(WIP) Era of the Archdemons (Epic/Lovecraftian fantasy) CHAPTER 3 UPDATED 5/19/24

Why can’t I be a ripped woman

1 Like

Also the pixie cut option is broken

Because the ROs don’t like ripped women nor do they like voluptuous men.

4 Likes

This was an interesting start! I thought the introduction of the defined MC giving way to the reader customizing the mortal form was well done. I liked the range of forms to choose from, and appreciated that we are getting bits of world-building and character backstory here and there.

One issue I have concerns the pacing and the tension. It often seems like the challenges the MC faces are resolved too easily – the mystery of Isa’s origins are explained right away, the MC needing help from the captain is solved with the pills, the fight against the goblins is over in one choice, etc. There also seemed to be missing sentences and scenes – an example would be the page with the hair color options, which ends with a sentence about falling to the ground, and yet without explanation we’re given colors to choose. Another example would be Jin’s lack of introduction, especially when compared to Isa’s.

Another issue is the lack of choices. Some of this is more personal preference as I usually seek out blank-slate MCs, but after the dragon fight the narration felt very railroaded. To use the goblin fight as an example again, while the choice does present two options, only one is actually selectable – meaning that there’s no choice at all.

My final issue is the pictures. They draw attention away from the writing and interrupt the flow of the story, and they present an inconsistent and bland presentation of the world and characters. If you must have them, please consider putting a toggle so we can choose whether to see them or not.

Looking forward to fighting the sea serpent! :smiling_face:

6 Likes

So a few things @expectedoperator

Regarding Isa’s origins, I fully intend to drip feed her backstory the more you talk to her. Especially as RO. Her origin is honestly up in the air & isn’t set in stone.

As for Jin, I’m thinking that if you romance any of the 4 ROs, you’ll know all about them. If you don’t, you’ll know what’s necessary. I will add Jin’s intro in chapter 1.

The pills I’ll admit to that but keep in mind the MC is from an op species. The mortal form just severely limits them. The Godlings & Excalibur serves to raise the ceiling of that limit. I’ll still change it since even I think it was too easy.

And the pictures are up until chapter 4. After you meet the last RO that is. No more pics after that. After that, you’ll see pictures of the other Archdemons & your companions in the stats screen.

And most importantly, choices. Honestly Im railroading this to get to chapter 4. That’s where I want to branch out like crazy. However, I intend for you to play as your companions at certain points like I did with Ariel.

And finally the serpent. Don’t know if I’m either gonna railroad it or go fully interactive. Because I’m really excited about writing part 2 but to get there would be to deal with this.

8 Likes

munsonated
This was me after reading the WIP

5 Likes

How do you get to use the berserker sword?

1 Like

@Lucas_Gendron It’s a beastmen exclusive weapon. Probably gonna lift that off soon since Im thinking on giving unique side stories with each weapon should you use it enough.

The twin daggers will remain exclusive to godlings. For obvious reasons.

4 Likes

I tried using it as a beast man and it didn’t work?

1 Like

The limiter should be gone. @Lucas_Gendron

1 Like

Ok thank you I enjoy your games and look forward to future content!

2 Likes

@Lucas_Gendron pay attention to the date in the title for more content.

4 Likes

A strong start, totally hooked for it

2 Likes

It’s satisfying!

1 Like

Ok, I’m a little confused since I haven’t played it yet cause I’m waiting until a few chapters are done. Are we playing as a MC we can create or are we playing as multiple characters based on their PoVs?

2 Likes

Both. @Zarkrai

2 Likes

I go away for a bit and whole story does a 180. :joy:
Either way I certainly enjoyed the last story.
But definitely like this one better to a degree, more interaction from the player here. So :+1: in that regard. Not a lot to say yet, since it’s not exactly great yet and, still needs a bit more content for me, that and, it did feel a tiny bit rushed pace wise. So yeah… Anyway looking forward to where this goes and what you have in store for us.


b4bbf19d91a900a190ed3e4befc1b39ab2b42d99a04f21f3c136fed37645bb18

1 Like

@Lyle_Schiefer The previous version that you know was a prototype of the next IF I might do. If this IF goes well, I’ll probably place it in this universe.

2 Likes

An update…

I’m only gonna go chapter by chapter from now on. Easier that way.

  • Chapter 2 part 1 is a whole thing now so apologies. On the bright side, part 2 will be a lot shorter.

  • Characters information is now in the stat screen & a sneak peek of the final companion in chapter 3.

  • A new subrace for beastmen called Burrs.

  • Additional lore that’s canon to the universe is in the stat screen. Based off the original version of ‘Era of the Archdemons.’ Call it a side story that’ll help you in the main plot should you choose to do it.

14 Likes

Houraa!!:partying_face:

3 Likes