What things in life, made you a stronger person today?


#1

I think in life everyday you go through experiences that make you or break you, might pave your way as help others on their path. So what has made you stronger today?


#2

Starting hormone therapy.


#3

my counselling mostly, so I’m glad for it, but sometimes resentful I didn’t get it sooner. I don’t know about stronger, more happy with who I am, but having so many unique experiences and meeting so many unique people :slight_smile: everything from travelling, to trying things that scare me like going on log flumes lol.


#4

Well a happy person is a stronger person and your doing super cool stuff. You went long fluming cool! Thats one of my favorites lol.


#5

I guess dad telling me when I was a kid I have to love you but I don’t have to like you or be your friend


#6

My disability, oddly enough. It’s a bit of a struggle dealing with it from time to time, but it has given me a very clear sense of what my limits are and a stubborn determination to strive past them.


#7

Some of my stuff is double-edged? The place where I was born and grew up in was toxic and dangerous and difficult to escape without any support. I had to make myself strong to get out of there, but it left a lot of emotional and psychological scars. So many. Therapy helped with that, and it also made me stronger, but my first therapist was terrible and ended up doing more damage to me than he fixed before I found a therapist who actually fit my needs.

Taking Women’s Studies and Gender Studies classes in college gave me the language to express what I always knew I was feeling and identify the causes for those feelings, the systems that created them, but it also made it much easier to see how broken and biased the world is, how fragile the rights we have are, and how people in power benefit from the marginalization of others.

Coming out was a major moment in my life, but it turns out that you don’t just come out once if you’re a femme lesbian, you have to keep coming out over and over again, and a lot of times people don’t even believe you when you do-- including other lesbians. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been called a “fag hag” at gay bars because some of the people there just assumed I was straight and looking for attention. Funny, really, because I just went there looking for a safe place.

I guess the biggest thing, though, is my partner. We’ve been together for a little over three years now, and she’s held me together through some really dark times, times when I was sure I was going to shatter into a million pieces. She’s everything, literally everything, and she never asks for anything in return. She just keeps gluing me back together whenever I start to crumble. Sometimes I glue her back together, too. I think some of our pieces got mixed together at some point, though, and I’m really happy about that. I feel like those pieces are where my real strength comes from, and I hope she feels the same way.

But you know? It’s really all of it. You survive. You survive the big stuff and the small stuff and you just keep going. Sometimes, if you’re lucky like me, you find someone who’ll share the weight of the world with you, but outlasting the bad stuff is where most of my power comes from. The people in my town tried to destroy me (my biological relatives, included), my first therapist tried to convince me that I was to blame for the trauma of my childhood, the world tried to push me down with lower wages and constant objectification, but here I am, currently spending two years doing volunteer work in Medellin, Colombia, with the love of my life. I’m happy, relatively healthy, and I have a view that no one with our limited budget should ever be able to afford. I’ve surpassed everyone that tried to hold me down, or at least it feels like it. I have bad days, but most days still feel like a win.

ETA: Oops, just noticed that the OP said “what made me stronger today,” not “in my life.” I overshot the mark just a teensy bit there. Sorry!


#8

Completely agree with all of this, I remember my mother saying “We could expect something like that from your sister, she always acted like a boy.” :astonished: Really mom?

She’s is part of what has made me stronger though, despite the fact she originally sided with the rest of the family to disown me she’s back in my life and trying to open her mind. I mean she does still look a little uncomfortable when I mention my ex girlfriends, but she’s trying and I do feel a lot better having her in my corner.

My niece is another person that’s made me stronger, one day a couple months ago she asked why I wasn’t a mommy and I simply told her that one day when I find the right girl I will be. She simply smiled and said “Good” :slight_smile:


#9

excepting the fact that no one knows my real dad, and I can’t win all yugioh duels.


#10

Never giving up no matter what, smiling despite hardships, writing my stories and eating good food.


#11

This is an easy question. Losing my son Sam. He was stillborn 6th February 2011.

That has been the lowest point in my life. But it brought me and my wife closer together and helped a little to heal some of the cracks in the relationship. Nothing reminds you of what’s important than pure heartbreak.

On the day of Sam’s funeral. I carried him into the church, I stood up in front of our families and I read something I had written for the day. I then carried him out and walked alongside the herse taking him to his grave and helped lower him down.

I was told repeatedly that I didn’t have to do those things and I wouldn’t be thought of less if I didn’t do it. But I wanted to and I did. I would have done it regardless of how I felt on the day. I owed that to Sam, he deserved to have his dad be there for him.

Losing Sam makes me appreciate my sons Dean born in 2012, and Connor born in 2015.


#12

Experiencing the ups and downs of life. Both the echelon and the bottom.

I’ve experienced what it was like to be very rich. Like living in a mansion, with servants, anything I want I could have.

And then I’ve also experienced what it was like to live rock bottom. Like hunger, literally no food on the table. Then people knocking on your door for rent or to cut off your utilities. I had also lived in bad neighbourhoods, moving from one place to another.

