Oh crap I’m the mafia
Looks very promising, can’t wait for see more of it.
So was our father the head of the crime family and vigilante at the same time?? Can we do both roles as well
Man I really like the I dea of Mc and Ash being feral together. I hope it would be possible to make a calm mc on the surface that’s gonna transform you in a pancake if you are mean to their friends or them.
Anyway I really loved the writing, very detailed but not too much you know? I wish you luck in completing this story!
The story has a hook and I’m the fish that took the bait. Can’t wait to see how the story progresses.
I’ll admit im a sucker for a good revenge tale but my bias aside this sounds neat and i hope it goes well for you.
Best of luck and i look forward to diving into your story in the moderately near future
Really loved what you have so far.
I can’t wait to see where it goes! As a friends to lovers clown, I can already tell that I would die for Ash.
I liked the Demo so far and i can’t wait to see more of it.
Wow this is great! Love the demo so far too bad it end in such a cliffhanger.
I like the demo. Keep it up great work.
я не очень это поняла,Виктор(имя),Морозов(фамилия),а к чему тут надпись ‘[Last Name]’
Thank you everyone for such an overwhelming positive words and feedback I’m absolutely floored right now
I saw some comments mentioning that the changes in tenses felt a bit jarring. Should I just change the whole Chapter 1 into present tense to help make the story flows more smoothly? I initially chose past tense because it was a flashback, but the readers also already know that since it’s pretty clear that MC is currently dreaming about the events that happened 15 years ago.
- Change Chapter 1 into Present Tense
- Keep Chapter 1 in Past Tense
@Fenrir1 Yes, I think you’ll be able to really specialize in one of the powers while still keeping the other power at a decent level and also focus on one of the skills (Combat / Charisma / Intelligence). Also, I’m planning the story to not be too stat focused; there’ll be some stat check here and there but mostly, the skill stats are also for more flavour text on how MC will respond to a situation using their preferred strength.
@Drakona Yes! In the future, you’ll be able to play a more pacifist/merciful MC and I’m planning to accommodate readers who are interested in playing MC that won’t kill anyone else in the future.
@Paradox1 Thank you for taking the time to point them out! I’ll try and fix them as soon as possible. Do you think it’ll be better if I just change the whole Chapter 1 into present tense instead?
@Big_fan1231 MC’s father used to be the designated heir/successor to his father, the current head. But then, he ran away from home and went to Elysium City on some sort of self-imposed exile and became a vigilante to atone for what he did or forced to do while being raised and groomed to be the next head. When MC was born, he stopped being a vigilante and fully lived as a civilian working a mundane job to provide for you.
As for MC, currently, I’m planning to have 3 endings:
- MC becomes the new head of the Morozov Family, with the help, guidance, and support from Luka (and your grandfather).
- MC becomes a vigilante, following their father’s footsteps.
- MC becomes a superhero, with the help and support from their mother.
@XaosMinion What a power couple and yes, that’s the type of MC that I like to play in other IFs, so I will definitely accommodate MCs that are calm and nice to their family and friends, but can also be ruthless to their enemies.
@Takashi_Shin Haha Yes, you are currently under the protection of your uncle, who’s currently in charge of the family branch in Elysium City
@kneesama That’s a relief! I’m usually worried I’ve written too much details
@Kelsey Aww I’m glad that you love Ash! And just know that Ash would die for you too
@Anastasia_Goryushina I’m sorry if it’s confusing for you, it’s my mistake. What I meant was that Viktor has two last names: the fake one that he used while he was on the run (also the one that MC currently uses and the readers can pick) and his real last name and identity as a member and heir of the Morozov Family. I’ll change the wording in the post. I just realized that it could be confusing for Russian readers because of the Russian naming convention that usually use a middle patronymic name. I hope I’ve answered it correctly, since I had to google translate your question
Ah, I see, thank you for the explanation.
Do you plan on uploading the RO’s portraits using artbreeder?
Oi there @jsc it’s very good, the plot is interesting so far, I’m assuming you’re gonna develop it further?
For me MC at times felt like they were a bit too emotional even with stoic stat at high, it’s understandable when it comes to their father’s death but at other situations it felt a bit odd. Either way this is very impressive, looking forward to get more content…
Hmm, I personally feel since we’re reliving the past through MC’s thoughts in chapter 1, it’ll be better suited if it’s in past tense. Though I think you can use both past and present just have to make sure that they’re not used together in the same para or sentence. I voted the same in the poll, good thinking on putting that up btw, will give you an idea what the others think about it
I already know Ash is getting the nickname Mad Dog for being so rash and violent yet being loyal and protective, which works for my stoic future Mob Boss.