[WIP][Demo v2] Life, Tyranny, Revolution & Medieval England

#1

Life, Tyranny, Revolution and medieval England. A book by N. Kuprevics

Hello fellow readers. I want to post my first WIP game-book for review, constructive criticism and to hear your thoughts about it. This is just the very beginning of the book, the intro. About 3800 words. The book is realistic but ahistorical. It combines historical characters with unhistorical events. The setting is England, in year 1224. You play as a character, defined by you, from birth to death.

Features
-a political map that updates throughout the game based on many factors
-a system of traits (not yet implemented fully)
-play as female or male character

Things to noteā€¦
-nothing is final and everything is subject to change!
-many of planned features are not yet added or not completed fully.
-I am not a native English speaker, so please ignore or at lest do not post your critique based on that. If everything goes as planned, I will fix all errors and spelling and increase the amount of word and sentence variety. This is just a mock-up.

Things that you can do to help me
-post your review
-if possible, post your choices
-post whenether you want to have an option to play as female character. (very important and helpful)

Link
Removed for now

Latest update in writing process 01.05
A lot of work on later parts of the game. Hit 7k words today.

Why are all Medieval stories fantasy?
Which WIP would you bring back from the dead?
#2

A small thing before I add the link to the file.
Is it acceptable to upload the file to Google drive, and is it safe to let people download the compiled .html file?

#4

Thanks!, but I can only do that if I buy Dropbox subscription. Perhaps there is a other way?

#5
#6

Thanks! I uploaded a link, please post if it works or not.

#7

Google Drive isnā€™t ideal Thereā€™s a previous discussion here. Can you use Google Drive like Dropbox for Hosting Games

You can use webs.com though, I think. Iā€™ve never tried it out though.

Or you can use the free dropbox version and compile the game. Compiling instructions are here Can't post my Demo

@Flurrywinde11 has also made an extremely generous offer to host games here. Need some help with implementing images

#9

Thank you all for your help. If the current link does not work fine, I will try to fix it with your all posted instructions.

#10

@Nikssims The link works fine. (Heh I was too slow typing up my answer.

@Hell_Satan No idea.

#12

Thank you! I will fix it asap. But please ignore typos and spelling as much as possible, that is still on my to-do list.

#14

It works, and while this game is fun, it lacks the vivid feeling of living in Medieval England , also their were some grammatically incorrect sentences in the demo,

#16

Thanks, I will try to add more sentences about medieval times in the next update.

#17

Yes, after reading it now myself I feel that too. Especially near the end. I will add more choices regarding wife and marriage. Thank you!

#19

Hey, a female option would be really appreciated! :blush:

#20

I will see what I can to do implement it. It will require a lot of work, but if that is what readers what, I will work on it when I can.

#21

This game is flat out awesome. Now if only it can get get finished!!!

#22

Thank you! I will do everything I can to finish it!

#23

I think having the option to play as a female character would be great!

#24

I will add the option to play as female character, though it will take some time to do that.

#25

Itā€™s alright.

It seems to just be a series of events with ā€œmeā€ in the middle, nothing really actually happening. Iā€™m not investing into the story because thereā€™s absolutely no sense of urgency or reason to ā€˜buy inā€™ to the story.

Iā€™m swept along from birth to marriage without consideration of the finer things. I met Sofia, but do I really love her? Am I really interested in marrying her? The premises is decent enough, but itā€™s almost as if it is being written to finish the writing and not being written to craft the world and paint a lovely/horrendous picture of the living conditions and emotions that should be sparked from those conditions.

Thus, I am just a passenger. The world ā€˜toldā€™ to me, without consideration to my own thoughts, an authorā€™s voice over the wave of the game. Richard III for example, why do I care? Why do the people care? Give me the example, give me the reason, show it to me, donā€™t just tell me the history.

Thatā€™s all the feedback I have for this.

#26

The intro is meant to be like that. As if ā€œsomeoneā€ tells you your early years untill a point where the revolution starts. At that moment the way the story is told changes. It is like your history until that point. Sorry for not clarifying this earlier. The next few parts that I have wrote are all written in a whole different perspective.

Also, the atmosphere is dull. I understand that, so in the next update I will add much more sentences and text to improve this.

Thank you for your review!