UPDATE POLL POST 426 (06/03) the wars we wage (Now with 180k words)! isekai fantasy game

Same, I’m mostly a pacifist in many stories since I can’t help but feel guilty for being cruel for no reason at all. But there are times when the author are so good, making my mc suffer like betrayals, torture and etc, that my good mc becomes cruel in the end. Because it gives me a reason to make those cruel choices. I don’t really like playing very edgy much since it’s also kinda a cringe to me :sweat_smile:, if a character suddenly act cruel for no reason or very power hunger. But I mostly have mcs who are, good and funny, or like someone very chill but good but have no remorse on killing if needed be. If I’m gonna play as a villain, I do really wanna play someone who are all smiles and all like a normal person but actually batshit crazy inside (I like having a contradictionary on my character). But most authors just do them super angry, or like a maniac Or stoic. I want someone that noone will even think be a villain then suddenly BAM!

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I get you personally I never judge personally you made your own version of your own story you maybe took it from stereotype but it still has your own blend your own creation how do I describe your character God wants to play a cruel joke and wants you to struggle No Matter in the end you’re the good guy or the bad guy and you’re mixed into a country in war that is still unlike the other they’re either thrown into they were completely Op our character feels tame because they had to work for it Even though there are magical ability is super fucking strong

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While it’s completely your choice to be good or bad it just my thinking this is a sad world is it worth it to make it worse? Or better because like it or not this is our world now this is MC world, destroying it won’t do any good to anyone.

Beside who need enemies when you can make friends? Already got enough problem with looming war and unpredictable God/deity on our plate.

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Mein gott, I forgot to actually vote on the poll… welp…

Got to into the WIP again ;w;

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Same ! I really can’t bear being mean but I’m writing paths where MC can be really, really mean, but I’m forcing myself to write these kinds of path because I want to give as much leeway to the player, one of the biggest falltrap in choice script games is author writing them as if it were a book (with a singular path), but I’ll try, even though I’m ultimately writing a story, to give some variations to the paths.

ohoh I do hope that you’ll get this kind of feeling ultimately from this game, currently I’m mostly working on the “basic” path, but you can see if you look attentively that on some paths, the MC ain’t kind, see downright cruel. These are a few extracts from the game :

Throwing caution in the wind, you glared at the man, reinforcing the death stare with a suggestion spell, making people feel their biggest fear creep around them. The man paled and reached his hand toward you, trying to silently beg you trough the terror he was currently experiencing. Shaking off the hand, you turned your back to him, knowing that the strength of your spell which could have lasted up to a full day before would probably only last between fifteen and ten hours.

(putting your opps in a genjutsu when you get pissed is kinda crazy work ngl)

Your neck feel frozen as you walk straight ahead, a few steps behind your friends. A pair of children, one human girl and a horned boy, cut your road as voices as feeble as their bodies begged for money or a bit of food.
#You ignore them
Giving them anything would just make them get robbed after I left. Why should you bother ?

(ain’t too cruel but damn, can’t even spare a coin for them kids ?)

The game might be influencing his perception. As for you, it was but a walk in the park, Thomas was the target of the draining because it was easier, your body was quite protected despite the few problem you’ve had with your mana since the day prior. So for the last fifteen minutes, you’ve been multiplying the wrong answers, each one draining him more than before. […]“Sorry sorry.” A perplexed smile bloomed on your face, as if you yourself were shocked from the lack of skill displayed.
[…]
If he doesn’t go and consult soon, he’ll probably develop some severe mana desensitization; he won’t be able to use mana anymore.
Good riddance.

(aka you legit pushed the dude to get a cancer)
So you can already be low key messed up rn, but it’ll really go up in the later versions.

And if you play the gambling den’s death path, there’s a choice

"I want to kill those who oppose me…

rn it doesn’t amount to anything specific, but in the final version oh boy this…this will actually make me have to almost write a totally different tree of decisions because MC will not play at all in that.

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Will the MC be able to go into politics after the war or just straight up coup the empire and take over as a military dictatorship? I know it sounds random but I just thought it would be a funny thing to add, like after the war arc the player can be given the choice to either settle down until crazy shenanigans brings them back in or join politics and becomes the crazy shenanigans that brings people in for better or worse

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(I’m also craving for some politics in IF and there’s only a few political IFs out here so I’m a little bias)

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Understandable, I too dislike being mean in my game plays ! Only extreme stuff can make me shift like that.

