Whiskey-Four [WIP] [Part Eight Released] [Writing Complete, undergoing preliminary editing]

I actually really enjoy how you handle this. Having read (far too many) IFs including stat heavy ones and ones where no stats exist, I can see the appeal on both sides. Personally I enjoy it either way although it is nice to find IFs that ignore stats considering how saturated the market (especially the COG market) is with stat heavy releases. I understand why and I’ve seen the community support in favor of clearly expressed stats but when the story is well written like this one, I don’t really see the point of revamping the whole thing and forcing the author to get bogged down in more explicit stat coding.

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This is fire bro. Keep it up

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Cyberpunk × eldritch horror. Aight, I see, i see.

Not many typo or errors in the demo, the high stakes adrenaline coursing can be felt through the text, that and the immersion is on point. Same with the pacing. It was a precarious situation with how the developments took place but you tread the lines well. It didn’t feel rushed.

As for the flow of the story, to me, it did feel a bit bland, not piquing my utmost interest at all times, but the influx of new info and the immersion countered it well such that it wasn’t standing out too much.

I would like to commend how you distinguished the AIU, AEU, GU. The different organisations and what they stand for, including the jurisdictional jargon and the NPC banter wrt Castle and Delta would’ve been difficult to understand if we didn’t have a clear idea of what each dept stands for. But it was clear cut as well as the humourous jabs back and forth with the “goonies” and all that. So good job on providing a clear restrictive boundary and idea about what each of those three stand out for.

typos



Keep up the good work, sire🍻

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wow. you really dont miss huh?

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Eternal vigilance. It breeds instincts and experience.

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i wrote a post a few days prior and deleted cause it was to another user but the message was…

how could you, from the moment i started my protagonist and proceeded to play until the content stopped i wont lie i was upset because i finally had another book that had me enthralled from the get-go!

cannot wait until more chapters, i will replay multiple times!

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I am so excited for more of this! Normally dystopian/sci-fi isn’t a genre that I’m very interested in, but this had me from the start.

One possible typo – I think it’s supposed to be Driver, not Castle, in paragraph two:

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I’m a simple person. I see bacon, I click.

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Mind you English is not my first language so I may be wrong but “You’ve probably another seventy years of life in you” shouldn’t it be “You’ve probably have another seventy years of life in you”? But my overall reaction to this is yay another sci-fi genre story😃I hope we can see the release of ITFO before the end of this year

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You’ve is short for You have. Eg, you’ve got a new car & you have a new car

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Ah Okay so I guess I didn’t find any typo and thanks for that you know what they say…you learn something new everyday

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You’re welcome!

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Wow! I’m really intrigued by the premise, and I’m also curious about how that certain someone ties into all this… I can’t wait to read more!

Typos

“I’ve done worse,” you say with a shrug."

There’s one extra " at the end.

Castle slips inside, closing the door behind you

I think it’s supposed to be Driver, and the sentence is missing a full stop.

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So good already played through it a couple of times to check out the different scenes. Awesome writing and am definitely curious for more.

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The V70 and Giskes-3 are meant to be made up guns right? Cause the V70’s a car and Giskes isn’t even a thing.

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I’m a big fan of the thriller type and with the spy side it was really nice to read it ! I think I’ll play it again with the more gruffy options when coming to the crime scene the first time. Just for the thrill.

I’m hype on the story but… sorry Catsle & Driver you didn’t make me go for you. Ulysse on the other hand… I can’t wait for MC & Ulysse to see each other again !

Oh the angst !!!

So much want and hate with just enough reason to know it’s a bad idea but none of them can go back their way.

I’m really excited to know more about Ulysse and other possible ROs but especially Ulysse. Let us read more about him, pleeeeeaaaase !!!

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you bastard, you did it again.

looking forward to new content.

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Thanks for the feedback so far! I’ve fixed all the typos reported so far and added a selection for hair color. I’m already well underway with Part Two, and I’ll keep everyone updated as progress continues.

The coding itself is not necessarily the bad part. It’s just a big creativity and time suck for what I believe is a net negative to the work as a whole.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Fixed.

Thanks!

@Random_Brit is correct. I’m pretty bad with typos, but this specific instance is not a typo.

I do, too, but we’ll see. I ain’t about to complain, though. COG is probably swamped nowadays.

@PurpleCritter Glad you enjoyed, and the typos have been fixed.

Good to hear!

Yeah. The 1911 is the only firearm that exists in the real world. I might have to make this more distinct.

There’ll be more in the next part.

Glad you enjoyed it!

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Dude dude I was just playing through this freaking awesome game and just when the mysterious person appear my town suddenly got power outage/blackout and my wifi was cut off and I waited for like 2 hours before realising that I have my own mobile data and I immediately went back to play the game to continue where I left of and BAM I reached the end of the demo! The painnnn hgghhhh
Anyway I really love love love the game especially the unique appearance/gender advantages and disadvantages in the game really love that one! Can’t wait to read more of it!
2eca5682b176c76554dd2257f36fb88c

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How does it feel to have the biggest brain on this platform!!!

Holy shit, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and I’m not even really a Huge Fan of sci-fi

Also, not be all RO-brained, but this lovers to enemies to possibly back to lovers thing you’re teasing… I need you to understand this is my own personal drug

Can’t wait to read the rest!

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