Villain: The Catalyst [Updated - 12/24/17]

young-adult-fiction
super-powers
gender-choice

#101

I’m not used to playing games where you start out as the bad kid >:D This will be fun.

One choice I’m really confused about though is when we have the option to either ask Kadin or Trenton for help I don’t know if it was just in my play through but I haven’t even talked to these characters before. The option seemed kind of nonsensical to me there, even if it doesn’t have an immediate effect since both of the groups are lil bitches


#102

Yea I’m going to add a counseling scene in the next update where you will be able to meet them all before your first in-team scrimmage to fix that problem. Someone else pointed out that problem as well.

What do you mean by that? And that last part had me dying. :rofl:


#103

I mean, it wasn’t nonsensical. But it kind of was? I swear I can explain…
Making a different choice didn’t seem to give a huge difference. Does that mean that we get an invisible boost? Could there ever be an option of not relying on the group but just going into action straight away after noticing their lack of action?


#104

Ahh that’s what I thought you meant, it’s more so a fake choice than anything else. As well as just a choice to show that the risks of helping you out is greater than the risks of not. So, let’s say it’s not that they don’t want to as much so that they don’t want the trouble that comes with it.


#105

Loved the update!!!:smile:


#106

Ah, fake choice. That’s the word I was looking for! Thank you for the reply


#107

Any uhhhh good Samaritan wanna help me out, with the Computer password…?


#108

GBRJ_0922Lawerence


#109

this fun i hope you update


#110

Duely appreciated…


#111

Update Announcement: I’m so happy I can finally post this, I am way too early in writing this story for me to have gone back like I did, to change all of this. But I did and I am so happy I’m done with it lol. The newest chapter will be coming soon, maybe before Sunday or on Sunday.

  • The story is now in first person point of view with past tense. I did this because I just feel comfortable with this style of writing and I feel like I can write better because of it, is that weird? Does anyone else have that problem? But if you see anything that still says ‘you’ then please inform me. Also I’m sure there will still be plenty of incorrect tense changes cos like I always say, I suck at that.

  • Some of the characters have new names because why, initials. Yep, I literally changed names because the initials were too close. Like TM and TW, I couldn’t stand it. So Reese Cabrera was Toni Whittaker, Leto was Kadin, and Jordan’s last name was changed to Vega.

  • I added a new immediate prologue and added and tweaked some areas as well. And a added scene to better get to know all of your favorite soon to be a-hole teammates.

  • The stats have been added to and will continue to be changed as I try to figure out which stats are actually working with the story and aren’t.

  • I added some new choices throughout the story, nothing too bad but for all of you who want to go straight villain. I’m trying to figure out how extreme should I get, cos I just don’t know honestly. But there’s an added killing scene and I’ve added a ‘People Killed’ and ‘People Saved’ stat cos who doesn’t want to keep up with that?!

I hope you guys like the new update and if not then leave that critical criticism.


#112

Found some continuity mistake :

I looked for Reese, trying to see if she needed help. I failed to find her, and I currently didn’t have the time to look for her. Reese knew how to fight, and if anything, how to run, she would be able to handle herself.

Then it just went to the part where you are in the interogation room. If I remember correctly, wasn’t there supposed to be a part where you get struck by a tranquilizer and, if your focus is high enough, actually destroy the serum?

EDIT :

Perspective mistake (I don’t really know what the technical term for it…POV error maybe?) :

“I’m Kalypso Walker,” the next one began, standing up shyly. She gave Leto a sympathetic look before looking at the rest of you.

This doesn’t feel right…shouldn’t it be ‘the rest of us’?


#113

Well i am a lone wolf type of villain plus extreme all depends on the persons point of view same with whats good and evil all depends on the person.


#114

Depends on your choice, if you killed the officers then it goes straight to blowing up the serum after the scene you pointed out and then to the interrogation.


#115

But then how did we get captured in the first place? If we killed the officers then that would mean that there would be no tranquilizer and no officer left to hold Reese hostage. IIRC.

Considering how easy the Boulder was to handle, and the heroes reluctance to actually kill a famous villain, much less a no-namer, I can easily picture how to distract both of them and exfiltrate the scene with Reese, even if she was defeated, using our current skill set. And it’s not like they’re both a high rank hero with incredible power, if those ‘hero’ group who harassed us are to be believed anyway, right? I don’t know what that woman in red and gold’s power is, but I’m quite confident we can just blind the both of them using absolute darkness, glide to Reese’s possition and then drag her out of the scene.


#116

During the prologue, you wrote “the pain is too much to bare.” It should be “bear”.


#117

I couldn’t quote the first part cos of the spoilers, but there’s more officers than just the ones you killed. There’s the ones that are still in the warehouse as well as the ones who left to go fight the gangs, if anything after everything went down, the officers would’ve called for reinforcements by then.

And you do make a great point, but Reese is unconscious when she’s captured so you’ll be doing all the heavy lifting. And though absolute darkness is a great power in almost any situation. With your current energy level, you’d have to maintain the darkness, grab and support Reese, and then use more energy to take out the cops and heroes who (because they’re mutants) have higher resistance and would a bit more pounding to incapacitate. And if you did kill the officers, then you’d have seen that simply doing that and maintaining the darkness was already detrimental to your health.

Did that make sense?

I hope this also doesn’t sound like I’m arguing with you or trying to prove you wrong, if anything I like the fact that you brought this all up because it makes me think through it and change what needs to be changed. :sweat_smile:


#118

Yes, it was foolish of me to think that there was no more cop around after we killed those who guarded the truck, I completely forgot that it was a large-scale operation. :sweat_smile:
And I suppose absolute darkness would be no help if they decided to surroud her in a circle so that if I decided to attack one of them physically, since maintaining two power at the same time for an extended period seems to be out of our capability for now, it would give away my position and would result in my arrest. Obviously we can’t over power multiple adult since super strength wasn’t a part of our power, I concede my defeat.

Oh no, no. It’s fine, I love arguing, as long as it doesn’t devolve into a shouting contest and insult badminton anyway. I personally believe that argument is a way to ascertain the truth of a situation, it brings about things you might have missed to your attention and brings new perspective to light. And as an aspiring author myself, I find that letting my friends reads my draft and listening to any possible plot hole or inconsistencies they find, and then arguing with them helps me improve my writing.
Besides, you present a fine point.


#119

I dunno, I like the idea of the possibilites that a branch off to a more ruthless MC being able to avoid capture with friend in tow opens up.

Police are often inclined to step back and try again later in order to minimise casualties/collateral damage in real life - that could be a viable option seeing that you’re willing to kill without much in the way of hesitation.

The deciding factor is only whether ToxicDreams wants to open up that extra work.


#120

I will admit like @LordOfLA pointed out, it would be interesting to see that play off. It would all have to somehow tie back into you getting pulled into the academy somehow but I feel like I could add that in sometime in the near future.

So I shall admit defeat as well @Nightgazer, cos being able to save your friend and get away would be awesome. I could probably make it tie in with the officer choice and if you have enough Focus perhaps.