Venatici House (WIP) (Demo Released 11/8/20)

Asian teen girls with long hair you mean? 'Cause I had no problem cutting my own hair when I had long hair (shoulder length ~ bob cut). I was talking about guys and the rare girls with short hair.

1 Like

I was also talking about the girls with short hair. They really have no problems cutting it. :sweat_smile: My friends do it a lot, I am honestly impressed. :joy: In general, of course.

What is this magic that they perform and how can I learn it

2 Likes

Confidence, my friend. :joy: Letā€™s stop talking about hair and get back to the demo. :sweat_smile:

Played the demo and Iā€™m loving it. I already love Gil and Eddie! (As someone that watched pandora hearts in Japanese I always pronounced it as gill lol).

I checked out your Tumblr and the picrews are really cute, good for references too.

Also, that potential RO called Lemon Sorbet. I laughed but I like the name so Iā€™m looking forward to meet himšŸ˜‚ (also hoping he really becomes an RO).

I definitely like the power of MC, well done and the consequences feel real. Gil is shady as fuck (first thought was heā€™s with those guild raiders lol) but I like him a lot so I give him the benefit of the doubt xD

Otto is an interesting name for a woman. But as someone that kinda grew up with Lady Oscar (tho I was waaaay too young to really remember anything but the opening song) I totally understand the appeal of a traditional maleā€™s name for a womanšŸ¤£

Enough rambling, Iā€™m looking forward to more!

2 Likes

I usually donā€™t fall for boys that easily, especially the extroverted onesā€¦

But Gil...

image

Iā€™m so worried about the gun tho, omg, I hope itā€™s nothing too bad.

I really like it so far! Lots of options with different dialogues/responses for each of them. I tried all the options of meals when Gil asks us what weā€™d like to have for dinner :stuck_out_tongue: as well lots of answers when Gil asks us if we like music.

I just wanted to ask thoā€¦ Umm, like, we can pick Eddieā€™s gender already, soā€¦ Would I be asking too much for you to add an option for them being non-binary? Or maybe the RO weā€™re not meeting in this book? tā€™s just, I donā€™t know, I feel so alone when my MC is the only nb person in a gameā€¦ :worried:

1 Like

@rkgk Glad youā€™re liking it! Itā€™s highly likely he will be one, seeing that people are liking him so far. Gil definitely seems shady at first lmao, and I donā€™t blame you for thinking that (iā€™d say more on the guild raiders but thatā€™d be spoilers haha)
Thank you! I just really like it lol (but there is a bit more to it too though I suppose, thinking about her backstory :slight_smile: )

@Nael Iā€™m happy to hear you tried out the different options! That conversation was hellish to code lol. Also, I totally hear you. I donā€™t think Iā€™ll add an option for Eddie to be non-binary, but Iā€™ll add an option for the RO in the next book to be non-binary!

4 Likes

This is really interesting and Iā€™m super interested in the incident of Eddie and of Gil. Iā€™m looking forward to an update and I really like the way you write.

5 Likes

I have so many questions! Lol. I like how several characters/situations have an air of mystery around them.

For example, initially I suspected the ā€œincidentā€ was about MC accidentally killing someone, but given how MC can choose to react when they learn their roommate killed someone, Iā€™m assuming thatā€™s not the case (if it is, that would seem very hypocritical lol). So now Iā€™m left trying to guess what the power of ā€¦ seduction? Idk lol could have led to. Enough to drive someone crazy, maybe?

Meanwhile, Gil is barely around unless heā€™s making MC food or storing guns, apparently which makes me wonder not only what happened before, but what heā€™s up to now!

1 Like

sees guitar case
Me: hey Iā€™ve seen this one before.
Also me: hmm powers? There canā€™t be that powerful right? Sees time traveler and actual inmortal. O.o

Oh and this book is quite cool and kinda funny so I liked it.

