Dropped in to say that I really liked the demo so far! The world building and concept is very interesting and unique and I’m already attached to little Eri. I’m looking forward to seeing how the rest of the story goes.
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I’m so glad to hear you’re enjoying the demo and that Eri’s already found a place in your heart. She’s definitely not done yet—you’ll be seeing more of her in future chapters, along with Jakob (and maybe even a surprise return from Grady, but I’ll keep quiet on that for now).
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I skipped the prologue when I was playing the first time. I just read it, and I do have some questions.
Just some food for thought, mostly.
How do the Dustborn really work? In the game, they appear to be capable of independent thought and desire. They also don’t appear to be ingrained with subservience. (You can steal a logic board and sell it on the black market). This technically makes them more mentally sophisticated than their Trueborn overlords.
One (presumably Dustborn) character is said to have a daughter, but if Dustborn are produced by mass-cloning, how does it work?
The ‘most influential’ Trueborn live in Aethelgard, but if the Trueborn are a collective consciousness, who is considered more or less ‘influential’? Also, does a collective consciousness need to house a select portion of its host Trueborn in luxury?
Again, just some food for thought. Not trying to be over-critical.
Bonus question: There seems to be the letters “GBIT” (I think) on that house in the left of the cover art. Is there some hidden meaning in that which will be revealed later? 
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Hey, thanks so much for taking the time to go back and read the prologue (and for these thoughtful questions!) I really appreciate when readers dig into the lore like this.
You’re absolutely right to notice that the Dustborn don’t quite behave like your typical subservient “species.” Originally, they were designed to be passive, age-resistant, and infertile—part of a larger Dominion experiment to build a more “manageable” species from the genome of Trueborn ancestors. But over time, especially due to brutal conditions and exposure to harsh environments, those control mechanisms started to weaken the genotype and subsequently enhance the phenotype. The will to survive began overriding gene edits, and newer generations of Dustborn became more adaptive, even rebellious. The Dominion’s gene editing tech wasn’t as foolproof as they hoped.
And you’re spot on with the child question too. That character’s “child” wouldn’t have been born naturally, but adopted through a heavily regulated Dominion process. Couples have to apply for a child, meet strict loyalty standards, and put down a time deposit. These children are grown in Dominion labs using hyper-growth tech and then placed in shelters until they’re adopted (or sent into labor depending on their aptitude)
As for the Trueborn—they don’t actually exist anymore. The elites you see are still Dustborn, just entrusted by the Dominion to manage the sectors, to some extent. So while the narrative still refers to them mythically, they’re more symbolic than literal. Remember, no one in this new world is truly free, but some are far more free than others. (I guess a tribute to George Orwell’s Animal Farm, a favorite of mine)
Oh and great eye on the small text in the cover art! It wasn’t intentional (it’s from one of Adobe’s generators). But now that you’ve pointed it out, I kinda love the idea of turning it into a hidden easter egg down the line. Could definitely play a role later.
Thanks again for the awesome feedback, really appreciate your curiosity and insight!
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some text editors (i’m thinking about using Phoenix Code going forward) auto-close brackets and whatnot for you. idk how those would work with random- and quick-test yet, though—i assume you’d need to save your files to .txt files and put them in the regular organization in the choicescript folder for it to work.
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I havent thought about using other text editors. Random test is crucial for independent editing but down the road I may switch to Phoneix code. Ray, are you familiar with any organization tools for writers? At the moment, most of my ideas are written in paper notebooks or google docs and it’s a bit confusing to sort through it all.
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i mostly use google docs and even the Notes app, but i try to keep my google docs fairly organized (not the Notes app, though—that’s always a mess of random ideas/dialogue snippets/notes to self). i have started looking at a few mindmapping tools recently, though—i’ve tested Milanote a little (the free version) and i like it for storyboarding, and i’ve been meaning to check out gingko writer. i also use pinterest a lot for organizing visual/mood/thematic stuff, and it helps a lot with inspiration sometimes scrolling and finding random stuff on there!
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Thanks, Ray! Sounds like we’ve got a similar setup (my Notes app is total chaos too, but Google docs keeps things somewhat sane). I’ve been meaning to try tools like Milanote, and now I’m curious about Gingko Writer.
P.S. I know a few friends who use Pinterest (it’s such a gem)
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Is there a meal and female option
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At the moment, there is only a female option. In the next few months I will add the male version (slightly different pathway in addition to text variation).
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Just a quick update:
I will be away from my computer for the next three to four weeks. I will be active on the forum and my Patreon page, however I don’t expext to release a sizeable update to the demo during that time. That being said, I will add a few extra scenes to the ending of the demo to compensate. It will land between 10,000 and 15,000 words.
I hope to release several memoirs under the codex in August.
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By the way what gender is the protagonist? It doesn’t say anything in the summary. And all the choices for names at the beginning are all women’s name.
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It’s female locked for now just like what the author said. He’ll be adding a male option soon with a slightly different path.
By the way, this is really interesting @Max_Ferran. I’ve bookmarked this for now but will be sure to check more of it once I have more time (also writing my own WIP at the moment). Keep it up!
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