Right, okay, new build.
Well, right at the start I kind of have a complaint. This choice on literally the first page with no text above it, depriving the reader of all context. While clever and thematic, this does more to confuse the reader and make the entire choice a coin flip, which should generally be avoided.
Looking at the stat screen, I have to wonder, are all these stats actually necessary? If each and every one somehow ends up impacting the story then absolutely keep them, but something tells me that’s not the case.
Especially seeing how, as before, I have yet to see a stat go above 60 or below 40. Everything sticks relatively to the middle, which results in an overall bland personality.
I lad there,
Should be laid
Other than what I stated, the prologue is overall better done by adding more interactivity to it. Forces me to actually read and understand what’s going on.
The parents intro is also better done. I get from the beginning that they love their kid, which was kind of harder to gleam from the father’s terse few words in the original version. Overall, the first ten pages or so are massively improved.
They whispered and spreaded rumors
Should be spread
Thought there are number
Should be though
Also on that scene, was that supposed to be the game determining our sexual preference? Because if so, we should probably know ahead of time what we’re choosing for.
We needed to ban together and stop them
Band, not ban
Now, all the way forward to the academy.
Doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of change, except now I’m getting hit on by Jordan. I guess, at this point, young Kal is aware of her growing femininity and how pretty she is, but doesn’t really care one way or the other. And that’s pretty much how she reacts to Jordan’s flirting, plain indifference.
I don’t quite remember if the instructor was in the original version or not. If she was, then she’s much more noticeable here. If she wasn’t, then she’s a good addition. In both cases, it’s nice to finally see a human who isn’t an asshole! Like, I know a lot of humans in real life, and while none of them are perfect, the vast majority of them that I personally know tend to be pretty decent!
So having a human character who’s actually decent does add some moral ambiguity to Kallissa’s whole “going to eradicate humanity” plan. Which, oddly enough, didn’t have much moral ambiguity before, seeing as how every human in the story was objectively horrible.
“Congrats Kalissa, you have a friend,” Reese pointed out, “though I must admit his seem a bit scarier than yours.”
Gasp. Someone mentioned that an MC with red eyes is kind of scary…my life is complete.
Like the whole meet and greet with the “ice breakers” that Katrina put us through. And the fact that frequent choices forced me to stop and read the text instead of skimming. Made me actually get to know the characters a bit more.
While doing the puzzle, I noticed that you took out the page with all the clues you collected. Thankfully I already knew the password from passing it previously, but this made the whole thing a lot harder.
So, I keep reading in the thread that there was an option to kill the police at the start, but I couldn’t find it. Did I just read too fast?
Actually…I think I’ll pass this time around, seeing a how, at least on the path I took, there isn’t really any new story, just more fleshed out original story. Which did help with molding how my character sees the world, and I can see some of Kalissa’s philosophy leaking into the story (mutants shouldn’t fight mutants, world domination is goal, that kind of stuff).
But, seeing as how there’s no new story to retell…I guess my review just ends here.
Looked through the stat screen and ran into an error when trying to look at powers.
choicescript_stats line 176: non-existent variable “mutant”