Villain: The Catalyst [Minor Update and Poll - 09/08/18 - ]

super-powers
young-adult-fiction
gender-choice

#121

Shouldn’t be too hard to have the police/heros be better prepared for their next encounter with the MC and have them wind up in the academy.

Our first escape can easily be seen as the police having a “woah! hold up! We need to come at this differently!” moment, then the second encounter of better prepared and far more experienced forces being about to collect MC without much fanfare, neatly pulling us back into the academy thread.

That is unless you want to go all out on a non-academy branch too :stuck_out_tongue:


#122

What’s the password dose anyone know


#123

Its further up in the thread.


#124

At least twice… (20 annoying characters)


#125

I think the new tense change makes it read worse in my opinion. I feel like it isn’t as immersive or engaging since it’s past tense 1st person.

Like it takes me out of the action more.


#126

Right, okay, new build.

Review portion:
Well, right at the start I kind of have a complaint. This choice on literally the first page with no text above it, depriving the reader of all context. While clever and thematic, this does more to confuse the reader and make the entire choice a coin flip, which should generally be avoided.

Looking at the stat screen, I have to wonder, are all these stats actually necessary? If each and every one somehow ends up impacting the story then absolutely keep them, but something tells me that’s not the case.
Especially seeing how, as before, I have yet to see a stat go above 60 or below 40. Everything sticks relatively to the middle, which results in an overall bland personality.

I lad there,
Should be laid

Other than what I stated, the prologue is overall better done by adding more interactivity to it. Forces me to actually read and understand what’s going on.

The parents intro is also better done. I get from the beginning that they love their kid, which was kind of harder to gleam from the father’s terse few words in the original version. Overall, the first ten pages or so are massively improved.

They whispered and spreaded rumors
Should be spread

Thought there are number
Should be though

Also on that scene, was that supposed to be the game determining our sexual preference? Because if so, we should probably know ahead of time what we’re choosing for.

We needed to ban together and stop them
Band, not ban

Now, all the way forward to the academy.
Doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of change, except now I’m getting hit on by Jordan. I guess, at this point, young Kal is aware of her growing femininity and how pretty she is, but doesn’t really care one way or the other. And that’s pretty much how she reacts to Jordan’s flirting, plain indifference.

I don’t quite remember if the instructor was in the original version or not. If she was, then she’s much more noticeable here. If she wasn’t, then she’s a good addition. In both cases, it’s nice to finally see a human who isn’t an asshole! Like, I know a lot of humans in real life, and while none of them are perfect, the vast majority of them that I personally know tend to be pretty decent!
So having a human character who’s actually decent does add some moral ambiguity to Kallissa’s whole “going to eradicate humanity” plan. Which, oddly enough, didn’t have much moral ambiguity before, seeing as how every human in the story was objectively horrible.

“Congrats Kalissa, you have a friend,” Reese pointed out, “though I must admit his seem a bit scarier than yours.”
Gasp. Someone mentioned that an MC with red eyes is kind of scary…my life is complete.

Like the whole meet and greet with the “ice breakers” that Katrina put us through. And the fact that frequent choices forced me to stop and read the text instead of skimming. Made me actually get to know the characters a bit more.

While doing the puzzle, I noticed that you took out the page with all the clues you collected. Thankfully I already knew the password from passing it previously, but this made the whole thing a lot harder.

So, I keep reading in the thread that there was an option to kill the police at the start, but I couldn’t find it. Did I just read too fast?

Story Retelling:
Actually…I think I’ll pass this time around, seeing a how, at least on the path I took, there isn’t really any new story, just more fleshed out original story. Which did help with molding how my character sees the world, and I can see some of Kalissa’s philosophy leaking into the story (mutants shouldn’t fight mutants, world domination is goal, that kind of stuff).
But, seeing as how there’s no new story to retell…I guess my review just ends here.

EDIT:
Looked through the stat screen and ran into an error when trying to look at powers.
choicescript_stats line 176: non-existent variable “mutant”


#127

Does it remain unfair if neither one is a ‘wrong’ choice? The option really just changes where you’ll end up by the time the story catches up to the present? If so then I’ll look into changing it.

Ha! Completely agree. I feel like a lot of the stats are going to start showing once you’re out of the academy and what not, that’s why I didn’t want to take them down yet. But best believe, they are still being tweaked.

Wait, Kalissa doesn’t want to kill her!! :open_mouth:

Whoa, it should definitely still be there. slinks away to fix that obvious error

When trying to get the serum, choose absolute darkness.

I think I answered and questioned everything I wanted, always nice hearing your critique and thoughts.


#128

Of course she does! Humanity must die, and she is human!

But I will be very sad when she does.

Also, something weird on the stats. It says Kalissa killed someone, but not a single mutant has died by her hand and none ever will.
Humans don’t count.


#129

There is a bug in the serum chapter that if you kill the guards you won’t get a option to destroy the serum but it just skips immediately to the next chapter after saying this:
I looked for Reese, trying to see if she needed help. I failed to find her, and I currently didn’t have the time to look for her. Reese knew how to fight, and if anything, how to run,
she would be able to handle herself.


#130

It’s not an error, further up in the thread we talked about this as well. You automatically destroy the serum because of certain reasons.


#131

Also, in respects to this. Would you all like to claim your sexual preference or to keep it open so you can choose whoever?

I mean, I guess there wouldn’t really be a big difference. The biggest difference would be that the romances would have a chance to pursue you first. For example at the moment, you have to make the first move mostly, to prove that you’re interested. If I add the sexual preference then I can write some of them making the first move and you just have to accept it or deny it.


#132

Another possibility; leave the sexual preference open and have whoever is the most likely to make a move in that scenario make a move (based on relationship bar, or other factors in the story).


#133

How do you get to destroy the serum?


#134

By either passing the skill check regarding focus or killing all the officers when given the choice.


#135

I didn’t get the achievement this way though. Only got the achievement when they lived and I had enough focus to fight


#136

Because I do believe I forgot to put the achievement there, thank you for pointing that out. :grin:


#137

Will we ever get to get back at the so called heroes for their behavior?


#138

Oh yea, most definitely.


#139

Will acid to the face be involved? Or fire? Or something else that is slow and painful without sacrificing certainty of death?


#140

Lol I was planning to add a few options that differ in extremes and punishments. But seeing that you might not be near any available acid at the time, probably not. The fire one though . . .