In lots of WIPs, usually after your character gets knocked out, there are consecutive one word/sentence pages where you have to press continue button over and over again. IMO it doesn’t work. Just a single page would work, but it gets boring when you have to wait for the page to animate and press the button.
Also piggybacking on @Konoi 's comment, not having moderate flirt options bothers me. You’re either Commander Shephard from GamerPoop, asking everyone to have sex with you on the spot or you’re the most socially awkward being in the universe who can’t utter a single word as you’re too busy with blushing. Subtle innuendos, holding the RO’s gaze longer than normal would be enough for me.
I never had that happen to me
If it did happen in a game I played (or well, at least the way I played), it would have really bothered me too.
I have seen instances where failing a mission doesn’t do nothing, as far as relationships go, while succeeding adds some relationship points, and I can understand it that way around, since it may be admiration for the MC, for having managed to do something difficult etc. I still prefer when there is no affection gain if succeeding in a mission (stat check related), unless it’s something MC is doing for a specific character. But at least, I don’t mind it that much either, so not an immersion breaker.
Thanks to a topic starter and those who contributed! I have nothing to add, but this tread is gonna be a huge help.
I would argue or rather specify @Konoi point about stats. I think stat based game are fine and valid IF reader knows that stats play a huge role from the very beginning. And if there is some gap to breathe between checks. Also it should be clear how to gain a specific stat.
I’m of this sentiment as well! And, thankfully the “relationship stat punishment” is not something I see often - but I know two titles that have it (I shall refrain from mentioning them here). Still stuck in my mind like that tripledent gum ad from Inside Out
Hmm I’m a bit split about that
I think I’ll stick with my opinion though, that stat-based games are my bane and basically deal breakers. I have played balanced games, where both stat checks and roleplay are important (my favorite IF game, “Relics of the Lost Age” is a good example), and I do agree with you that it should be made clear how to gain stats AND also what stat is getting checked (seriously, I hate it when I don’t know what the options even mean). And I also agree with you on the gaps between stat checks.
But the thing - again, that’s for ME and my immersion being broken - is that I really CAN’T focus on stats - if a game relies heavily on them - and still focus on the story, since I’ll sacrifice roleplay (aka the thing I’m playing for) and the customization of my MC to shape them into what I want in order to succeed in missions and get a good ending. So no matter how it’s done, a stat-reliant game can’t make me immersed. And that was the question, after all
The issue is that I may be interested in the story, and be frustrated since I won’t be able to actually enjoy it or even truly play it, even if I know about the fact the game is stat-based beforehand.
Long passages without choices can go either way:
If the plot and prose are good, and the choice is worthwhile, no matter how small, they can help with the immersion.
But if you have long passages of drivel and then a fake_choice for something that has no impact at all, that’s where it breaks. Like if you have page after page of the author telling you about all the things you’ve experience (past tense) and your feeling about them and then asks ‘how do you feel about things now’ with 3-5 choices that set no stats, give no different dialogue etc. Nope.
Another thing for me would be scene-describtions that don’t come together logically or logistically.
E.g. the characters are standing somewhere where they should CLEARLY see something else happen, but they don’t for plot-reason, or a scene is described in way that makes no sense that the characters doesn’t spot something immediately.
World-building that leaves massive questions open without any rhyme or reason is another thing. Like, if you write in a way that leaves implications about not everything being as it seems, try to address it somehow.
I’m probably forgetting a lot because I don’t think about this a lot, it’s just something that happens and don’t give much thought to.
Fourth wall breaks- I saw this mentioned but it only takes me out of it if the story didn’t start with said wall break. Does that make sense? Or if it’s written in a Second POV (that probably makes more sense), I don’t care. But in First POV, yeah, it can be strange. Maybe if it were a comedy, satire, etc. kind of piece, I’d be fine, and perhaps expect it. Otherwise, I don’t often care for it.
Walls of text- I’m being real original here but it’s true, especially for me! Reading is very difficult for me. Not because I can’t do it, but because I can’t focus long enough as I don’t imagine anything in my head when reading (no matter how much I love the writing/story). If I’m having to scroll through page after page, or screen in this case, chances are I’m skimming at best, and skipping it all at worst.
Romantic choices- I struggle with this myself, so I know it can be difficult to write flirty options that cover at least a couple ways to flirt and/or respond to flirting. But good god, it can be super out of character or just out of place, especially the more overt options… I’ve always preferred the subtle means of showing attraction than just “hey, let’s bump nasties”.
