Velocity: The Race Begins (WIP)

I just wanted to mention that a child who isn’t walking before 3 years old, would probably have some serious developmental delays. We are talking serious physical disabilities that would make the rest of this story extremely unlikely. Babies who do not walk by 18 months require medical testing for things such as cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, or other serious genetic conditions. So in year 3 when it’s written that " You are getting the hang of standing up straight and even taking a few steps here and there." That’s a major concern. I understand that it’s fiction and if it were mentioned in year 2 I probably would’ve let it slide, but you’ve written a severely disabled child in the first 4 years, but then kind of glossed over the actual physical and mental limitations in their later life. These descriptions of the first 4 years have stuck in my mind through the rest of the story and kinda ruined any sort of immersion for me. I assume it was not your intention to write a disabled MC in which case walking by 18 months (1 1/2) and talking before 2 years old would be normal. If you want to keep it year by year maybe instead of talking about barely being able to walk in year 3, mentioning still being rather clumsy despite having been walking for over a year, possibly even having the MC respond verbally to Shawn when he apologizes could just add to the story and immersion. Sorry if this seems nitpicky.

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I’m just wondering for if you decide to start your own crew and steal a car is there a way to steal any other car besides the Porsche

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Nah…no matter what you do, you’re gonna end up with a Porsche. It’s pretty realistic, considering you’re a rookie.

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Hey thanks. I’m really pleased that you enjoyed it.

Sure! I can add that. That model is actually one of my favorites lol.

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That will definitely be in the game, but not at the early stages.

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Hey thanks for pointing this out. I’ll correct it like you said. I never thought about that tbh. It really is weird now that you mention it. At three it would be strange if you couldn’t walk yet lol.

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Ugh, Porsche is for all kinds of posers, middle managers and mid-life crisis sufferers. It’s not my favourite automotive brand to say the least.
But I get that the new kid has to start with a not so cool car. Kinda wish we could lean more into that and start out with a straight up uncool car or, for the truly bold, steal an actual police pursuit vehicle. Also wish we could start not with a Porsche but one of the cars from its parent company the Volkswagen group. This one I think should be good for the 90’s street racing circuit, very friendly to after-market customization.

As for later game cars would you consider some options from Mercedes (AMG)?

Well since there is no romance it is a bit of a moot point but let’s just say my mc would be willing to race him winner fucks the loser and my mc doesn’t intend to lose. I agree Jason would be a lousy boyfriend, one night stand/hatefuck or whatever that might be different.
Also my boy has to step up his game once we get some money can’t let Jason be the best looking boy in the school forever. :persevere:

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Hey guys! Hope everyone’s doing alright and enjoying themselves.

I’m in the middle of writing an important scene and I think I might need some feedback. I’d like to know. What do you think of your brother Shawn?

Are your feelings toward him positive, or negative?

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100% positive

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I have a positive attitude towards him

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So he isn’t dead as I figured he wasn’t.

I don’t know. Until its not Jason trying to get me to race, I would. He’s too creepy to accept racing. He’s a predator that I am staying away from. Hence my not racing is going to stay solid.

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Mixed. On the one hand he’s the older brother mc always looked up to and in some ways, no matter what happened my mc still does.

On the other he mostly never bothered to send as much as a postcard (just like dad, really :unamused: ) and left mc alone with their unstable mother. A bit like dad before him he seems to have moved on with his newer, better life. While he seems to have had plenty of fun and excitement while rising up to the FBI’s 10 most wanted list. Yeah, he can’t exactly use the normal mail system due to that but he seems to have money now and if he had really wanted to it seems like he could have gotten mc some sort of message through intermediaries by now.
Furthermore he seems to be an older, cooler and hotter version of the mc who was the previous top driver for the outfit Jason is now the top driver for, the one the mc is explicitly not good enough for. Even just subconsciously that stings a bit.

Fair enough. My mc would like to give Jason a taste of his own medicine and get him out of his clothes and casually fuck him. Also another thing that stings at this point Jason may know our brother better than we do, since he was the previous top driver for Jason’s outfit and Jason now holds that spot. So, in a way, beating Jason would also somewhat feel like beating his brother by proxy too.

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Oh he is?!

Yeah, that explains things. He being creepy as fuck makes sense now. Wouldn’t know as I refused to race, as canon. Still don’t want to, he’s creepy as fuck.

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As of when i last played its mixed but would say its positive at the moment.

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Wait, you think he’s alive?

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I’ve played a couple of times and I think your game is extremely promising! However, as a fan of classic muscle cars, I do have to ask: what would the chances of obtaining a 60’s - 70’s Shelby Cobra (my dream car! 8D ) or an old Plymoth Fury (like Christine!) be at some point? Or even an old Camaro? =3

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Sure I can add that! I just realized there weren’t much muscle cars in the game lol.

I’m glad you enjoyed the game btw.

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Hey, I really like what you have been writing so far and I’m really happy you’re writing American muscle cars. I was wondering if you think it would fit but if there was some way you could also add trucks like a ford ranger or S-10. I was also wondering if you could add an option for some country characteristics to the MC like chose to add boots in the clothes part. Just so the MC could be a country kid in the city. Whatever will fit within the story.

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Positive.

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Can’t say because still not have long scene with him. So yeah can’t decide

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