When Twilight Strikes [updated 30/08/2021]

Oi @evertides


I think this should be
’I didn’t say I don’t want to fight.'

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Love it :heart_eyes:

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I have to ask why don’t hunters use any lethal weaponry.

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Great demo!

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Oooh i love modern fantasy. The demo’s pretty good. Can’t wait for update!

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Sounds interesting would love to become a supernatural being

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I’m really enjoying this so far. The characters are all great, usually I only end up interested in one RO but all the ROs in this one have likable and interesting personalities. The story has me hooked, there’s a lot of supernatural stories but the bounty hunter angle is different. Can’t wait for the next update.

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thank you!! that’s so nice of you to say.

mostly out of goodwill. if IAOS was using lethal weapons on a vampire bounty let’s say, it would cause a huge uproar with all vampires and would create a huge mess. they’d rather avoid that since they work towards mending and building relationships, not destroying them.

sorry again! i fixed it.

thank you so much!! i know wayhaven is a huge supernatural story on cog and there are plenty of others but i definitely wanted to put my own spin to it and make it as unique as possible, while still retaining some of the fun elements people love about everyone else’s stories.

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Still seems kind of weird i would rather deal with some bitching than let some dangerous supernatural running around plus with lethal weaponry it would be quicker as well plus the intimidation factor alone would help with capture as well.

@Arcane_warrior it’s not “some bitching” as you put it. it’d be more akin to an all out war. keep in mind IAOS has hundreds of branches all over the world, meaning that for each one there are hundreds and thousands of supernaturals to take care of.

if IAOS decided to use lethal weaponry that may cause severe and lasting damage and/or kill bounties, not only would the species of that bounty rally against the organization, but all the species would as well. and try as they might, the humans would lose. even with all the technology they’ve developed, they’re severely outnumbered (remember also that not all the departments in IAOS focus on combat).

supernaturals may have been coerced to go along with IAOS rules, but truly, if they wanted to, they could overthrow the organization. they don’t do so because they generally find the rules fair and reasonable—it’s quite useful when they need something from the humans—but the option is still there.

i hope this helps.

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I am still not understanding how they can 1 outnumber humans 2 beat technology that is always the main stay in how humans win against supernaturals and 3 how would the supernaturals fight against the military just can’t really see government’s and people in feel safe with supernaturals walking around the way this seems it all just seems way to fragile to work.

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@Arcane_warrior

  1. they outnumber IAOS’ bounty hunters, not humans in general. every employee has some knowledge of fighting but they’re not skilled enough to go up against people with supernatural strength and win.

  2. technology being the main way humans win against supernaturals is a very broad claim that does not apply to every story. this is mine and i’m saying that it might not be enough. i have not even introduced warlocks or any full-blooded supernatural right now so you have no idea how strong supernaturals are in my world.

  3. supernaturals aren’t fighting against the military. in no way is IAOS considered one. you’re also making the assumption that regular people know about supernaturals, which they don’t.

considering i’m only on chapter three, i’ve barely begun any worldbuilding so any further questions you may have will likely be answered within the story. again, i hope this helps, but i don’t wish to elaborate on this further until i’ve written and released more of the demo.

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P. D: I forgot to say that I really like how the titles are done, it looks so beautiful. I’m studying Graphic Design and it’s so satisfying to see the colors and fonts that u used :relaxed:

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AAAAAH!!! Thankyousomuchx100 for the ADHD representation in A. It’s really well-written and I can relate to a lot of their behavior (I have ADHD). I hope to see more of it <3

Haha, I always imagine my MCs with ADHD too. I can just imagine this MC’s and her BFF/potential lover’s conversations: both eagerly blabbering on about everything/nothing, jumping from one thought to the next - still perfectly understanding each other - while bystanders be like: :flushed: :flushed: :flushed: :flushed: what the f is going on?!. :laughing: I don’t know if their romance would work, but I’m into it! Tbh I’m into all your characters and if I could, I would marry all of them <3

To sum up: well-written and interesting story, with fascinating and diverse characters. Can’t wait for more!

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Thank you for the insight. I still think lethal weapons would be useful but thanks for tell me about the world in this.

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Damn right.

Yeah, you tell everyone.

Whoop whoop, go kristi.

You tell the non-believers who’s the all powerful in here.

Oi kristi, can I ask a silly question that’s been ticking me for a while, why yellow?!?
It does kinda seems like it’s your signature color at this point, but why yellow and black?!?

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oh thank you! i actually wanted to go into graphic design before deciding on writing so that’s why some of my leftover passion has carried over lol. this is such a compliment!

i’m so glad that you liked it!! i’m neurotypical myself so i definitely worried that it might be harmful but i’m doing a lot of research to try and prevent it. super excited to have neurodivergent rep in my story. thank you for the kind words <3

haha it’s just the colour scheme for this book. i have a bit of an obsession with the way yellow and black look together (i just think it’s very clean) so i made that the palette for the story. book two and three will be different.

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Very interesting, so far!

I’ll admit I was a bit lazy to keep track of possible coding errors or other things this time around - I’ll probably do it properly later on, but overall it was a nice read, and I’m always grateful for stories written in first person, so yeah! A lot of good points!

The only thing that bothered me a bit was how stat increases or decreases worked. Or specifically, the Pragmatic/Emotional one. I felt like the Pragmatic was going up way too much. It must be related to my playstyle, but just in case I prefer to adress it. More often than not, I selected choices that were on the “calm” side as far as reactions go, because they felt like my character interiorizing their emotions, and since they’re friendly and all, it would make sense not to want to upset people. Which strikes me as empathetic, so, could be classified as Emotional. But it seems most quiet answers made the Pragmatic stat go up.
I can look up for specific instances, but really, I just wanted to bring it up. An emotional response doesn’t necessarily have to be explosive, loud or abrasive. Maybe more options where it’s obvious the MC feels strongly about something, but simply doesn’t talk about it would be cool?

Again, that’s a minor complaint. I see my MC as emotional, but he’s on the pragmatic spectrum as far as stats go, and that felt weird.

That being said, I really like the characters introduced so far. Well, maybe Ryler a bit less, but that’s because it’s not my type of character overall.
I think Blane is my favorite, and probably the RO I’ll settle for. It’s interesting considering I don’t like the rivals-to-lovers trope (despite loving the ennemies-to-lovers one - but that’s a completely different mechanic). But it seemed natural here, at least so far, and I don’t have any reasons to think that would change. Not to mention, Blane seems to be an abrasive person generally speaking, and I guess it helps when acting like that is the overall personality of the character, not something directed exclusively at the rival.

I don’t have anything more to say for now, I think. I’ll be eagerly waiting for more!

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There’s no denying that she’s beautiful.

Her partial Fae heritage and half Colombian ethnicity makes sure of that.

It’s no question why she’s so sought over at the department.

I don’t… understand the implication. Am I right to be creeped out?

@Sel_Lee hmm well i see why it’s a weirdly put sentence. i can definitely change it but the implication is that fae are beautiful and Blane having some fae blood would make them so. the half-Columbian ethnicity is added in there because i wanted to make that clear to readers but i suppose it could be taken badly.

@konoi i was having some difficulty setting percentages so i definitely agree that some of them rise much too quickly. it’s something i need to figure out for the next update. i also agree that being emotional doesn’t need to be an outburst so i’ll look into changing that. thank you for the kind words and I’m so glad you like Blane! <3

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