2 Likes

Very fascinating! Canā€™t wait for more ^-^

1 Like

Iā€™m guessing the powers ended up turning someone so nuts Eddie got attacked and ended up in coma? Regardless if they were dating MC or not

Iā€™m eager to see more :joy: Man I feel naked without personality stats haha

3 Likes

It was so good it really has potential canā€™t wait for the other chapter :heart:

2 Likes

ahahah imagine not knowing if any relationship that youā€™ve ever built has been genuine ahhahaha
this makes me sad
i want to read more

3 Likes

I already loved it from your introduction on top but damn I loved in more by actually playing the demo, can not wait to see what is in store for the future

3 Likes

Very interesting concept - Iā€™m really curious as to where itā€™ll go from now on.

I really like MCā€™s power, itā€™s so unique, especially with the fact they donā€™t have control over it as it is. Such an OP thing thatā€™s an actual curse as it is. Especially since I selected the lovers option for Eddie, which makes it sting A LOT. It was very clever to make players choose that before revealing MCā€™s power. That way, when reading, players also take that ā€œblowā€ when they think about the relationship.

I didnā€™t spot any typos or coding errors or anything like that, but Iā€™ll admit at some point, I felt like more options could be added to choices, or variables to the narration depending on previous choices. Iā€™ll just list them in case youā€™d be interested in one or more of them! Keep in mind only the last one truly bothered me though!

During hair lenght selection for the MC:

Well, this isnā€™t an actual issue with the options offered or anything, butā€¦ while the way the choice is presented is interesting, shouldnā€™t it be the opposite?
As it is, the shorter the MCā€™s hair is, the easier the task of cutting their own hair is. But it doesnā€™t make much sense to me? The longer the hair, the better you can actually see what youā€™re doing and cut it right. When itā€™s short, itā€™s almost impossible to do it correctly. Except when itā€™s shaved very very short of course, but thatā€™s not the same as having it merely short or medium.

During orientation:

When the person speaking starts about Travellers and expeditions, it goes to that - ā€œBoring. Youā€™re not even here to become a Traveller, you just need to learn how to handle your stupid ability.ā€
But if the MC is very adventurous (if the player selected the option that they wanted to be a Traveler in the past), it would make sense for that text to be a bit different? Something like the fact despite not wanting that anymore, they still couldnā€™t help but listen to parts of the speech or something like that.

When talking about music with Gil:

If selecting that MC listens to songs from OSTs, Gil says ā€œI take it you like movies then? Or are you more of a TV shows or cartoons person?ā€
Then you can pick one. But how come thereā€™s no option to say ā€œactually, itā€™s game OSTs?ā€ - even if the question serves do determine another hobby, it doesnā€™t change the fact Gil asks as a follow up for the MC saying they like OSTs.

The last choice of the current demo:

If Iā€™m to be honest, none of the reactions make sense to me, except for the one that is greyed out - being to ask calmly about whatā€™s that about. The reaction that would make the most sense to me would be to ask nervoulsy about whatā€™s happening. No weird panic while gripping the gun (like, that would be SERIOUSLY dangerous), no overboard drama, no exagerate denial. Just genuine nervousness and stress, and thatā€™s it.
Heck, even anger would make more sense - as in, angrily asking ā€œwhatā€™s that?!ā€ - not my nĀŗ1 choice - Iā€™d still go with subdued nervousness or going stiff from stress or something - but better than any of the ones offered AND avaible to my MC.

I think thatā€™s it? Really, the three first points are me nitpicking though!

That aside, would it be possible to add physical descriptions of the ROs in the original post?
Oh and also, will we have male (or gender selectable) ROs from other worlds? Iā€™m only interested in male characters and itā€™s a bit sad that the only RO (revealed to be) from another world is a gender-locked girl.

4 Likes

woah, I really love this. extremely interesting!

1 Like

So am I the only one that sees the resemblance to versatile mage and other manhuas

1 Like

Thank you for your comments! A few other people have mentioned the hair choice and I have planned to fix that haha. You raise a great point about the orientation, that actually makes a lot of sense and Iā€™ll definitely implement that. With the game OSTs, I just completely forgot that could be an option too.

As for the last choice, Iā€™m going to change the greyed out option to be available regardless of traits. This story is meant to be partly comedy, hence why the other options are so exaggerated, but I might add another less overboard reaction haha.

Also yes, Iā€™ll add the RO physical descriptions! And there is a male RO from another world : )

5 Likes

This topic was automatically closed 60 days after the last reply. If you want to reopen your WiP, contact the moderators.