€™ā€™

This update came when I was just feeling genuinely awful so honestly it couldnā€™t have come at a better time.

Besides the general adorableness (and wow!! there was a lot of adorableness!) the highlight for me was definitely the bit between Dr. Mortum and a trans MC. :sob: I wish I could articulate myself better ahh. But it means a lot to me that theyā€™re trans, and it has since it was first implied in Rebirth. I just love Dr. Mortum so much, yā€™all. Every time we get more about them I grow stronger.

Gotta do the friendship route now too! :ok_hand:

Also!! I noticed a potential pronoun error?

I hope this is enough to easily find it, but here:

#"I need to know if Steel can beat ${chim}."

Should probably be ā€œI need to know if Steel can beat them.ā€ so the MC doesnā€™t accidentally gender themself if they have he/him or she/her pronouns, etc.

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So now my head is drained. Think I emptied the last shreds of the inspiration bucket with yesterdayā€™s update. Today is cleaning the entire house before my parents arrive tomorrow, and then there will be family time. Will still be available for asks and stuff on tumblr, but will try to do no writing until they return back home.

I need the rest.

I think the next step will to go back and fix all the continuity issues/path variant notes I have thanks to you people, because after that itā€™s diving into the auction chapter as we start our rollercoaster back up. So keep finding stuff, it might take some time for me to fix/update, but it is so very valuable.

And once again, thank you for being helpful and awesome, I could never do this on my own.

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