Unexpected character twists- to elaborate, I mean when a character is revealed to be something we thought they weren’t, expect there weren’t any hints dropped along the way. So when this reveal comes, it’s from so far out of left field, that it feels out of character and a missed attempt to shock the reader (slightly unrelated, but I experienced this in a show that made me drop it afterwards because it was like: ??? UHM??? What??? He was shown to be good all this time?).
Flowery or fancy language- Could just be me, because I’m an idiot, but I hate it when authors flex their knowledge of the language and use all these… large or perhaps uncommon or unusual words, even more when they could be exchanged for simpler words and nothing would change. I understand, I do, but it can be hard to understand what is being written if I don’t know what the words mean. I don’t want to feel like I need a dictionary ready at the hip every other word just to understand that Mike went to the store and saw a pretty lady.
Choices that aren’t written clearly- I’ve experienced this in Choices as well, and Chapters. I’m given choices to do “this” but instead of it being what it said, it’s “you’re doing ‘this’ but with the addition of ‘that and that’”. Hopefully that makes sense? Like, I can choose to smile at a character in Choices, and I earn affection or romance or whatever points. Man, I just wanted to be friendly, not flirt!
It’s become such a famous trend in media, unfortunately not sure why it gets so much love just because of the unpredictability, but yeah, people do love that.
This thread’s actually quite helpful. Might help me see if there are improvements I should probably make in my own work
Oh oof, I’m reading this and having some brief uh-oh moments
Anyway, some things that pull me out of a story is a lore dump in a condensed paragraph. It’s okay if there’s some explanation given, but if I’m supposed to play a character that lives in this realm, I would assume the MC already knows about these things. Which means I should know about them. Nothing’s more jarring that having your character say “ah yes I understand completely!” And you’re behind the screen questioning what in tarnation is actually going on.
And one that makes me immediately close and delete a game: No spacing between paragraphs. I almost chucked my own game in the trash when I play tested and forgot to double space between paragraphs. It was pandemonium.
LMAO trust me, I’m reading these and even writing my own little list, I’m sweating. @Rydinger
I have yet to have an MC that says “What in tarnation!?” in response to something and that realization saddens me.
And pure dialogues. Many many dialogue options to pick one by one, and the one you’re talking to only answers with talking:
The MC strikes up a conversation with someone!
Options:
Why did you join the group? √
What’s your opinion of that?
I see you’re talented at this.
And then it goes:
“I joined the group because of blah blah blah”.
Why did you join the group?
What’s your opinion of that? √
I see you’re talented at this.
And then:
“That’s really horrible don’t you think blah blah!”
Why did you join the group?
What’s your opinion of that?
I see you’re talented at this.
It’s rather dull and felt like interviewing. It’s interactive fiction after all. I don’t want the tons of information being dumped on me through only dialogues, no actions, no emotions, no interactions, and the MC is felt like missing, and it’s me holding a microphone to interview the character for a talk show.
Most of the points I was going to bring up have already been made…so I will go for a few little things that always take me out of it liiiiike:
Making my MC’s constantly wink or snort.
***I am a flirty person, so are my MC’s - in real life I may wink on occasion, but it certainly isnt EVERY SINGLE TIME I flirt with someone. That’s just weird…who would even flirt back if you were always all twitchy when you were trying to be sexy!!!
And I just don’t snort. I have noticed that when a writer puts that the MC “snorts” while laughing or whatever, they dont just do it once…nope, you will likely be snorting constantly for the rest of the story. I feel like in real life the reason snorting while laughing is cute, is because it usually isnt the norm, so when a snort comes out it is an adorable surprise…making whatever was funny even MORE funny because it got the elusive snort. But some of the stories I have read have you snorting like a pig every other page and it just makes me grooooooan.
So yeah…you don’t have to wink EVERY TIME you flirt and you don’t snort every damned time you laugh! And while we are on the subject - shy people aren’t constantly rubbing the back of their necks! Guuuuuuh
OH OH OH and how often in real life, does someone lovingly stroke your cheek when you arent even kissing and they have a crush on you??? I mean, yeah it may happen on occassion, every once in awhile…but if someone did it to me all of the time, it would annoy me or give me a complex. I certainly wouldnt go all heart eyes over it, it is creeper behaviour, yo!
Maybe it is repetitiveness that gets me…ooh especially when the same words are used constantly…we all have access to the internet/a thesaurus! (Although this is why beta testers are around I suppose to point it out when necessary)
Woah, I am ranting…my apologies, I will just back out slowly now xoxoxox
I’mma have to disagree with you on the winking thing, as both me & my OCs do it often, and we absolutely LOVE it when it’s done to us.