My parents had no concept of saving. Also the word YOLO didn’t exist back in the 70s and 80s, but they were already living it.


So as a grownup, as an adult, I’ve made sure not to follow in my parent’s footsteps. I mean I love them, but won’t follow the paths they took in life.

With the things I have experiences at such a young age, I think it has made me the person that I am now. I am very comfortable in my own skin. I am confident in dealing with people from different backgrounds and walks of life. And I know that no matter how tough life can get, as long as you hang on, and face it with conviction and bravery, you’ll be able to survive any challenges.

What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.


#13

As much as I despise them for what they put me through. Being bullied taught me a lot about myself and other people… and that you can learn from every single situation in your life good or bad. And There are always bullies kids teens and adults.

Being smart is better than being big.
Also being yourself is better than blending in.


#14

My father being a criminal. I saw a side of the world that most people don’t. It’s like the world is a stage, brightly lit and with everyone following their stage directions… and then there’s a whole dark, messy area behind it, active and overlooked.

It was terrifying at times - surely it helped with bullies, that my family was so much scarier than they could imagine - but it carried other lessons. Being seen as someone who would not judge or turn them in, I was trusted to hear the stories of runaways, the disenfranchised, and anyone else who didn’t have the option of going to the police. I was able to consider solutions to desperate problems that involved breaking rules.

In school, I first learned about prejudice from the look in my teachers’ eyes when they heard my last name. I was fearless about coming out and otherwise being different because I already was an outsider and knew I could defend myself. I got shit for being in genius class, for hanging out with delinquents, for missing classes, for doing too well on tests… and didn’t give a damn, because I’d been hazed since first grade for having the wrong name. Society was just a painted flat to me.

I don’t consider my worst traumas to be among my strengths. I’m grateful to be brave, resilient, and creative enough to have a life despite them. But if I’d never been neglected, abused, or assaulted - who knows what I might be? Maybe I’d still be a pretty awesome person, but not have to take six medications a day to sleep at night and be reasonably happy.


#15

That’s wonderfully put. Thank you for sharing.


#16

My cat was in my life for 22 years. I’m 24, so that’s a huge portion of my life. He was kind, humane, empathetic, and caring, more so than most people I’ve encountered. He taught me how to love others without reserve, and how to be accepting of and compassionate toward other people. No matter where I was when I cried, he would come find me. If the door was closed, he would paw and meow at it until I let him in, and then comfort me. If I got in a fight with my parents, he was there getting in the middle of it to see if I was okay. He had a wonderful, loud purr and a warm heart. He slept close to (or on me) for almost every night of my life. I’ve experienced profound emotional turbulence for most of my life, and having him love me unerringly dragged me from dark places. In fact, just knowing that his love was unconditional inspired me to be kinder to myself and gave me hope when I had none. I moved away in the last two or so years of his life, and I still regret not being there for every second. I saw him as much as I could, but I just wish I could’ve been there more.

He died last summer, and my heart will always be broken. His last act before he was put to sleep was to reach out to my mother, as he used to do so many times in the past, and comfort her. However, I owe much of who I am, and how I treat and love others, to his examples. I’m actually having to fight the tears right now while I write. I’ve lost many things, and I’ll lose more, but I easily count my cat as one of the main losses.

Now I know the value of love, compassion, and kindness, and I know it’s value is only heightened when life is dark. Compassion isn’t something you should only have when life is easy since that’s when it’s needed least. Being a kind, humane person in dark times means far more. I’ll always remember Tigger, and I’ll always work to let others know about him, too. He was far more than just a cat to me.


#17

That’s what I love and hate about pets is that the offer love unconditionally. My family dog Lady was the same the night before she was put down I went to see her and say goodbye and I broke down and had to leave the room. She bloody followed me to comfort me and that made me cry more. My main memory of her isn’t that fine meeting it is the day I came home from school to see my mom down down the road yelling for her and Lady rushing right to me for a cuddle.

I’ve got two cats now and they are both loving furballs. I rarely push them away even when they annoy me because I still fear the day they won’t do that.


#18

OMG that was beautiful, I’m in tears :sob: Pets are such wonderful additions to life, when I was little I had a dog and she always followed me around everywhere. When I graduated high school she was going deaf and blind and I told my parents not to let me know when the time came because I wouldn’t be able to handle it emotionally. A few years later I was having a fight with my girlfriend (who was also my best friend since we were kids) and she got mad and said “Oh, and by the way your dog is dead!” and stormed off…broke my heart to pieces :broken_heart:


#19

Same. My father was also one.

Care to talk about it milady over a cup of tea? Let’s go on a date.

Hahaha… Kidding.


#20

…I personally feel that these kind of experiences both make, and break you. Though, I would say that one of the biggest moments was when I had open heart surgery at age nineteen. My mother was frantic the entire time, while I felt that I didn’t care if I lived or died, it would simply be what it would be… No use worrying about it.