@Franzinyte Thanks for taking the time to point those things out! I will certainly try to do a better job of weaving the world building into the game going forward. Regarding the empathic manipulation option: This ability will start very subtly, but depending on the development path you choose, it can reach the disaster class ranking. Additionally, the MC will have skill options that will accompany their abilities.
Does this mean that you didn’t feel connected with the character at this point, or that the the choices and content didn’t feel relevant to the game play?
I didn’t feel connected at that point. It seemed obvious to me that it affects the stats though.
The first choice is basically:
#Of Course.
#No one should profit from the misfortune of others.
#Who Cares?
before you even establish that there’s a character.
The testing process is still part of the flashback, right? But since there’s some action going on it didn’t feel like it was to me.
Flashbacks work if it’s triggered by something. It’s boring if you start with it. Also, I might be a bit more invested in the backstory if we actually had some interaction with the parents. Maybe you can repurpose those questions into a conversation instead so it’s more “active”? (Not necessarily the parents, but I’m a sucker for parent interaction )
I guess the question is, what do you want the mood of your story to be? You should establish that in the first few pages. Right now it’s all backstory.
Edit: Is there a reason you can’t start the story just before the testing process (not in a flashback)? And then you can skip to the present if you want.
And ooh, now you’re making the empathic manipulation more interesting!
This game’s main point is to build a character that feels real. I was attempting to use the intro section to give the user a sense of the “big picture” for a more informed character build. I was hoping that this would provide a more organic feel, by allowing the environment to play a part in shaping the character’s personality from the ground up, rather than placing a randomly created character into a world that may not match. However, if this part is coming off as boring, I may need to rethink my approach!
I thought about this, but decided against it. I set the first reference to the character as an adult, because I didn’t want the game to read as a coming of age type game. The school section is going to be used to build the power sets, and will be wrapped up in chapter 2.
You have given me a lot to think about. Thanks!
Wow that was awesome. I love all the thought that you put in to the game so far! Also the way that we get our powers is really cool I don’t think I’ve seen a hero game like this can’t wait to try more.
Oh, I see. But remember, show, don’t tell! This is a story after all. I can give you a few examples from my WIP if you want. I actually started out writing a flashback too! It definitely is the most convenient way.
It seems like your story actually starts in chapter two, so I suggest starting there. Since it’s a school setting, I can see a lot of ways where you can integrate the personality quiz into the classes/training. It will slow the pace a bit, but that’s better than a lengthy prologue.
You just have to be a little creative.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I get that my stats are changing, but there’s no immediate impact, so it feels less satisfying.
Again, I like the world building, I’m just saying you can put it somewhere better.
@Isabella_Taylor Yeah I’ve gotten mixed reactions on the backstory/prologue, which I expected. Most have actually been in favor of the direction I have taken, but I guess as always it boils down to personal preference. I hope to find a happy balance, so that the story will appeal to a wider audience. Thanks for weighing in!
@Franzinyte Very helpful opinions! I love having people with differing perspectives provide feedback. And you made some excellent points. Thanks for caring! And I would love to read your WIP I’m sure it’s great
Correct. When the cubes split directions, it indicates dual resonance, which will give you wind manipulation, pyrokenisis, water manipulation, empathic manipulation, technomancy, gravity manipulation, organic manipulation, and absorb as options. With the exception of absorb, this is also the case for external resonance (when both cubes go up). Absorb is only available with dual resonance. When you have a single ability, you start with 25%. Strength, speed, agility, durability, flight, and shape shifting are available for internal resonance (if the cubes go down). You will be able to choose three of these. First choice gets 20%, second 10%, third 5%.
To be more precise, I appreciate the writing style, the character creation and the truly immense depth of the story, not to mention an abundance of choices. I always seem to find a path that appeals to me.
On a side note, however, I have found a small mistake in your work. But, since it’s still a draft, that is to be expected.
)
I actually started out writing a flashback too! It definitely is the most convenient way.
