Virtue's End (WIP), a dark fantasy story

Note:
The discussion has moved towards the NSFW thread! Link here. All new updates will be posted there from now on.

Old post:
Hello everyone!

I’ve been working on my first game in my free time as a side project and I’ve reached a point where some of it is finally playable. I’d love to receive feedback on whether everything is working correctly and to see if anyone would be actually interested in playing it, haha. Thanks for checking it out!

Also: English isn’t my native language and I have no prior experience with coding, so any and all feedback is welcome! :cherry_blossom:


Summary:
Virtue’s End is a dark fantasy story in which you play as a supernaturally gifted monster hunter called a helvling, a human whose soul has been bound to an entity from the shadow plane known as Hel. Usually, such a harsh fate is reserved only for the lowest of criminals, as penance for their loathsome deeds. You wouldn’t know if your fate has been deserved, however, since upon completion of the Binding, all former memories of your life have been lost.

You’ve been moulded into a weapon by the Virtuous Order, trained to be an unfeeling and ruthlessly efficient monster… But is that who you really are? Who are you?

Features
  • Play as a fully customisable MC, including gender, orientation, physical appearance, etc.
  • Choose to be Bound to one of four (4) different helspawn entities, all of which have their own abilities and properties.
  • Romance up to eight (8) ROs, all of which can be flipped between female or male.
  • Find your way in a world that treats you with scorn, whilst trying to retain what’s left of your sanity.
  • Fight terrifying creatures and entities from the shadow plane called Hel.
  • Seek answers to the mysterious origins of an event known as the Catastrophe, which brought the world to ruin little more than over 100 years ago.
  • Help or hinder a group of rebels intend on destroying the established order.
  • Discover the truth of your past…
  • … and more!
Companions (minor spoilers)

The Revolutionaries:

The Mage

Idrissa/Idris Renske. F/M. 29. 5’9”/176 cm. Wispy black hair, fair skin, dark brown eyes. (Moodboard)

They are a brilliant and gifted mage that turned traitor to the Empire and Order after making a shocking discovery. Due to their upbringing and previous position in life, they’ve grown privileged and slightly arrogant, but are now finally seeing the world for what it truly is. They’re willing to make amends and do what must be done, for the good of the realm.

Idris/Idrissa is of average height, with a slender and graceful build. They mostly dress in elegant yet practical clothing in various colours of dark blue or black. Their wispy hair is long, reaching to mid-back, and it is usually tied back in a top-knot or half-up. They’re very proficient in all sorts of magick.

The Protector

Penrose Sadrahar. F/M. 34. 6’5”/196 cm. Coiled dark brown hair, dark skin, dark green eyes. (Moodboard)

A stalwart companion of Guinn, Penrose can never be found too far away from them. Having served as their guardian for the past 13 years, the two have become nearly inseparable. Despite their occupation, Penrose is actually very kind-hearted and thoughtful. They’re compassionate and show their affections easily.

Penrose is very tall, towering over most people with a formidable and hulking build. They’re usually clad in their templar armour, which consists of various pieces of embellished gold-plated platemail. Their black hair is tightly finger-coiled, reaching to just above their shoulders. They wield a shield and longsword and have some minor knowledge of combat magick.

The Liquidator

Eiri/Eir Finvrir. F/M. 26. 5’9”/174 cm. Lanky white blonde hair, deathly pale skin, icy blue eyes. (Moodboard)

How Eir/Eiri came to join the group is a mystery, but nevertheless the mysterious wanderer has joined forces with them against the Empire and the Order. They have a caustic personality and find most social interactions very tedious. Their outlook on life is extremely cynical.

Eir/Eiri is of average height and has a lean, sinewy build with long legs. They’re mostly dressed in all-black or dark grey, with various wickedly sharp knives hidden upon their person. Their lanky hair is uneven but reaches to about chin-length, and it usually looks like they’ve messily brushed it back too many times with their hands. They’re proficient in illusory magick.

The Druid

Sutton Kinney. F/M. 27. 6’2”/189 cm. Wavy light auburn hair, tan skin, light green eyes. (Moodboard)

The group meets Sutton on their travels, during a less than ideal situation. Having nothing left, they propose to join, lending their considerable skill in nature magick to the group. Sutton is a very standoff-ish person, who has no patience for people who are frivolous or otherwise airheaded (in their opinion). Due to previous events, they’re left bottling up a lot of anger, and they’re not always successful in keeping all of it contained.

