Literally the only flaw with this demo is that it ends, the game is very immersive, the action scenes are great, and I really like this system of choosing our abilities based on physique/appearance and not on boring stats, the dialogue options for the MC based on jokes or sarcasm is a high point.
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Glad you enjoyed it!
Good to hear lol
This is also very good to hear.
Small progress report: I’m 9.5k words into the next part. Hopefully, I can have the next release in the next week or two. I’ve been making shockingly good progress, despite being incredibly busy.
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10k words already?
My,my… what a wonderful turn of events…
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This story: exists
Me: 
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This is a random little thing, but I love the snide little asides the MC has about various info in their dossier. “I had my spine shattered, you cock suckers” startled a laugh out of me so hard I sneezed.
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Soooo soo GOOD! I just found out you have this story out – digging the scifi theme going on here (not my usual cup of tea) – I was sad reaching the end of the demo! Can’t wait to see where this goes 
And Ulysses 
…
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Alright seems pretty interesting setting wise and character wise.
Understand why are character doesn’t grow a beard out but I like them
Rather like the AIU despite them being shady as hell but dislike those cops and that other agency
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Been making really good progress on the new update. Crazy good progress. Some of the best daily wordcounts I’ve had in a while, which is super nice to see. Hopefully I can get part 2 out pretty soon.
A lot more, now.
Good to hear! I’m gonna add more addendums and unlock more parts of the dossier as the story continues.
Glad you enjoyed it!
You’ll get the option later, don’t worry.
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How long are you outlining this one to be? Seems like it’s gonna be a lot more fast-paced than I TFO. So maybe half the length of that?
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The following is a demo update.
It’s done. I was… alarmingly efficient at writing this new part. I’m not sure why, but I was exceeding my writing goal every single day. Super refreshing.
This new part is a pretty crucial one. Pretty decent length, too, at almost 29k words. It’s got a bunch of set-up, as well as further exploration of character for both Castle and Driver. Further expands worldbuilding, answers some previous questions and raises a whole bunch more.
In this part, experience:
- Breakfast!
- The tapes you busted ass to recover
- Character building
- World building
- Beating people with a laptop
- And your first taste of the dangers lurking in Polyphemus…
Looking for the usual feedback. Typos, grammar errors, coding mistakes, continuity errors et cetera et cetera. Let me know if a scene sucks or what have you.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!
Yup. About half length, maybe more, maybe less.
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pronoun mismatch
“That woman is dead. You killed him. And, if you didn’t, then the AIU did,” you insist. You plead.
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Half frozen facial muscles moving up into a genuine smile upon seeing the update be like
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Without a shred of exaggeration, you are my favorite author of all time. No other has ever made me feel and identify with the MC the way you do in both of your works that I’ve read.
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Hear this? This is Jun/ko’s crowd on the move, migrating to a new source of radioactive toxic relationships. To be honest, it’s difficult to do real good dysfunctional relationship, but I’m pretty sure that bacon will nail it.
And, of course, horrors beyond human comprehension to top it off, nice.
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First off, a typo -
Give
The exact moment, Driver said he’ll be getting more guns for us,I knew this man is going to be my new best fren. Aye, I know it won’t do shité against it, but it’s the principle of the matter.
Ah, Castle and Ulysses. Ah, mon ami, matters of the heart are always a dilemma. Either let Castle mend the scars while her gentle blond locks brushes over mc’s face, or let Ulysses punch the shité out of us while crying tears of joy. Both valid options. But a dilemma nonetheless…
As for the thing, the scene of discovering on the laptop was surreal and so was the mental backlash of it. It was perfect. The sense of dread, and the eldritch horror in that one scene of discovery was held up perfectly. No extra embellishments also.
However, I wonder if it is the main concern for us. I take it, it is. For we are doing all of this to ultimately contain the anomaly. Personally, apart from the scenes dealing with the anomaly, the focus on GU and AIU as well as Uranov seemed to steal the spotlight from it, for a bit. I understand that the plot progressions are important landmarks and we can’t totally focus on the anomaly, but it’s discovery and the underlying hint of its presence through the plot in all our actions will provide that sense of dread that is a part of who MC is.
I like the subtle hint of animosity and closed off nature of Castle that still lingers even after we made peace and Driver’s chill is also good. The humor in between em is also good for the immersion. The police lieutenant is a pesky sassy woman whom I can’t tolerate tho. She needs to be given a five-knuckle-shuffle sooner or later for her own good.
Keep up the good work guv’nor🍻
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This is just a small nitpick, but in the diner, the MC leans back and puts their hands behind their head. To me, this is very man-ish. I don’t know any women who would do this, so it’s hard to picture my MC doing it. It could just be me with this immersion problem, so take it with grain of salt, but it feels weird to me
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Well, now you do, hi~
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Man the scene when Driver was watching the news was so surreal.
I don’t know why I don’t like Jun/ko, but Im ready to marry Ulysses 
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