After lurking in this forum and looking at the choicescript for a while I finally managed to start making a game of my own.
What do we have for now
Prologue: 3 main paths and whopping 28k words. One walkthrough should take like 2-3k words, according to CSIDE.
Chapter 1: 41k words (not finished)
What is it all about
The last war ended long ago, and the world was able to take a deep breath. But even in relatively peaceful times, bad things happen. Your old decisions led you to the foreign city, and now you have to settle with it. And worst of all:right now your past creeps behind you, and its teeth are sharp. Would you be able to outrun it? Or maybe even defeat or surpass it?
You can play 3 different races, chose to be a mage, to not have any magic abilities or to have but prefer other means of dealing with the world. Everything matters and Conclave will not forget you.
Warnings
mild cursing
Found a mistake?
First of all, let me apologize for it. English isn’t my native language, and though I do my best in checking the text, some mistakes may slip unnoticed. Please, tell me if you found an error in spelling, grammar or just “omg no one would say it like that”.
Changelog
18/08: part of chapter 1 (20k words, but like 2/3 of it is a sidhe path)
22/08: glossary added
19/10: stats adjusting
24/08: new scene, stats adjustments, new achievements
It’s definitely good. I have to ask, how old is Nine? Her appearance is my type. I enjoyed playing as a gua too. Reminded me of the draconian race from FF14.
Nine is a teen. Sidhe’s lifespan generally is like three times longer than human’s, and like twice as long as gua’s. So for some non-sidhe MC, she may be technically older in terms of a number of years (depending on MC’s age, ofc), but she is considered to be like 13-15 years old human.
Sure thing. Currently, there is 4 planned ROs, and 1 questionable flirt.
Interesting concept. Found some grammar and usage mistakes (I’ll attach a couple of catches below).
I think it would be worthwhile to find someone to work with you regularly as an editor/proofreader, but the story itself seems good, and I would play more
I am quite interested in this premise thus far! Like some have mentioned, I would recommend getting a native English speaker to help you proofread nonetheless, great job! Looking forward to more from you.
I’ve done my best to pick out a few errors below. Strike throughs are words to be removed, and those in bold are words I’ve added
here:
Guards or not, I have hono wish to hide in a pile of crates forever.
Were you spooked by your own shadow and hurt your hand for nothing? PerspectiveThat thought is not quite appealing
There are deep shadows near the walls, but you know better than to run through them:
A shard whooshes past,barely past youbarely missing you, hitting a wall with an unmistakably metallic sound.
Though considering how pissed is sheshe is, maybe you need some other means to slower herslow her down for a while
Oh, I have somea gift and am always eager to use it.
The handmaiden has left the door opened and unlocked. She also — how incautious for her — stays in front of it and pays it absolutely no attention. You smile while focusingas you focus on the door and reach ingstretch your hand towards it. It is aA bit too melodramatic a gesture, but you have noneither time nor talent to go without some small and helpinghelpful tricks.
At the end of the stairs lies another throwing knife. Just how many does this crazy maiden hashave?
Red Jane would scoff even if you managed to steal the whole cabinet of the clerk’s documentation.
PaidYou were paid quite well even though you did not havewithout a regular customers, but the coin itselfcoins themselves wasn’t as astonishing as athe trick to be invisible right in the front. To listen to words not meant tofor others ears, to read papers hidden from curious eyes. Academics and priests, soldiers and peasants, the Emperor and his lackeys, all have their secrets. Not only theirs anymore.
Sorry for the delayed response, sometimes my job eats me alive.
@sviyagin, @Cheion, @Christian02 Thank you! It’s fixed now. Yeah, finding a native speaker for proofreading is in order since the program tools clearly unable to point out all mistakes.
It’s quite interesting to see from the pointed mistakes, which path of the prologue was chosen.
Do you mean the changes in stats during the game? Well, the paired stats like fast/tough show in which areas your character is great. And how successful some of MC’s actions will be. Most of the stat-checks use a fair value of the stats, like >=60. In some occasions, there is an additional option for the really high stats.
The “health” stat is mostly for showing if MC is injured, and most likely will be changed from the percent value to the text.
Yeah not a real fan of the paired stats rather just have fixed stats cause somebody could be fast and strong the stats on this game remind me of Pendragon rising and ill be honest i could not stand that stat system in that game.
And with me, there is an update: part of chapter 1. Remember how I told you that the story will branches out for different races of MC? Probably not, it was almost one year ago after all. Well, this time it’s sidhe-themed update: sidhe!MC receive their first special quest. No worries, human and gua receive a little update too, with a peek to their pasts.
To be honest, initially, I intended to update it a scene later, but the archives mess kills me and really needs a playthrough test. So please let me know if there is some errors, misplaced paragraphs, or remnants of the previous version.
Also please let me know if in your opinion one or another detail requires a warning.
Hey there. Just want to let you know that I added a save system. For now only with 3 slots, but the number can be increased if needed. Not sure how the saves will react with new variables in the future (most likely not well).
Meanwhile, out of curiosity: did you get the achievement for your adventures in the archive (sidhe path)?