I’d also love if this game was on the amazon app store when it goes paid, since I do not have any android or Iphone devices and I have given up hope of any choice of games, except for wizards choice coming to the windows 8 appstore.
I’m aware of that I was just referring to the assumption that a zombie sent to kill your mother, especially one raised with an animal sacrifice, could mistake the aura of your brother/yourself to be that of your mother’s. Zombies don’t generally eat people unless a) they are ordered to or b) they are raised by an animator unable to control it (animal sacrifices only)
I’m taking the wife and son on holiday for four nights (will be back Friday evening) in Rhyl in Wales.
@Nocturnal_Stilness enjoy your vacation!
when i told everybody that i was an unatural i later talked to Kota and he said that he told Arthur i’m an unatural my MC got all freaked that there was a firing squad outside. even though this was already dealt with in the meeting. (also, when i killed the 7 zombies almost all their death scenes had pole-axed. this is a minor complaint and feel free to shoo it away but a player may find it repetitive)
Also, i chose to spare Zoey after i tackled her. got an error. i had four wings
Edit: never mind
@Nocturnal_Stillness Wouldn’t the MC have to go see a psychologist? It doesn’t really matter whether their fine (Which I highly doubt they would be) I don’t think the government will go all “Who cares that they have just witnessed their parents and brother die, will just send the frightened 8 year old who had lost all their family to their relatives - They’ll be fine”
I doubt America has David Cameron for their President.
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@trollhunterthethird yeah, you got a point, he/she shoulda seen a psychologist or maybe he/she did behind the scenes
Hey everyone I’ll be heading back home tomorrow so will recommence work on this over the weekend.
Yay NS is back!
So I was thinking, in the scene that says “you know you want to join the S.R.T because you don’t want another family to go through what you did”, why not make it a *fake_choice and have a list of options such as:
“You already knew you wanted to join the S.R.T but what was your reason for it?”
To protect people
For revenge
Etc
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That’s a good idea.
“You’ve known of your desire to join the S.R.T ever since you lost your family. But it is only recently you settled on the reason…”
-To protect others.
-To hunt down their murderer.
-For the fame.
-I’m interested in monsters.
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They sound good, but I don’t see the fame one working very well. Sure, the S.R.T as a whole get plenty of coverage but not individual members. Maybe swap “for the fame” with “for the prestige”.
Also, with the “hunt down their murderer” what happens when you find out that the killer is dead? Sure, it’s to late to quit, but it throws the purpose out the window.
Good points as per usual. I’m looking forward to starting to write it again. I want it finished asap so I can commence the closed beta.
@trollhunterthethird and @Kaosorer_6
RE: psych evaluations. Your character did have one prior to be handed over to your Aunt/Uncle and also a few more during your childhood, but I never mentioned it. I’ll add a few lines/scenes to show that might even let players refine their character more.
One thought I had while I’ve been away is to alter how some of the variables work (specifically firearms, hand_to_hand and stealth) turning them from simple hidden variables to actual visible “training” variables, and adding a few more (lockpicking, and a few others)
What do you think?
I’ll have to see it first, but one error I noticed is:
When speaking with David, if you ask him for firearms training and you don’t yet have firearms true, it’s supposed to be set to true. Yet in the next “practice using your gun”, it acts like you don’t have the firearms variable.
Fixed it.
Thanks will look through them soon. When you mention Stefan and the sister/little girl that actually is intentional. If you get the tattoo he believes he’s got you trapped and can kill you easily so he mentions that it was his little sister. But if you haven’t got the tattoo you are a threat and he calls her a little girl in the hopes you don’t try to get her.
Thanks 
Hi @ Nocturnal_Stillness
Possible coding Problem:
Q:*Was with Lakota on creepy statues case:
You sit up confused, you glance over at the body of Dead and feel annoyed they got in the way. You call the retrieval team to collect the remaining three dead gargoyles. You head back to base to explain how two of them escaped and how you lost Dead during the mission. Arthur isn’t happen (*happy) and tells you to go back to your room.
After your case you find yourself relaxing in the Gamma unit’s common room. You’re not alone either, looking to the right you can see Austin sitting in the corner reading one of his comics. While Lakota and Emily are busy playing a card game.
Sit with Austin.
Sit with Lakota and Emily. **Lakota was dead, he died in the gargoyle case!
**Then later it was back to him not being there:
Picking up your chosen file, you head straight for Arthur’s office. “I’ll take this case,” you say putting the file on his desk. Arthur pauses as he looks at the file and nods. “Okay, now go and prepare for the case.” You consider who you want to work with.
Austin.
Some typos/grammar items for you:
You craft the Shade Spear and strike as fast as you can. You’re able to keep Sergei at a distance, but he moves to (*too) quick for you to strike a blow.
They never reach you, instead they suddenly drop out (*add of) the air. At first you are confused, but then you see the darts sticking in each gargoyle. You turn to see Lakota walk into view holding a tranquilizer gun. She (*Lakota = He) must have grabbed it in the confusion.
