What a Brilliant Existence! (WIP) (UPDATE: 24th May 2019)

I really like what you have so far. I’m curious to see how the MC will go forward after being rescued from their mother. The concept of Medallions intrigues me and Dani seems like fun. Sidenote: the nickname “Dani” is usually given to girls (short for Danielle) while “Danny” is for boys (short for Daniel). It doesn’t really matter as a person can call themself whatever they want, but I just assumed Dani was female until I got the option to choose the gender.

One thing that really did bother me was the Sydney romance. The MC is a sheltered eighteen year old who went through some serious physical and pyschological trauma. Sydney is supposed to be the MC’s caretaker/therapist and is described as having “more than a couple years” on them. Sydney is in a position of trust over a vulnerable individual so any sort romance between them between them just seems wrong to me.

Now of course, I’m just basing this off the first chapter and I have no idea how you plan on developing the romance. I’m just voicing my concerns.

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how life going for you Sky

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Thank you! I agree, Dani is very fun. Well, maybe also a bit crazy, but mostly fun.

Yep, I’m well aware. Dani is Brazilian, and that is a very common nickname here no matter if you’re a Daniel or a Daniela. Male!Dani has gotten used to people thinking their nickname is odd, however. He thinks it’s mostly funny.

That is an excellent point, one I thought much about when I started developing the Sydney romance.

First of all, romance (no matter the RO) will only start much later on, when the MC is more mature and healthy and able to carry on a relationship. Of course, this doesn’t mean the MC still isn’t in a vulnerable position; but I thought this was relevant enough to mention.

Sydney is well aware of the possible power abuse going on, and they feel very guilty over their crush on the MC. They’re not a manipulative person in the slightest, but they know they need to be careful here. Your concerns will be talked about during Sydney’s route.

As you’ve said, it’s still a short demo. Hopefully you’ll change your mind when romance starts. I’ll be happy to hear more feedback once it does. :slight_smile:

@Takashi_Shin Hey there! It’s all good. I’ve been too busy to write this week, but I write like a madman during the weekends, and it’s been super fun, like always. How have you been?

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Eh I’m sorry but… Exactly how old is Sydney again?

Thanks so much for addressing my concerns! That really does make me feel better.

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From the tumblr Sydney is mid to late twenties and MC is around 20.

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Thanks a lot!

I have feeling mommy dearies coming back get oc

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Hi there everyone!

I already announced it on Tumblr, but the update will be coming this weekend. Worst case scenario, it comes out Monday.

It’ll include the other half of Chapter One, where you’ll get to meet the two other ROs, Max and Alex. After this, I’ll only update when each full chapter’s complete, so that way there’s more content.

See you soon! :relaxed:

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You got me hyped for the weekend

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That’s so nice of you to say!!

An update soon eh? I’ll make sure to clear my calendar of any non essential Pigeon related tasks!

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You’d better!!! :bird:

Wow, there really should be a pigeon emoji.

Or, well, a “you” emoji, I suppose.

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I couldn’t agree more!
>(`・⊝・´)<

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I actually really like the way you went about the reactions and the little absentminded habits of the MC. I understand that some people can be constantly haunted by such cruel treatment in youth, but for others, the effects may be more insidious. These people might function seemingly normally until one pays close attention to things like not trusting people, jumping at loud sounds, etc.

I can also say that, personally, I react to trauma by not thinking of it as trauma. The brain normalizes the entire experience and has trouble empathizing with others who had a more “standard” experience. The brain even comes to sympathize with the abuser. I’m glad that (in the beginning of the game at least) you gave us choices that were more neutral in emotional reaction because for many, dealing with trauma is an ambiguous path.

That said, really looking forward to this game and how the character interactions turn out. Already loving Dani!

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Thank you. That’s what I was going for, but since trauma is so personal, I believe it’s important to hear everyone’s two cents.

The MC is in a… weird place right now. They’re aware that they did not have a regular, healthy childhood, but, like you said, they’ve still normalized it, because it’s all they’ve ever known. I believe there’s also a good deal of repression going on; the more they think about Celeste, the worse they feel, so they try their best to not think about it. Of course she still comes up often - this type of thing always does -, but the MC reeally doesn’t want to deal with that.

It’ll blow up on their face eventually, since, well, this type of thing always does, and no one’s made of steel. Right now, the MC thinks they’re fine, which is why they behave the way they do in the beginning of the game.

You can’t run from the past, which is something they haven’t quite learned yet.

Thank you. :relaxed: Dani seems to be a popular character, I’ve noticed!

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Oh no. A tortured semi-self destructive MC? I’m all in! The Worst the choice… or is it worse? Anyway I’m all about making poor choices! The more problems I can have the better.

Enjoyed the start. Looking forward to more.

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The update has arrived!!!

As I’ve said, it’s a short one. You finally get to meet Alex and Max, though, the other two ROs!

It’s about 1 a.m where I am, and I’m very tired. If there’s any weird or dumb mistakes, you already know why. I’ve double checked, but you never know.

Don’t hesitate to tell me your opinions, either here or on Tumblr. I’m curious to see what people will make of these two characters.

Good night, and thank you all for your support so far! :crescent_moon:

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Goes back to meeting alex

:fox_face:

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I’m in the midst of playing your demo and I just wanna say, I would protect Sydney with my life. I’ll probably be back to give actual feedback lol, good work so far!

Update: I’ve played through all of Chapter 1 now! It was extremely enjoyable and I’m excited to read the rest! You have a style of writing that’s straightforward and smoothly moves the story along without taking away from the emotion the MC and other characters are/may be feeling. Each character I’ve met so far is very distinct in their behavior and dialogue, well done! I’m truly curious about all of them. (Sydney and Max are my faves so far, but Dani’s comments add to my entertainment and Alex needs a protection squad pronto heh :blush: ) Good luck with your WIP’s completion! I look forward to reading more :blush:

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