Sutton is a tall person with a lean and agile build honed whilst spending years in the outdoors. They’re usually clad in brown hide armour and furs, wearing a dark blue shirt underneath. If male, their wavy hair is longer on top and shorter on the sides; if female, their hair reaches to about their shoulders and is often braided. An old scar runs across their left eyebrow. They wield a longbow and an engraved handaxe. They’re very proficient in nature magick.

The Scoundrel

Sinclair Colepepper. F/M. 24. 5’8”/172 cm. Curly ginger hair, rosy skin, blue/green eyes. (Moodboard)

Sinclair’s reasons for joining the group aren’t entirely related to the revolution, but Sinclair is nevertheless stuck with them for now. Their greatest skill is the use of their mouth, in more ways than one. They possess a natural sort of charm that most people can’t help but find appealing and Sinclair makes great use of this, conning people out of their valuables left and right. Their personality can be described as jovial, flirtatious, and slightly mischievous.

Sinclair is of average height with a lithe and willowy build. They like to wear colourful and stylish clothes which show off their best assets. If male, their curly ginger hair is kept short and messy; if female, it is kept long and flowy. They’re not very skilled with weapons and only carry a small dagger with them (more for looks than anything else, really). They have some very minor skill with enchantment magick.

The Dreamer

Guinn Bedirsa. F/M. 20. 5’6”/167 cm. Poofy light brown hair, bronze skin (freckled), grey eyes. (Moodboard)

Guinn has spent their entire life being watched over in a gilded cage. They long to be free, to use their powers for good, to just experience the world and all it has to offer. The only person that they feel they can trust completely is Penrose, who has practically raised them from a very young age. Guinn likes to see the good in everyone and they are hopelessly optimistic. They’re genuinely good and kind, which is something you don’t see very often.

Guinn is a short person with an average build, unaccustomed to any form of physical labour. They’re dressed in various layers of grey robes and their forehead is marked with a graceful silvery rune. Their light brown hair is soft and poofy and hangs like a halo around their head. Guinn has no experience fighting and does not wield a weapon.

The Enlightened Empire and the Virtuous Order:

Your Keeper

Shea Clane. F/M. 39. 6’1”/186 cm. Glossy raven hair, olive skin, pale grey eyes. (Moodboard)

Shea has served as your Keeper for the past six years, turning you from a feral monster into a person that somehow resembles something approaching human. They’re not unkind, but they’re very stern and have a strong preference for a strict routine. They rarely show any sign of emotion.

Shea is tall and broad-shouldered with a powerful build and muscular arms and legs, which are mostly hidden behind layers of leather armour, warm furs, and a thick dark grey cloak. They wear their glossy hair in a tightly pulled back ponytail. They wield a sword and are proficient in the use of combat magick.

The Enforcer

Elexis Selwyn. F/M. 24. 5’11”/180 cm. Bright-red straight hair, fair skin, blue eyes. (Moodboard)

Not much is known about Elexis except for the fact that they’re employed by the royal family in some capacity. They have some history with Shea, but your Keeper is tight-lipped about it. Elexis likes to take jabs at people and press their buttons, to see what makes them tick. They also tend to act slightly melodramatic and over-the-top, and are very forward.

Elexis is of slightly taller than average size, with a nimble and athletic build. They most often wear form-fitting leather armour which has been dyed a dark colour, with a deep dark red cloak. Their hair, an unusual bright-red colour not unlike the colour of freshly spilled blood, reaches to just below their ears. They’re equipped with two curved swords of excellent make and are proficient in combat magick. They have a scar on their chin.


Click here for the demo: Demo Link


Notes: Last updated on 20 November!
For detailed updates and other in-depth info, please check out the game’s tumblr.

Changelog
  • (Nov 20, 2020) Update 1.4: word count updated to 27,110. In this update, the PC can visit Elexis!
  • (Nov 15, 2020) Update 1.3: word count updated to 18,504! This update includes a lot of changes and has one additional branching path, please check the pinned post at my tumblr for more info.
  • (Nov 4, 2020) Update 1.2: word count updated to 8,266, prologue completed, over half of chapter 1 completed
Next update
  • Working on Shea’s branch and fleshing out some more of the story in the other branches.
327 Likes

I really enjoyed your demo! Will the circumstances that brought us to the Virtuous Order be explored at some point in the game? Or will that be up to individual head canon?

