Welcome to the Circus (WIP) - update on post 25

young-adult-fiction
low-fantasy
gender-choice

#1

Hey guys!

After further deliberations with myself, I have decided that I should probably post my own game that I’ve been working on just this week (secretly when I was bored during lectures in college). It’s called ‘Welcome to the Circus’.

“A mysterious circus with a mysterious reputation has recently arrived to your hometown. Your friend says it’s one of the most oldest circus that has ever existed and he’s been begging you to see it with him. What could go wrong right?”

It’s quite short since I’ve only started working on it for just a week. Only the prologue and a small portion of the first chapter has been done. I hope to keep working on it, though I’m not sure when it will be finished. Hope you guys like it! I would also really appreciate any form of feedback (cough since I’m still kinda new to writing content that is not fanfiction, ahem).

Warnings:

  • Clowns may be involved in the future.
  • Use of profanity.
Characters

Alonso Guillermo Black - Known as the Baron, he is also the owner of Cirque du Baron. He is a charismatic figure who knows his way around a crowd. Despite his welcoming attitude, he has plenty of secrets he is not so willing to disclose to anyone. Everyone knows not to make it as one of his enemies.

Garette King - The loud and outgoing bestfriend who was the one who introduced our little innocent protagonist to the circus. Although seemingly having an innocent personality, he has an odd fascination of the weird and macabre.

ROs:

Edgar ‘Eddy’ Burton - An optimistic man who is always willing to lend a hand to those that need it. His cheerful and carefree attitude is what makes him very likeable in the circus despite his appearance. He is also the kind of person who is willing to put others first before himself.

Dantae Manlangit - Dantae can often come off as an intimidating figure due to his quiet and stoic nature. He doesn’t really talk much and prefers his own company. The only people he’s close to and is seen talking to are Eddy, Dahut and Gwen.

Dahut - Not much is known about her other than she’s very knowledgeable, and that she’s said to be as old as the circus itself, despite her young appearance. She is very responsible and is very protective of the younger ones in the circus.

Gwendolyn Henrietta Black - Gwen is known as the Baron’s daughter. Unlike her father, she is shy and sweet, but also resourceful. She cares greatly for the circus inhabitants. Though not a performer, she oversees the maintenance of the circus and the special needs of the performers.

Demo:
https://dashingdon.com/play/cocomallowmocha/welcome-to-the-circus/mygame/

Update Log

14/10/2018 - added character customisation options.


#2

Soooooo…circus…

I saw one when I was like 5 years old ! on Teevee!..

then never again lol

So weird creepy circus ? Or circus where we save the animals ?

and don’t dismiss fanfictions . Some fanfictions authors were ones of the best I read , and their fanfictions became real books lol .

and don’t think about when it’s finished . From my experience , its the story that decide when it’s over . Not you .

and prepare to be haunted by groupies…muahahaha…

ahem…should’ve used my inside voice for that last part…

looking forward to reading more! Good luck ! :slight_smile:


#3

Hey, good start! I like the setting of the festival and the circus. The prologue left me intrigued as to who those characters where. Dantae seems gloomy :grinning:

I also liked the roommate even if the interaction wasn’t very long. Maybe add dialogue options as we’re talking with him? It would give the vibe that the MC is more mine, you know?

I’m definitely interested in reading more. Hope you keep at it.

Also, found a small typo.


#4

Thank you! :smiley: And it’s more of a creepy circus with an even more creepy owner. Though there’d also be animals!

I forgot to mention that there would be magic involve. (I should probably include that in the tags lol)


#5

oh…

I though creepy like…hum…y’know…the old circus with say like weird stuff lol

I only got the JAR episode of hitchcok in my mind now lol


#6

Punch a clown option


#7

Hey! :smiley: thanks for pointing that out. I’ll fix that right away so I won’t forget. I’ll also try to add more dialogue options.

Dantae is pretty gloomy and quiet. He’s also one of the ROs :slight_smile:


#8

Oh is this normal creepy or evil creepy I was part of an role-play with a screwed up carnival once. Lots of death in the funhouse.


#9

Umm probably creepy evil? The baron (also owner) is kinda evil.


#10

I should tell you about Thaddeus Rothschild. Sold his soul to old gods for power and captures souls I his cavalcade of delights torturing them for eternity and using their despair to grow more powerful feeding certain souls to his masters. Those in the funhouse were driven to murder or suicide. The hall of mirrors reflected your different personality attributes, etc.


#11

Wow that’s pretty dark :open_mouth:
I think the circus will be normal creepy then :smiley:


#12

I don’t know if this matter or not…

but may wanna put on warning (when you have more to your demo) about stuff like clowns and such . I know some peoples have fears of those…

so…just in case ?


#13

To be fair, a circus is, in itself, kinda creepy.

at least to me, those damn clowns :persevere:


#14

Cool me intrigued; can’t give a full impression but i do like the engery of your writing. The character really do seem to pop


#15

Of course. Thanks for reminding me :slight_smile:

@Anathema Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. Clowns terrified me as a kid to the point of wailing when seeing one :sweat_smile:

@Megus Thank you! :smiley:


#16

Oh, I’m looking forward to your game! Short as the demo is, I still enjoyed your writing.

I found a small typo: “stormy grey eyes full of curousity”. Curiosity.

I don’t if is just me, but “before stretch my arms out”, stretch out sounds weird? It would sound better as “before stretching my arms out?” And there’s a tense change between scenes, from present to past.

Still good though!


#17

Oh, sounds pretty interesting! I liked those 3 mysterious characters… But they sound like they should be really exotic, so i think it would be a good idea to describe their physical features, else my imagination gets confused ^^’
It was pretty fun to interact with the friend character(he also could use some physical descriptions), i just wish we had more choice on how the protagonist acts, i feel like they already have too much defined personality in the way they think and act(but if that is your intention, that’s okay. It’s not what i prefer, but SoH wasn’t less fun because of it! ‘u’)


#18

I love your writing style, although this is a short demo it does seem interesting. I will definitely be looking forward to Future updates. Good luck and keep up the awesome writing.


#19

I love your writing and I am really interested in the story.
But I can’t get the creepy part out of my mind. Is it going to be like freak show and strange oddities, insect shows, and other real but odd things. Or creepy monsters and dark magic?


#20

I only ask because between Supernatural and Dungeons and Dragons I have seen some messed up circuses