thank you! glad you liked them haha
2 Likes
I donāt know how or why but for some reason this MC just strikes a chord with me. I love my stoic soft MC, she is precious and I must protect her.
Anyway good writing is good.
6 Likes
Wasnāt sure what to expect, but I like what I have read so far, the denial scene in the end, loved it, I saw others mention Otto, I didnāt encounter Otto did I miss something?
1 Like
She is the one carrying the guitar case and happen to be Gilās friend.
2 Likes
OK, never got their name.
2 Likes
Yes she was the one with the guitar case, youāll get to properly meet her later haha
1 Like
I really enjoyed it so far! Still short, so I donāt have a ton of feedback, but definitely interesting!
(One side note, if you use @heij or @Jackpot1776 or @Zenobrighter, you can respond to multiple people in one post. Just helps to keep the thread a tad bit cleaner and organized 
)
1 Like
Ah, thanks for the tip! Iāll do that from now on haha
1 Like
I really like this. Very emotional hits the feels real hard. Almost made me cry! Canāt wait for your updates.
You know what the story reminds me of? A manga Iām currently reading called Solo Leveling. I donāt know why but it does. Maybe its the fact that you go through portals?
Anywho keep up the good work bro 
.
2 Likes
I really enjoyed this, the otherworld thing and the guilds are giving me SCP vibes. Iāve got to know what happened to Eddie! And whatās going on with Gil, I was hoping he was starting a band or something 
He was only recently let out of prison though, so was that girl an old friend of his? Maybe the
guitar used to be his and she was bringing it to him. Anyways, you sip your water, itās none of your business.
I found a small typo here:
You laugh and it comes out terribly forced, even to your own ears. āI have on idea what youāre talking about, but sure Iāll listen to you.ā
Looking forward to the next chapter!
5 Likes
Iām really digging the MCās ability from a meta point of view:
(quasi-spoilery (??) rambling beneath cut)
Summary
Player characters in games (and main characters in fiction in general, tbh) very frequently have almost improbably magnetic personalities. Everyone is swayed by them, be it companions or rando npcs. Hell, it sometimes gets to the point where ādisagrees with the player character on anythingā becomes shorthand for āvillain/generally up to no good/opinions can be dismissed with impunityā.
And then we get this MC who really is unnaturally loveable (and I swear, the way it was initially described in the story made me think of Mass Effect and indoctrination) and their life is 1000% more difficult for it. A passive ālove meā field sounds great on paper until you run into pesky little things like the question of free will.
So yeah, Iām definitely loving the setup and looking forward to seeing where this all goes!
8 Likes
@Bulk_Biceps Thank you, glad the emotional parts were successful! Also thatās hilarious because Solo Leveling was one of the various inspirations for this. Iām surprised and impressed someone actually picked up on that.
@cottoncandy Thank you! Whatās SCP? Love the meme lol thatās exactly what I was imagining when I wrote that bit. Will fix the typo right away, thanks for pointing it out!
@Hannya Glad youāre liking it! That was a fun ramble to read and I totally agree with your points. Unintentional but interesting to hear it reminded you of Mass Effect (which reminds me I need to play the third one, I started playing the series just this year).
7 Likes
O M G Iām IN LOVEE!!! The story is just charming! <3 Oh! I really like that our character has ācharmā as their ability since itās quite uncommon. Gosh I canāt wait for the next update!!!
1 Like
Story felt good and well written, characters too Looking forward to Ernestine.
Hope we get to use our powers for a little bit of fun/mischief 
I just read your demo and IM IN LOVE??? I really liked your writing and humor, the concept, character and everything about this game just felt really fresh to me! Will definitely be tuning in for the next update! Great work!!!
1 Like
Alright I thoroughly enjoyed this!! I already wanna know more about the characters and just where this plot is going!! Great job 
Awww the demo was great!! I have to say I didnāt expect MC to have that power at all definitely interesting!! I was expecting a Medusa-type thing, but this is definitely new cant wait to see where this goes!
And i love irma and my police parents nand roomie gil and canāt wait til whateverās happening with Eddie is resolved! The flashback memoriesare making me emo 
1 Like
@HuiHui @365 @Bananahead_101 Thank you for the comments, it makes me happy to hear people are enjoying my story!
@Aoyama_Blue_Mountain Iām also really looking forward to peopleās reactions to Ernestine, and thereāll definitely be some mischief happening haha
@artless lmao they wouldāve definitely noticed their ability sooner in that case, also iām happy to see all the love for irma but iām also very happy to see acker and earnhart finally getting some love!
5 Likes
There are some odd automatic bits of instant friendliness even if you select that you donāt care about friends, mostly with Gil and the two Venaciti. Thereās no option to not see the latter as family and no way to say no to them still visiting you. Thereās also Gilās āDo you like music?ā where the answers are two variations of yes.
3 Likes
Hmm thatās a fair point, I might make some edits to the Gil conversation then. With the two Venatici youāve known them for a while now and spent a lot of time with them, so even if you donāt always see eye to eye with them thereās still a familiarity there thatās set. But Iāll add an option to say no to their visit!
Also for the music thing, I had that set because of your past with Eddie, but I might make some edits/add an option to make that feel more natural.
Thanks for the feedback!
3 Likes