are you going for the pedobear look or a more adult wine?
Just don’t be surprised if I flag your post if you talk about this again
You should stop now, man. Someone will probably end up flagging you if you don’t.
Just some advice.
…I just finished typing this and someone has already said they would before I could post it.
I found one typo:
- The woman stands stright, a sudden neutral expression on her face.
Who say this bad? It’s starting to become more interesting I like how there reason to not obey The Five
Not this again, microwave.
It’s been addressed. Let’s move on shall we?
@aequa You may have said your 5th chapter was boring, but I found it interesting and I didn’t see a problem with MC’s family. Can’t wait to see the rest of the story.
Q: Do we know what Leo looks like?
I’m glad it was readable. I know I doubt myself a lot, especially when it comes to writing. I wrote a lot in the past but pretty much left it when I got into art. So I feel like I lost a lot of skills I had previously. I guess that’s why I’m doing this more for fun. If I let myself get in my head too much I never would have posted this. Receiving praise on this little project terrifies and excites me at the same time.
You mean does the MC know what Leo looks like or do you want more information on how he looks? :^)
And even though it’s already been addressed a lot and I probably should let it die, I’ll clarify that you can’t date your mom (or sister) in this book… even though I’m sure it was joking. It did make my giggle a little, regardless… No more mother romancing. Bad. No no. I don’t like that I saw the p-word in here either. Bad word. Naughty. No no.
The latter. I don’t recall reading a description of how he looks–the other characters get a short description, so I am a little confused.
@Terriermon50 I thought I did but maybe I ended up cutting it out? If I took out the description then it would also take out a kind of important point… Oops. I’ll check and make it more clear when I update next, but for now, here’s a some of the things I think I wrote.
I think he’s compared to Saro at some point, that Leo’s tanner and slightly shorter. And that he has ashy brown hair. I didn’t mention his eyes ever, but they’re basically black, or a very dark brown. I do hope I left in that he has marks on his face like freckles, that they follow a certain pattern, similar to a constellation… Otherwise, I haven’t mentioned this, but he’s likely mostly of East Asian descent. (His last name is Feng. Does that sound familiar?) :0
Ah, found it. Thanks. Must’be accidentally double clicked the proceed button and confused that description as Sayo’s.
Well incest is wincest lol
Before I forgot I have question, why Lilith put mc phone in rat cage with the rat of all places?
I don’t take it we’ll be able to romance Visa?
@Sabrinadiza_Balya Because originally she had a pet snake and if MC did somehow find it, she assumed they wouldn’t reach in for it. But I didn’t know how realistic having a pet snake at a school was. So I made it a rat. Which is a lot less scary. But she probably thought either no one would find it or no one would touch it. Lilith is weird like that.
For future reference, whenever you reply someone, or mention them by name, or quote, they are notified by each of those, not just once.
I’ll also comment on my thoughts of this WIP so far in a little bit, so stay tuned.
o h. lmao sorry @ everyone i just replied to. thanks. i just did it that way because once or twice i replied to someone but then i posted it and it said i didn’t reply to anyone? :o
If you hit the reply button, they will be notified, even if it doesn’t show up.
that’s wild. thank you.