White Light (WIP)

young-adult-fiction
science-fiction
gender-choice

#1

One night your whole world changes- literally. In the blink of an eye everything around you disappears, with new structures in their place. It doesn’t stop there- people do too, and those that don’t disappear are in danger. You are too, and must learn to survive in this modified world, with the help of others.

Now- possibly spoilery so- there is a huge focus on relationships. Seriously- you don’t have to save everyone, but letting everyone die or hate you will very likely get you killed, too. Be nice to people, they’ll probably be nice to you. That’s all I’ll say on that.

Romance is not required to win the game. You don’t have to romance anyone or be forced into a relationship. I’m still trying to decide if I’ll write anything explicit. If I do, then I’ll move this to the adult section, but until then…

Also a warning, it could be potentially triggery, as it contains panic attacks (of other characters) and possibly other things, though I can say 100% no sexual assault.. There is also quite a bit of cursing.

ROs

I’ll add more as they’re added to the story but so far there’s just-

Leander: Male. A flirty young carnie that uses less than legal means to get by.

Also- even though it’s unrealistic, I have no intention of limiting romances by gender. You can romance whoever whether you’re male or female.

The story can be pretty dark. If you’re unsure of what that entails, just think of what it would be like if the world was ending. It’s not great. Kinda scary. I’m not sure if I would consider this ‘sci-fi’, maybe somewhere between that and ‘fantasy’.

Should probably post the link: https://dashingdon.com/go/3729

Oh, and I’ve only written up to getting to the warehouse. So if you get there and it just stops, well, that’s it for now.


#2

Hi, I really like what I read so far. Leander is pretty cool and I’m interested in getting to know him. I also really like that even if you’re going down the end of the world route it’s still mostly relationship focused.

My favorite thing so far though has to be the transition from calm to an action scene, I think you handled that really well and you’re really good at writing action packed stuff!

Other than that, I didn’t spot any errors on my playthrough.

I do have a few questions: Since this will be mostly relationship focused how customizable do you think the dialogue choices will be? What about the MC’s personality? Do you think you’ll add an nb option for players?

Good luck! I’ll definitely check back when you update.


#3

thats the weirdest…well…personality check I ever seen :sweat_smile: it’s like you were reading the astrology thread and got inspired from that !

Not saying it’s bad or anything , just saying it’s new !

Just glad I can add ‘Passionate’ to my sign of Air…cose without a blowing wind…you don’t sail anywhere :rofl:

So for questions:

Hum let’s see…

So does this game gonna have just one kind of path ? Since you stressed the whole be-nice-to-everyone thing ?

well I’m happy with the whole ‘no gender lock’ , so there is that . Good luck with your story!


#4

Thank you! It’s a bit new to me since I generally just write romance.

I do plan on expanding dialogue choices and making the palm reading answers a bit more prevalent. I want to get a bit more of a handle on the stats they increase before I go wild on it and break it, so I’ll be working on fine tuning that a bit. Hopefully it won’t make the choices or the mc seem quite as robotic.
About the nb option. At the moment I’m gonna put that on hold. I felt trying to add it in with how things are set up would have made it a bit awkward. I’m also not 100% comfortable with the fact that I don’t feel I have a full grasp on it, and the last thing I want to do is offend someone for trying to portray it one way or the other, so I want to put a bit more thought into it before I try to add it.


#5

So, the entire idea is from a dream I had the other night. The palm reader was a pretty big player in the dream (well, he was fortune teller but I thought the palm reading was a bit more fitting).

With the path… It’s a bit hard to say much else without full on spoilering. The biggest thing is, wellrealizing you can’t make it without the help of others. Does it mean you have to play nice with everyone you meet? No. But, it can curb others running off on you. You can see it with Leander already, for instance. If you kept turning him down in the beginning he runs off and you ‘disappear’ at the start. There’s also at the end, if you choose certain options he won’t get out of the car and run with you, and you have to leave him behind to his own fate. But, you survive. If that gives you more of an idea of what to expect.


#6

well…I didn’t say that I gonna go and get everyone killed…:sweat_smile:…though now that I think about it…Dun Dun…maybe we can jump in a temporal vortex and do that…

ahem…but…it’s always good to have some…leeway? y’know…so the story isn’t linear . I’m not saying make every character easy to discard though…


#7

When I selected Air it said that the logical stat was increased, but nothing actually changed in the Show Stats section.


#8

It’s good need to be more through


#9

@E_RedMark Yeah- I get what you mean. With it just being the prologue there wasn’t much you can do but don’t worry, I do plan on making the choices a lot more meaningful, and actually change things up with a bit. It won’t be just you making some comment here and there and just going right on through!

@ABcd1 Fixed, thanks!

@Harley_Robin_Evans Thanks! I’ll hopefully have a nice update within the next couple days!


#10

This was fun and interesting and as someone who loves palmistry I had so much fun with the personality thing.

I’m not the only one that put my actual readings in was i? :laughing:
Also,


#11

I’m glad you enjoyed it! I thought palmistry would be a different way to go about figuring out the personality. I have to tweak it a bit though.

And, I really, really have to catch up on Brooklyn 99 D:


#12

@Babisko
You got some spelling errors in the original post chief.

As that includes your blurb you should fix that my boy.

Since personally at least if I see spelling errors in someone’s summary of their story I get worried and at times disuaded to have a look see

An example is “You whole world changes”- Your
“Everything around disappears”- 90% sure this is grammatically a bit ducky and should be around you

Also the “you are, too,” I don’t think it needs to be surrounded by commas, just looks a bit fucky, though I’m not 100% on this.

(Also once I do some work related activities I’ll read this and leave my opinions chief.)


#13

I mean, betas are meant to improve games, not just be free content. Typos are inevitable.


#14

Yes yes I understand fully. And as unofficial alpha testers it is our duty to point these typos out.

And if there are people like me that also just kinda nope when they see even mildly poor grammar he may lose potential testers, which would be unfortunate.


#15

Thanks! And I get what you mean- if I see a bunch of typos I feel a bit iffy too. As @Samuel_H_Young said, it is a demo and it’s gonna happen, I do appreciate them being pointed out!


#16

great stuff so far! however, i’ve come across an error.

whenever i try to open the stats screen, it does… this. just thought you should know.


#17

Whoops! Fixed, thanks!


#18

Aighty aight @Babisko I had a play.

Seems pretty good chief.

Very little to comment on so far but what is there seems solid.

I dunno if this was by accident or purposefully done but with my guy I palm read him to be super calm as fuck and he was actually pretty bloody calm which I liked, not too calm but reasonablely calm.

Also are you intending to add personality stats, or are there some and they are hidden?

I am curious as to how you will be monitoring a characters personality though.

Is it completely through the palm read?

Are there hidden stats?

Is their some advanced coding going on?

So yeah neat shit chief I am curious to see this all new world that pops up through icky shticky glowy people shooting ickyer shtickier white stuff everywhere.


#19

I’m doing some revising on the palm reading so it won’t really do much until the next couple updates. Currently I’m deciding whether I should leave it in as skills that you can increase, or static traits. I’m leaning pretty heavily towards static traits though, because otherwise I feel I might lose track of it all, with a couple skills that can be increased. If that makes sense.


#20

Sounds good chief