I DO agree with you on the repetition aspect, though. There are a lot of ways to convey attraction, shyness, anger, happiness, etc. No need to overuse actions when there are plenty others that can do just as well, of not better.
As has been said before, games that focus too heavily on stats. Min-maxing, and stat punishments are bad enough. But sometimes a game will tie those choices in with relationship or personality choices, so that if I want to do something with a specific character I enjoy, I am going to do it poorly and lower my relationship with then because I didn’t have a high enough strength stat or something. It makes it hard to make interesting choices if I have to constantly be referring back to my stat page to estimate my chances of talking to a friend.
i understand where you’re coming from with this one when people use it near constantly but normally when i write that someone snorts, it’s not like…Oink, like a pig, or like you’re laughing really hard. it’s like a derisive noise that one makes when they’re amused by something that they don’t necessarily want to be amused by. like something that happens in response to someone saying something ridiculous. it’s so hard to describe though. i suppose one could use scoffing as a substitute? but then scoffing seems like it conveys a more aggressive, dismissive noise. descriptive language is hard…
Games that are so stat heavy that I don’t get a chance of playing a character that I want because I need to be more worried about “if I don’t have my stat X at 30 at point E and my stat Y at 26 at point B I’ll get a terrible ending and everyone will hate me”. Like, seriously? There are games that make us restart over and over because if our shy and insecure mc doesn’t punch person X at this point in the game we won’t have enough strength stat to pull off a scene.
Not to say a game should be without stats, but give us the option of working with it on different ways.
Ooh, this seems like a very helpful thread! Especially because I try to make my story as immersive as I can.
A lot has already been said before, but the first thing that comes to mind is when it’s obvious that a choice is a fake choice. There are exceptions of course, but usually it’s something like “no matter what you feel”, where it’s obvious that all the choices lead to that line.
The other thing is character customization for the sake of character customization (usually when it’s back to back pages of it). Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE character customization, but it just disappoints me when it’s never acknowledged again.
Like, why would you ask me those things if you’ll never mention it anyway? In videogames, it’s fine because I can see my character. But in a story, seeing it acknowledged every so often builds my trust in the author because I know that the author cares about the small unimportant choices I make, even if it’s just my character’s favorite ice cream flavor.
This is most jarring with heights: Once I had a short MC kiss a tall RO, and it just… kind of happened. That’s a missed opportunity right there. Sure, it’s extra work, but adding that flavor text makes the scene a lot more meaningful and personal. It makes the story more cohesive as a whole.
I’d rather not have the customization, than have it and then disappoint me.
There’s also the MC getting too comfy too quickly with a character they just met… but I think I’m already desensitized to it.
For me, the most jarring thing that can throw me out of a story is when I’m talking with another character and make a choice I think is rather straight forward but is then translated into something entirely different (and usually insulting).
Here is a dramatic example;
Freya smiles at you and waves a hand toward the gardens. She hasn’t looked this excited in many years. “Would you join me on a walk? We haven’t done so since we were children.”
Of course! Spending time with Freya is a rarity.
I’m exhausted from training. I offer to go walking with her tomorrow night instead.
I’m not interested in spending time with Freya.
Option 2: You wave her off with a frown. “We’re not children anymore, and I can’t just go out into the gardens for an hour like we are, Freya. If you want to go tomorrow then I will. Otherwise, just forget it.”
Like wtf??? Explain what the reaction will be a little more before I select it. This happens all the time lol.
There are some story that did this to me:
Premise is interesting but the execution as interactive fiction was … ugh.
Too many words with few options and almost just had 1 option after 10 pages. Not to mention when your choice altered NOTHING for the story.
(And this one is for me as non-native: the words that are too flowery is distract me from the narrative, and makes me confuse. Its seems the authors just wanted to extremely show their knowledge of vocabulary.)
For the interaction aspect, too many stats drove me insane. I automatically stop to read it, because my gamer-side always wanting to boost any stats I see and again—can’t focus to the story.
Another that bugged me: when the authors use too many, I said TOO MANY fuckin symbols and unnecessary bold or italic it made my eyes bleeding.
Ugh yes. I get it if there’s a stat check and you’ve played a character that’s either intimidating or mean-spirited like that, but if my cinnamon bun of a character suddenly acts like a grade-A douvhebag, no. I’m gone.
Adding to this, sometimes one-liner dialogue as a reply just doesn’t work. If they all sound casual, what we supposed to do? Magic 8-ball help me.
not sure why it gets so much love just because of the unpredictability, but yeah, people do love that.
to point it out when necessary)
