Velos (WIP) - Demo Update on 2/20/21

“Settle down, mongrels!” you yelled.

Gilgamesh? :laughing:

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That is fixed. :slightly_smiling_face:

These are fixed too. :slightly_smiling_face:

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:laughing: it’s not just me hahahahah, I see, you’re a man of culture as well.

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Indeed, indeed. Settle down, zasshu :laughing:

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oooh! this really seems interesting!

btw, found some pronoun inconsistencies :slight_smile:

image

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it looks really interesting so far, definitely looking forward to more! :smiley: just wondering, but do we have to pick the romance choice at the first meeting to trigger more romance choices?

just some errors i spotted:

playing NB MC but i got this.

also this when i try asking for direction to class.

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Why do I have the feeling I am going to spend the next hour obsessing over which RO I should try to smooch first? Why does my heart always betray me in this way?
Anyway, jokes aside, the overall tone and writing of this game is very charming. My playthrough was really entertaining, but I would like to express one minor issue I had.

Note, please that if this is not the type of criticism you are looking for, feel free to disregard it. It does not have anything to do with bugs and the alike.

The characterization felt a little weak. Not of the ROs, but of the MC. Their personality seemed to already be established. For example, this is an extract from the first conversation with Parzifal:

“Basically a strict professor disguised in a student’s body?” you crossed your arms.

This might fit for some MCs, but I was playing as a nervous mess so it felt unnatural for the MC to act so directly.

I do, however, understand how difficult it is to write numerous options, and again it is a minor issue that did not largely affect my experience. It is more of a suggestion in case at any point you decide to make some additions.
All in all, keep up with the great work! I will be checking this forum regularly.

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Thanks for pointing that out. I’ll be fixing that on the next update.

facepalm :persevere: I definitely did not think about NB MCs when I was writing that scene. I’ll be fixing that on the next update.

Oh, thanks for pointing that out. A placeholder I forgot to edit :sweat_smile: I’ll be fixing that on the next update.

That is a very helpful comment! Hmm, I’ll try to incorporate the MC’s attitude in their monologues. I actually thought of your idea while writing some scenes, like “Isn’t this too rude for someone who constantly picked blush or stutter options?” So feel free to point out some weird characterizations :sweat_smile:

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“I’d rather cut my tongue off than to eat such trash.” Best line so far.

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I have one thing to mention but it’s not a big deal if you don’t think it needs changing.

Ranged combat uses strength more than agility. Bow and arrow needs a lot of strength and heavy weapons also needs strength not agility.

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That’s probably because most people who grew up playing RPGs have learned to associate most ranged weapons with agility or dexterity, not strength. There are some exceptions - i.e. in Baldur’s Gate, longbows are affected by the latter, not the former.

Unless you wish to confuse your player base, you should probably keep bow and arrows under agility. Or you could just make a distinction between the regular type and a longbow, with a codex or hint somewhere saying something like “This particular type of weapon, on top of precision training, also requires strength exercises to wield properly and get a good shot.” **

I have to agree with the heavy weaponry bit though.

**PS: On the downside, this would require an investment into both strength and precision to work properly, contrary to an ordinary bow, where only one stat matters.

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So far it’s been good and the people u speak to all have different personality’s which is what I love. My main question is when are the activities u do outside of class get added?

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I understand your point and like I said it’s no big deal.

I watch a lot of archery compitions and strength plays a huge part there along side precision ofcourse.

PS: All the combat options require two attributes in this story plus a bow does require both strength and precision IRL.

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I really enjoy the concept, and the introductory sequence is very intriguing! I just want to mention something ; I’m not sure if anyone has talked about it before, or if it just just me >< apologies if this is too harsh, or nit-picky

But personally, I found it a little off-putting to have to remember the different terms (sen, hevs, ager, veti…) that were introduced in rapid succession the first few pages. I had to reread the pages a few times before I grasped some words.

While I appreciate the thought you’ve given to craft a unique system of time to boost the lore, I do want to enjoy the plot instead of spending time figuring out what some words are supposed to mean ><

*Edit: i forgot to say, I know there’s glossary but perhaps a few more clues can be added in text? I tend to use a screen reader ignore the stats screen xD and I do think such important information should be found only in the stats screen

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Yes, looking at these matters realistically, ranged weapons would require strength just like @AmerHST mentioned. Especially heavy weaponry, longbows and the like. But as @IvoryOwl said, most people would associate ranged weapons with agility. Hence, I placed Ranged Weaponry class under precision and agility. Although I might alter some stat association later in the demo. Thank you both for your input.

@Christopher_Bull Thank you for your kind words. I’m currently working on the “cutting class” activities :laughing: and hopefully I’ll get them done very soon.

@Ellery Thank you for your input. I’ll try to add more context clues in the beginning.

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No worries if you don’t change it because like @IvoryOwl said it is what RPGs do all the time and most players will already be used to that.
I just wanted to bring it up to inform you is all.

Loved your story and I’m going to replay it and take my time with it now that I’m back home :heart:

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I actually didn’t know what to do did I miss a skill check for something because I couldn’t arrive on time and I also find some errors but so far the skill check I think I passed was in melee arms I think because the professor was surprised that someone can atleast put a good enough fight

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Thank you for pointing out the errors.

Regarding the first class, if you stayed to wait for J and Oselie, you’ll be late no matter what.

However, if you ever decide to choose the other options, you’ll get to choose what skill to use afterwards, whether intelligence, observation, charm + sympathy, or charm + indifference, in order to get there in time.

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Oh that make sense, now I can rest knowing she deserved my rudeness lol :joy::joy::joy:

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Good game indeed :slight_smile: can’t wait more, already on my future read list :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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