The writing is really clear and strong. Also I already love Shea. Maybe Elexis, but definitely Shea.

I will be very hopefully watching for more information and updates. :slight_smile:

4 Likes

To Valhalla

Great start so far. Interested on where it’s going.

Ooh I love what you have so far! The writing is immersive and the character interactions are extremely fun to read. I can’t help but find myself loving Shea and Elexis already haha! :joy:

Some suggestions:

The part where you chose your skin color was a bit off in terms of transitioning into the choice. Might I suggest rephrasing the lead-up sentences into something like “You stare down at your emaciated body clad only in a plain brown shift. A film of sweat and grime accompanies a sickly tinge to your… [insert choice]”?

I also noticed that there was a pov change after choosing your subject of binding. Maybe it would be good to add a quick little transition blurb such as mc losing consciousness or something so that the change in perspective is a bit less jarring?

Other than those small suggestions, I’m really excited to see what else you have in store for this game! :star_struck:

2 Likes

I enjoy this so far! I did notice, however, I chose to set all ROs to male yet still had to choose if Shea and Elexis male or female. I’m assuming this is because they’re not planned as full ROs, so if that’s the case, then I understand! Either way, I look forward to updates. Your writing is very smooth and easy to understand, so yay!

2 Likes

That was awesome!! I’m loving everything from the setting to characters to personality/customization options, you’ve definitely hooked me and I’m looking forward to more! (Also Shea already has me like :pleading_face: :heart:)

@Crimsis This looks really interesting. I felt a little confused by the descriptions of the demons though, particularly how they relate to the stats. I picked the purple one and it increased my intelligence… and my charm? I thought the blue demon was charm.

1 Like

I love it!

1 Like

Waaaaaaahh, it’s so gooooood!!! Can’t wait for more!

Oh, oh! I have a question!! Does Elexis know that Clane is Shea’s surname? I think it’d be cool if Elexis reacted when you take on Shea’s surname(or not !!)

That is all, lovely author, take care!

2 Likes

Will the circumstances that brought us to the Virtuous Order be explored at some point in the game? Or will that be up to individual head canon?

There’s definitely history there that will be explored further on in the story!

3 Likes

I definitely can see what you mean regarding the character customisation and POV change! Thanks so much for your feedback, I’ll edit it a bit in the next update.

1 Like

Regarding your spoiler text:

You’re correct that Shea and Elexis technically aren’t ‘full’ ROs at this point in the game. They currently fulfill a different role in the story and I really liked the idea of, for example, being able to somewhat customise your relationship to and the identity of your keeper/mentor (e.g. seeing them in a motherly/fatherly or big bro/sis role), seeing as that they’re the one you’re currently the most close to, whether your character wants to or not. Now, Elexis is a whole different ball game, haha.

Anyway, thanks so much for playing! :star_struck:

10 Likes

Hi! Thanks for playing.

I felt a little confused by the descriptions of the demons though, particularly how they relate to the stats.

All of the entities have a ‘main’ stat which receives the greatest boost, and then two of your other stats will also receive a big/minor boost. The mara (the purple one), for example, receives a major boost in intellect, a big boost in charisma, and finally a smaller boost in strength. The reason I coded it this way is that I didn’t want them to just be defined to a single stat increase— they all have areas in which they excel and some of them overlap a bit.

I’ll be adding some text to the next update to hopefully make it a bit more clearer for the player!

7 Likes

Does Elexis know that Clane is Shea’s surname?

They do know, actually! That’s actually a really nice idea— the game does track if the player has chosen Shea’s surname. I’ll see if I can add something like it in the next update! :blush:

15 Likes

the story looks very promising and i’m in love with your writing style. good luck! (:

3 Likes

chapter1 line 73: It is illegal to fall out of a *choice statement; you must *goto or *finish before the end of the indented block.

2 Likes

I’m sorry, I haven’t been able to reproduce that error. Does it occur when you’re specifying your relationship with Shea?

1 Like

I love the game . I want to offer a few suggestions
1.The description on the page breaks may be too long and may appear funny on mobile devices.
2.I set Shea as a female ; all is right except her gender.I’ll attach a screenshot.

1 Like

It keeps telling me I “can’t embed media in a post” . The main thing is that I described Shea to be a woman and it described her as one but her gender says female . Maybe you set her gender as male instead of female

1 Like