I’m no expert writer either, this is my first time writing something that isn’t a college essay. The problem with that scene is that I wanted to keep some parts of it mysterious! Using the word “figure” was a way to keep the two characters in an air of vagueness. I had only two other words that I felt conveyed that, which is “person” or “thing”.
Those two words felt a little weird and it felt weirder when I mixed them in. This isn’t to say that I don’t get what you mean. I very much agree with you in this, but unless I can figure out some way to rewrite it while keeping it mysterious, this might stay as is.
I’m thinking of just saying the gender of the person instead of just keeping it unknown. Maybe that will still keep the air of mystery since I didn’t outright say the name? Honestly, I’m open to any suggestions on that.