What a Brilliant Existence! (WIP) (UPDATE: 3rd December 2019)

Just here to say thank you for writing this story! I’ve read the one in DashingDon and I have to say, it’s one of the best that really sticks with me! :heart:

I especially love Dani and Sydney, and the way they’re very different from each other without being hostile. Love their friendship dynamic! I look forward to the updates and finished story!

3 Likes

Oh, thank you! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:The friendship dynamics between every character are likely my favorite part to write, especially considering how everyone is so different, and how the MC is so unused to friendship they’re not sure how to act.

I know updates have been lacking, and I am sorry! As soon as I finish ExC’s first chapter, I’m focusing back on WaBE for a while. I miss my child :pleading_face: And it’s planned to be a short game, I find it a little ridiculous it’s been taking me so long…so I hope to have a more structured schedule this time around so I can write quicker.

19 Likes

Hey! So! I’ve been playing this demo and I loved it! I’m definitely a sucker for trauma related stories, as long as it’s something that’s also fantasy. I think it’s really interesting how it IS a very serious and somber story, but at the same time it’s also very laid back - you’re not on a quest to save the world or facing dangerous foes or anything.
The characters are also great. MC is nice, and well, I love all of the love interests, though Max really hit me straight in the heart. It would be hard for the others to compete with him.

Also, I really like the fact you include things like MC’s mother not wanting her son to have long hair because she thinks men shouldn’t have it long, or MC feeling awkward with Daniel’s flirting because his mother taught him men should refrain from showing interest to other men and things like that. You never say it’s bad or anything, but I like the fact you acknowlege in people’s minds it’s not necessarily common and that some people may dislike it. I don’t mind the way most choice games deal with that (aka assuming everyone accepts it and thinks it’s totally normal), but I always appreciate when some elements ARE actually pointed out if you play an MC with certain orientations and, some characters not appreciating it and so on. It feels more organic and adds to the experience.

Now, sadly I had a fair share of bugs and errors in my playthrough, so I’ll just list them here:

  • Saving option doesn’t work. It says: “Error: Bad Slot - Has smPlugin been included?”

  • If you select “fairly long” hair as a male character, on the next page you’ll have that part “Just the though of letting your hair grow used to make you jittery, and you only managed to find the courage to do so less than a month ago.”. But well, hair doesn’t grow that fast. If his mother made him keep it short, and he only decided to let it grow a month earlier, it wouldn’t even be shoulder lenght, less so longer than that. Unless an elemental’s hair grows faster than a human’s, but the game doesn’t mention anything like that (that COULD be an explanation, but well, it has to be explained for it to work).

  • After you select the name of the MC, on the next screen you have: “Ever since you were rescued, Sydney was the one chosen by the corporation to check up on your regularly.” - I suppose it was meant to be “to check up on you regularly”?

  • On the relationships section of the stats, Sydney and Daniel have their sections glued together instead of being separate.

  • If you decide to talk with Max at Sydney’s clinc in chapter 3.
    You have that conversation at some point:
    " “Did you get a chance to ask Dani why he brought Alex here?”
    Max shrugs. “I think he was trying to help. In his own way, that is.”
    “He probably should’ve asked you first, hm?”
    He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, there’s Dani for you.” "

But unless I’m totally missing something, Alex begged MC for him to show him Sydney’s clinic, and when they came there Dani and Max were present too. When talking to Dani, it seems Dani knew MC was bringing Alex, and still brought Max, so I guess it’s a weird wording related to that.

  • Also, when I selected “show stats” when going back to the selection of what to do at the clinic after talking to Max, I’ve got a bug saying that page has no text or something like that (I didn’t think of taking a screencap, sorry). And after that it crashed and I couldn’t do anything other than refreshing. Which unfortunately caused me to have to restart the entire thing since the saves don’t work. If it helps, I’ve chosen the romantic option in that conversation, so maybe there’s some coding error the Max’s character description if the MC has a romantic interest for him. Max was the first character I talked to, and I don’t know if the bug persist later or with other characters - obviously I didn’t go to the stats screen again after that.

I think that’s all the things I’ve noticed - hope it helps!
Can’t wait for the next chapters though - I really got invested into it. It’s a truly great story!

9 Likes

Yep, that’s what I love about WaBE too! Writing a young character that’s just trying to live their life and enjoy their youth while dealing with past trauma and a difficult relationship with family, unsure what to do now that they’re free. The whole Elemental thing is just an added bonus for fun.

Ah, thanks! That was something a bit hard to tiptoe around because the MC dislikes physical touch in general, and was also taught same-sex attraction is something to be wary of. So while I didn’t want the MC to come off as homophobic, it also needed to be clear in their internal monologue that it made them uncomfortable, I suppose like internalized prejudice. And I agree it feels more organic! I understand why some games will rather have everything be “normalized”, but that’s not exactly what happens in the real word, is it?

I noticed that a while back but never got around to fix it! I’ll have to find a way to circumvent around this issue, probably by changing the Elemental lore hahahah A few adjustments to WaBE are coming soon, so this is one of the things I’ll fix. Thanks for reminding me!

Can’t quote it (I think bc it’s under spoilers) but I’ll have to see the Alex clinic continuity issue; probably just a bit of weird wording, like you said.

Thank you, it does! They were all unreported bugs except for the save plugin not working.

Thank you!! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: That’s always great to hear!

17 Likes