I do try from times to times to have MC speak, think about their death, Emeric/Erina and the “God”. Also we can also notice that every and each character that is close to MC notices that MC isn’t really open/hides stuff/is behaving weirdly for someone who’s supposed to be a teen.

Yeah MC mostly tries to go by for now, like I try to not make too many choices with the MC being pathetic, if I put a choice with MC being kinda walked over, I always try to put another choice with MC fighting back, no matter if they can win or not (like for example when they tried to attack the “god” during the ceremony, even though they knew damn well they’d get clapped).
I might need to write a few more scenes to highlight that, but MC is no pushover (most of the time), nor really humble. They do their stuff but they know their worth, that’s why they don’t feel the need to push too much most of the time !

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This is kinda a spoil because damn you’re talking about an after something you ain’t even seen yet loool.

But

no, MC won’t have a choice after the war to enter the political scene…at least not right away. Believe me, State matters will be the least of their concern after the war. :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth:

ahahah, well politics will be there because it is about war and wars, as Clausewitz said, are “the continuation of politics by other means”, but it won’t be the main focus

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A question though… Is there demi human here in this world? Like elf and stuff?

I feel the story hinting that they exist but MC never really meet one so far.

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My understanding is that yes they do if memory serves they infact are a major populace of the nation who we might end up fighting. Though i could be mistakenbeen a bit since that conversation has been had.

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Yup there are ! MC actually briefly met one

a pair of children, one human girl and one horned boy

Then there are a few instances where its discussed but MC is yet to really interact with one

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I see might want to snatch one of those. :joy:

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Yup exactly ! The people from Elysium aren’t human, they’re humanoid, but ultimately they have a different biology

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Well…it’ll actually be possible because the other ROs will come from there :saluting_face:

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Interesting, different biology? That even more interesting.

Dang can’t wait when we get there

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sorry to bother, but is this supposed to happen?

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No it’s not supposed to happen damn it ! :sob::sob::sob::sob::sob:

Imma need to check this. Thanks a lot !

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I’ve been on a real isekai and reincarnation kick recently so was eager to try this one out. I like the premise but it does need a couple of editing passes for readability. I’ve put some examples below from the very start of the game.

Summary

*a feminine voice
*welcome to the world

I’d also do a line break when the lady starts speaking. For clarity’s sake it’s best to have a line break whenever a new speaker starts talking and ostensibly the paragraph starts with the baby “speaking”.

It also ends abruptly. I think it’s meant to indicate the lady is saying your name (which you need to make a choice for) but it just looks unfinished. I would probably put an ellipsis there. This comes up a few times.

“WAAAAAAH” the cries of an infant ripped through the walls of the building followed by soothing words from a feminine voice.

“What a healthy child” said the lady, trying to calm the child braced against her. “You didn’t get an easy start at life, ending here so soon, but I’ll take care of you. Welcome to the world my dear…”

If the previous screen was meant to be a pause where the lady says your name “Welcome to the world my dear…” then just having this screen say “How nice of you!” feels weird. It feels like it should be a continuation of the previous statement by the lady.

Noticing a few instances of incorrect indefinite article (a or an). In the above it should be “out of a hostage situation” not an. A should be used before a consonant sound, an should be used before a vowel sound.

Two things. You may be being a little overzealous in your use of commas and splitting sentences. For example the above could easily be rewritten as:

I died at the ripe age of 27 after finally becoming an associate in my company. I knew my office better than my flat and I spent years grinding my soul and body with 120 hour weeks before I got…

Second: How dare you not give me the option to be killed by truck-kun.

Not sure about the periods in the first paragraph. Are those intentional? And once again, very heavy use of commas creating long run on sentences.

If you think it would be helpful I could continue working through, but I understand that sort of feedback can be very draining if you aren’t looking for it, so I don’t want to go too much into it without your blessing.

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this would be so kind if you wanted to help me do that ! Got a few days ago this comment about the typos/mistakes and I really want to fix them but it feels a bit overwhelming sometimes (English not being my first language, I could do it but I’d have to really lock in, and also damn that thing is quite long actually) and it just blocks my progress because I don’t wanna write more without fixing it, but I don’t have the strength to fix it either lol.

You’ve put up your offer in a really nice and respectful way and I thank you for that : D

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