By no mean I expected to keep my plan to hide there after finding out what was inside, but my curiosity was on why did the interaction with the fridge disappear after my first death
Honestly I thought the house as a whole was pretty lacking. I only really meant it as a prototype for the general idea. I did want to expand it more.
Also, hiding from the monster in the rotted meat fridge? I actually kinda like the idea of that.
Well, besides the crazed logic it would take for someone to actually do that.
Finding nothing in the kitchen was probably due to me placing a *hide_reuse where I shouldn’t have. I’ll fix it up by the next update.
I am a bit worried about the opening being negatively received, though I’m glad it eventually picked up for you. I’m pretty sure demos of these things can be made available, but if that start is all potential buyers can see… Well, that’s not good.
Plus, it’s just a good idea to make the best story I can. Demo or no.
So was the dialogue alone a big part of the problem for you? I’m guessing you’re referring to Elizabeth’s initial interactions at school?
Well, it’s more of a personal taste really. A lot of people do like the style you used. Well, to be sincere, meanwhile I had a shock at first it was also this “VN/LN/I don’t know” style that later made me feel interested in the characters.
You have played Rune Factory right? Have you played 4? A lot of people, including me, think the text in that games is really good, its really simple in content but it has a strong, ahem, kinetic force in it, it makes you hunger for more of it right from the introduction of the characters, its the odd combination of casual simplicity with interesting and quirky personalities. The problem is that I’m not being able to explain what exactly it is that makes said thing go on or how it could help you D:
Anyway, I think the introduction is a bit odd in pacing, I usually am not a fan of In Medias Res but here it could help, now, again, this is just my personal opinion, I always fear sounding intrusive, but I feel like starting in the scene where you go into the school helping Elizabeth for the first time could be a good start, the players would be intrigued on why is this girl commanding me? Why does my friends hate her? Wait, what is going on? Am I dating her?
Then, when everything is settled and you talk with Matthew and then you have the flashbeck of what happened the previous night, it would also make the player feel more guilty for throwing stones and the whole freak talk.
With that said, Roxanne best girl tbh
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Interesting… interesting…
I wouldn’t be worried about that. Feedback is good, as are suggestions for improvement. I get the idea that something I write might have some great meaning to my artistic being or whatever, but this is all a hastily-written, first draft, story about romancing monster girls/guys.
Having that third person opening was probably a mistake to begin with. I don’t know why I went with that. And adding some mystery to what’s actually happening via a In Medias Res segment could be a good idea. It’s the kind of thing I’ll put on the back burner until I start editing.
I’m actually not certain what ‘VN’ and ‘LN’ stand for here.
I’ve played almost every game in that series. Its been a while since I’ve played 4. Despite that, I do kind of remember the dialogue, so I think I know what you mean.
Really? I was worried I hadn’t given her remotely enough development. I was actually slating her for the chopping block. Still, I can add events with her too if there’s demand. I was planning to unlock hers simultaneously with Damien’s, and I can still do that.
I don’t know, I kind of liked the opening. It was cool to get inside Elizabeth’s head first and then become your character, who you’ve already met through her eyes. I can see why people wouldn’t like it, but still.
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To be sincere, yeah, she has little development.
But the little she has is something I really love, she is a real bro (or sis? idk), and a rather smug one at that.
Then again, I seem to have a thing for characters in the bottom of the popularity pool, some sort of Yamcha disorder I guess?
Ah, VN means Visual Novel. LN means Light Novel. The style I was mentioning earlier as “Anime-Ish” is heavily related to how those two are written.
What are the plans for Damon and Roxanne?
I probably should have known that. I’ve read both both. The former more than the later.
Events will open up for both once Alex(is) goes through the gate successfully. It’ll be a good opportunity to expand on the monster’s culture a bit. Roxanne’s pack will be there, and it’ll also be Damien’s home. Basically there’s a small community on the other side of it.
As for the fine details… I don’t really know. My entire writing process is just typing until words appear. There’s zero real planning. The only thing I know for sure is that I’m handling their events in a similar way to everyone else’s. Events let me give them more development, while also creating some sort of personal conflict for the character.
When you complete their events… that conflict will not have been resolved. The only way to finish their story is to pick that character as a love interest, in which case it comes back up while they’re helping Alex(is) stop the sackman.
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It’s simple and straightforward. I love it. I really enjoy Elizabeth’s character too. Keep going with it.
@odichasting
Thanks for clearing that up for me. 
Thanks! though I actually took a gamble on Elizabeth’s characterization in her events. I’m not sure how well received it’s going to be… Eh, if it doesn’t work out, I can always change it.
No problem 
oOo
And Malka’s events are officially done. Roxanne’s and Damien’s can’t be written yet since they aren’t unlocked, so… I’m back to writing the main story again! Hopefully I’ll have some progress you guys can actually see soon.
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Good news! The compiler is working again. The only thing I changed is adding another file to the list of 20 or so. I don’t know why, but I can once again compile because of that.
I went ahead and updated the link, but there’s not a whole lot of new content to see. Still, at least I can easly put updates out again.
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Are we gonna be able to be polyamorous? Like can we have several solid relationships going at once?
If I saw enough push for it, and had enough time, I might. In fact, it’d probably be pretty easy to program as just requiring the player to complete multiple romantic interest’s events.
And that could even make a decent challenge, since you only have so much time in game, actually completing all five of even just two characters events would be pretty difficult.
Still… it’d potentially tack on a lot of extra writing. We’ve got Elizabeth, Roxanne, Matthew, Damien, and Malka. So that’s five characters who are getting their own unique ending arcs, with a unique defeat of the sackman/epilogue. For every polyamorous mix we’d have yet another ending arc to add.
So the answer is… probably not. Not because I’m against polyamorous relationships. Not because I’m uncomfortable writing that sort of thing. Just because actually writing it would require even more time for something I only wanted to be a small project.
Remember when I said this thing would be around 50000 words, probably less? Haha.
Good times.
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Hey, you know what I really dislike? When an author just sort of invents a named character out of the blue, and then immediately kills them off for plot convenience. I mean, it’s like, why didn’t they put that character in sooner? Build them up a little?
Anyway, hope you guys enjoy Daniel in this newest update for the whole three seconds he’s here.
Also, the next update will have Alex(is) passing through the gate. Damien and Roxanne’s events will be unlocked. After that… It’s full steam ahead to the finale.
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The sack man ,is he a human or a supernatural being?? Why did he kill those dudes?and will this lead to a conflict between humans and supernatural beings?? BTW the update is cool ,keep it up
I haven’t read the full update yet, but i wanted to say that there’s an error when choosing ‘i’ll think about it’ when Malka invites you to the club
Keep up the good work 
The sackman is definitely supernatural. It’s actually an alternate name for the boogeyman. The sackman would have killed any kids he deemed deserved it, whether they were human or not. But, despite being a threat to everybody, this would have to become an incident between humans and monsters… in another game. I intend for this story to be more or less concluded shortly after his defeat.
Still, I’d like to revisit this setting with different characters in a different city. And if/when I do that, the sackman’s murders aren’t just going to disappear. Also to answer your question, he killed them for planning to vandalize that house. And also for sneaking out after dark (kids are supposed to be indoors after sunset).
Thanks! I’ll keep writing.
Thanks! I’ll try to find that before the next release.
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The stealth variable.
If I finish the book a get an error on the stealth variable.
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What was the error you recieved? I tried to find it, but everything worked fine on my end.
Ah, I actually changed that skill’s name to sneak, but didn’t fix it. Thanks for catching that, it’s been corrected now.