Enjoyed the demo immensely! Obviously, you don’t need to know the good things (I think?), because basically everything besides what I am going to say was great!
First of all, I felt like the plot was a little too fast-paced. I didn’t really feel any real connection to the characters, especially when the parents died. Maybe you could add some childhood scenes (also good to get a more natural skillset [as in more choices=less skill boosts for each choice], or something of the sort to flesh out the characters more, and their relationships to us.
Second, I felt like the second-in-line (us) was too insignificant. After all, they are still a royal, and in a kingdom that constantly wages wars, even a genius (the sister) could easily die.
Now for suggestions! I was hoping with a very specific skillset and personality (maybe high diplomacy, and low swords, and peace-liking), the traitor could possibly give us the chance to join them? Or is that not possible because it’s probably going to become a whole other storyline…
Third, I felt like the choice were too limited, but maybe this is because this is the start of the story, but we could definitely have more choices.
Fourth, maybe another RO, please? One that doesn’t get introduced so early on?
Also, I hope we can one day become stronger than the older sister, or surpass her in every way besides the Gift. Maybe a fame meter could also be implemented, which changes peoples’ reactions to us (more realistic/for people who don’t want to be an insignificant person, or we included in the army report, or not be told we’re unimportant)? This idea would also work together with childhood scenes (building up a reputation before the main story)
Another suggestion is maybe we can backstab the older sister (only if we hate her or are bitter towards our insignificance) and become the leader of the kingdom because the loyalists wouldn’t be able to kill me as I am the last of the royals. Lastly, for endings, maybe we could turn the older sister into a puppet, or rule as shadow monarch (as the people above suggested)
Anyway, great demo, thank for reading this post, and keep up the great work!
I only really play games with romance and itd be great if there were more. But even if I’m not into the gender flippable I’d still love this. The story is engaging and being looked over is a great feature that is tied in well.
Cant wait for more!
Seeing our sister being romanced and helping her decide would be pretty cool
Im going to assume that the male RO being ‘mostly heterosexual’ means that he’s most likely only been in relationships with women before and hasnt considered having a relationship with a man until catching feelings for the Prince if we try to romance him? so sorta closeted bisexual which is kinda relatable. If thats the case then i see no problem with keeping him as a Male RO thats not gender flippable.
and I see the logic in only having two ROs, you are after all only one person creating this story and this isnt a Hearts Choice game. You’ve created a really good hook and I cant wait for my MC trying to convince my sister to use diplomatic approaches and getting frustrated when she grabs her sword to try and solve every issue
I guess thats true, but I was kinda looking it with the perspective that sometimes when you create a character some traits are already established in your head. Sometimes it just doesnt feel right to make characters gender flippable eventhough it would make the ‘balance’ of ROs “fair” because the author has already formed an attachment to them like that. I mean, the character could have predated the idea to actually sit down and make this demo.
So they could make the character gender flippable but they shouldnt feel that they need to just for the sake of fairness.
And this is very early days in the demo and we have no idea about everything the author has outlined or worked out in the plot and its very likely what the author has outlined may change as they actually write it. I just dont think the author should feel forced into making any changes.
edit: just to note I dont want to derail this thread into a debate about how much an author should listen to feedback. I just really loved the writing and what ive seen of the story and would hate for the author to get stressed and abandon this WIP
“They shouldn’t change anything for the sake of fairness” is an argument used to repeatedly silence marginalized groups seeking representation. We were specifically asked by the author to provide constructive criticism, which I did, along with suggestions on how to resolve the issue. Note that I also provided positive comments on the things that I did like about the story, and plenty of people have mentioned other criticisms, but the “creative decision” people defend tooth-and-nail against all criticism is the one that ends up alienating LGBT+ readers.
LGBT identities are drastically underrepresented in media. People who think of themselves as an ally to the LGBT community, should read those points and consider ways in which they can make their work more inclusive. The reason people are frustrated with the lack of LGBT-friendly content is because it is a systemic problem.
I am trans and bi and the whole reason I joined this website is because of LGBT+ content so I do not need a lecture on LGBT+ inclusiveness and under representation in media. Please DM me privately if you want to continue a discussion about this issue. I was not directly speaking to you and I guess we have two different views on how the author should proceed and I have stated my opinion and feedback and hope that others will continue to do so
This must be a stupid question, but is it required to “flirt” with your chosen RO if you want romance? My MC is usually…too shy to flirt directly (irl as well lol). Would it be possible to add some “flirt” dialogue that is not “too” direct? Just a suggestion! No pressure at all, dear author ^^
I have a question you said “it’s basically magic. Only the family of the MC can do anything with it, though.” about Aether BUT in the demo it says “You may not have the Gift, but Aether is still a power that piques your interest” so does that mean the MC is the only one in the family that can’t use it?
Are you referring to Stan? He’s not a romantic option.
I just meant that however the MC acts when speaking with him might influence how he reacts if you ever meet him again.
No, it’s totally not required; the flirt options in the beginning are more for flirty MCs than to actually start the romance. I do track flirt points but I’m not sure what I’ll do with them yet, tbh.
In cases where you would need to start the romance, there will be several options available.
At the start of the game, the MC is technically able to use it, but just doesn’t have the right training/knowledge. It’ll be better explained in-game, I suck at explaining in forum posts
It’s a well written and great demo, refreshing to see that the attention is not entirely revolves around the MC. I like that it emphasizes how the MC is not necessarily relevant (because she’s not the heir), creates more space for character build up and finding what will be their disposition.
Looking forward for more updates or chapters! Good work:sparkles:
Question:
Does sir wilred have a thing to their sister? lmao cause I’ll wait for that another pain
I really liked the sister as well, especially her maturity and responsibility. I liked Cyril, but her words when she told that we were insignificant kind of hurt my feelings
all character is great except cyril. despite she never met mc or even remember mc, she carelessly call mc without honorific. even worse the way she discuss the letter. personally i never like or consider this kind of person as viable ro.
but that maybe only because i someone who value pride and tolerance. it’s okay for anyone to think poorly of someone but it is another else to said someone is insignificant in front of their face.
the game is great so far.
not gonna touch romance though since i’m not a fan of ro who think mc as nothing.
can’t wait what happened next to mc and the new queen.
That was unexpected, it really caught me of guard! Not gonna spoil it though. I have a suggestion, as the game progresses can we have a branch to the story in which we could ruthless as possible like crucifying and putting the katllanders on stakes for what they have done or choices like executing them? Great game though! I’m excited for more!
