Good eyes 
Damn. I did not expect the conversation to play out the way it did between Narmer and his wife. Or that he even had one at all!? I played a blasĆ© character who didnāt care, but me irl was so gagged! He really let my naĆÆve angel spill her awkward heart out to him, liked it, and then didnāt tell her he was married. Man is such a red flag even before he chokes out his wife and threatens to gut her.
Seriously though, it caught me so off guard. Iām not condoning the actions, but I really hope we see him get really scary towards the enemies in our favor so I can simp without my conscience smacking me around like Narmer was.
Though the way that my noble reacted to it was very in characterāstumped, shocked, horrified, a little overwhelmedābut still willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and pity him, even though irl that shit would be so not okay! Still, theyāre a very whimsical character. I just think you did such a good job there.
Also, the wife making the cutting remark about him being disgusting because of our age when we caught them (sheās 20-24, but I head canon 20 to make it even worse lol) and when Ahmose called our attraction to the king āso grossā too I laughed.
Ahmose was such a fun character! It was nice to see our noble get some time to shine by figuring out the investigation too. And the guy just staring at the wall made me snort.
Great update and thank you for sharing it.
5 Likes
Jesus, Narmer, be careful or youāll cut yourself on all that edgeā¦ oh, too late. Lots of fun and interesting moments in this chapter, but the wife beating certainly puts a damper on things. Will wait to see how it develops, but as it stands this hits a bit too close to home for my captain considering Hesetās backgroundā¦
Typos/etc
their noses are
surfaces
Not sure of the meaning here. Straight away? Straight up (honestly)?
to
or?
spot. Also, Petmes is great lol. So he may actually be 10k years old 
Who else do we know that looks younger than they are? Hey Qenna, whereās your glowing amulet?
cause
is
untampered
and?
what
have
Thebes?
capitalization
hasnāt
Ahmose pronoun error. Also, lol Ahmose is relatable playing floating corpse in the pool. And incredible visual of her pushing a giant, stoic captain into the water 
presence be known
drips
is
For consistencyās sake, most of the time you write it as āPetmesāsā
was
your?
repeated donāt
Itās never stated the captain gets dressed so I was fully picturing him still nude in the following scene 
And lastly, some continuity weirdness with Narmerās hand.
For a captain with romance points:
Itās never stated anyone put poultice on his hand.
For noble:
The degree of healing described made it sound like the wound would not reopen, unless heās drawing new blood with his nails?
1 Like
Yeah, Iām reconsidering my N (and potential A) romances now just as much as Iām leery of Q romance. Real world experience makes me not want anything to do with alcoholics or rageaholics (and a ragey parent often makes for ragey offspring as wellā¦)
Which really kind of sucks because thatās three out of four available (for me, given Iām not into women) romances. Why canāt my sad, shy noble have her dead husband back? Or Ebo? Iād take a chance on Ebo, he seems sweet.
4 Likes
Not sure if you use tumblr, but this was mentioned as a possibility. Not necessarily a romance, though.
2 Likes
Not on Tumblr, so I appreciate the heads-up!
2 Likes
New update chapter 1 vizer son when picking to go to yhe library when back at the palace after being binded by the priest i think this is the moment when the pharoh bumps into you and drops the wine
2 Likes
Restart every time you open the game and you wonāt get that
Interesting because i tend not to use the same function but itās still happening but Iāll find out a try thanks
Delete the cookies for the cogdemos website from your browser but donāt forget to save your game beforehand. Use the local save and export it to your device, then delete the cookies, then import back the saves.
5 Likes
ah an updateā¦ sadly the guy didnāt give me the cricket gun
The adventure only just started, so yes, there will be a lot more coming 
Thatās good to hear! Iām planning to add more options later in Chapter 4 to fine-tune about how you feel about that scene and Narmer once the MC has time to calm down and analyze their own feelings 
The coding part is still a question mark haha so Iām not sure yet how Iām gonna do it, if I should make restrictions about it or notā¦ I donāt want to ask the readers the same questions again, so maybe Iāll make it in a way that if you chose to be scared/shocked, then youāll get to choose more negative feelings, and if you chose simply uncomfortable/pity, then you get more neutral options. Iām not sure yet, but Iāll do my best to try to make it feel in-character for every option without feeling like youāre just repeating the same choices again.
Petmes and Qenna work in mysterious ways lmao
No, thatās just my mistake. It shouldnāt be bleeding anymore if Petmes heals it, I just need to put a temp variable there, which I forgot 
Thank you again for the grammar fixes and the spotting of these inconsistencies! I spent most of this week editing out the mistakes and I thoughtā¦ surely I caught most of themā¦ Well, oops (Iām sure there is more that none of us have noticed). Iāll fix them in the next update
Ebo might be added as a half-romance later. I canāt promise anything just yet, but Iām strongly considering it.
7 Likes
Iām loving it, just a noticing continuity errors when playing with my one eyed guard, forgetting that he has one eye and an eye socket
Also when Z arrives at the tavern to meet my guard at the start it assumes that my guard locked the jewels up when he gave them back to the screeching banshee of a noble woman.
2 Likes
The eye thing is probably going to stay that way because itās the captainās force of habit of referring to their eye as āeyesā and not āone eye and a hole/patch/glass eyeā. The text also hasnāt specified yet if they have a glass eye or not, which I was thinking to add later during the eye color choice. When itās very obvious that the text is supposed to be talking about only one eye though, thatās a mistake and I should fix that. Zaia looking for injuries in the captainās surviving eye is a good catch, thank you!
Can you please include some screenshots of this part? Or just copy-paste the text, thatās fine too. I was searching the text just now but I couldnāt find the error without context because that part has a massive amount of variations
2 Likes
Loved the update! I enjoy this story so much!
1 Like
Itās this part, I gave the necklace back to the noble woman but my guard says itās in the evidence storage
Thank you
Ah, I see. What did you do with the thief? I mean, did you catch her and let her go, or did you lock her up, did you not catch her but swore to find her later etc?
1 Like
My guard is terrible at lying, I let the kid go and took the necklace. I gave it back to the noblewoman and told her that the thief got away
1 Like
Thanks, Iāll look into it! At this point, Iād say I probably forgot to write out that possibility completely lol. Iāll come back to it tomorrow 
If only people paid a sliver of their time to read the thread. But no. That way, I can feel helpful by parroting someone elseās words.
2 Likes