You stand up and take a deep breath. You’re in a room with a group of people who specialise (*s vs z) in hunting down and killing Unnaturals. Now you want to tell them you could be a monster…
The silence that followed was very unnerving. You instictively (*instinctively) go to duck the barrage of bullets you were sure would come flying at you. When someone finally reacts, you’re surprised when you see Arthur walks over to you and places a hand on your shoulder.
(*would make more sense: “youre surprised that Arthur walks over to you and places a hand on your shoulder.”
“Thank you for being honest with us. We appreciate it, here (*add is) a gift for being honest,” he says handing you a gun.
You take the handgun off (*from instead of off) him, it is a silver-plated Desert Eagle .50 calibre (*caliber) magnum. The S.R.T’s emblem had been (*is instead of had been) carved into the barrel.
You can just about make it (*out instead of it) three distinct voices, two talking and a third which seemed to be chanting.
“Yes, there is someone interferring (*interfering) with my ritual,” you are surprised when she point (*points) right at you, “the disturbance is there.”
JACOB LAWSON
Yes, an animator was hired to help get the weapon to me. I distrust them personally, but when your boss tells you to jump you ask how how (*high). Especially if your (*you’re)paid as much as I was.
For the record, the interviewee is smiling. Mr. Lawson there is no point playing games, we have an eye witness and your own prints on a firearms (*either on a firearm, the firearm, or the firearms).
“H…hey! Wait a minute, no-one said (*add anything) about anyone dying,” says one of the armed men throwing his knife to the ground.
you fire twice, both darts whizz (*whiz) harmlessly passed (*past) the kids who quickly vanish out the exit.
You try and (*to instead of and) will yourself to move, but you just can’t. It (*add is) as if the air around you is just pushing down on you, pinning you in your seat. You can only watch as Stefan pulls a long thing (*thin) knife from a hidden sheath.
Your only consulation (*consolation) is the blade must have been dipped in something as it quickly goes numb as you (*your) body shuts itself down and your death is quite peaceful…
You nod, and get into the car with Austin getting in the back and Alexandra sliding behind the steering will. A few minutes later she has the car started and its (*it’s) driving out onto the street. The drive to your destination is unusually quiet, a sombre (*somber) mood surrounding everyone. You decide you should start a conversation.
Austin, he is a member of Unit Gamma one of the Elite of S.R.T. Austin specialises (*s vs z) in hunting ghosts, but he has an intense hatred for vampires who took someone from him.
Elizabeth, she is an ex-member of Unit Gamma and now works as the weapons requistitions (*requisitions) officer. Although now confined to a wheelchair after an (*a) werewolf attack, she still is a capable shooter.
Victor, he is a member of Unit Alpha and former vampire hunter. He excels at killing vamps and he takes enjoyment as he does it. He isn’t generally well liked in the organisation, (*s vs z) but his skill in vampire hunting means most people just put up with him.
You slip behind the steering wheel and start the car. The radio flickers to life and you drive away listen (*listening) to the dulcet tones of a radio DJ.
"The graveyard called the police, someone dug up Alexander’s grave. His body is missing. (*would make more sense to say the owner or manager of the graveyard called.)
He is untouched, but says (*they say) they plan to wake him up soon. I don’t know what to do."
You find Arthur waiting for you in his office. Sat (*sitting) at his desk he studies you for a moment.
Our intelligence suggests they are planning something big. I need you to go and find out what there (*their) end game is."
“Sorry we need (*add you) to go by yourself (*add since it’s) easier to get one person in than two.”
As you leave Arthur hands you a manilla (*manila) file. It contains all the collected intelligence on the M.R.U. As you head for the car you started (*start) reading through it.
The Monster’s Rights Union or the M.R.U. is an organisation (*s vs z) whose members believe that monsters are people too and deserve the same rights normal people get.
“Lesson two; when they are hungry they can’t think straight. Use it to your advantage and staking them will be a lot easier.” You thank him before returning home. (*Would make more sense: “Use it to your advantage. Staking them will be a lot easier.”)
You can almost feel the moonlight against your skin. Concentrating, you unfurl your wings and let the moonlight shine on it. (*wing= it, wings = them)
“The concious (*conscious) memory of a person, it is a rare magic that few amongst the fae know. We know every fae past or present and your father is not one of us. It makes his knowledge of it troubling.”
“I heard off (*from instead of off) Lakota you were talking to an echo of your father, I hope you got the answers you seek. We’re starting to get more cases again, you ready to continue?” (*Would make more sense: “We’re starting to get more cases again. Are you ready to continue?”
Hi @ Nocturnal_Stillness
Things I’ve pondered and other items for your consideration:
His cold fingers wrap around your throat in a vice like grip. His eyes snap open and they seem to stare into your very soul. You try to look away but you can’t. His gaze tries to hold you, but your will resists. It takes a lot of effort but you finally manage to bring the dagger down and kill Peter. You stand up and dust yourself off, just as more members of the S.R.T. arrive. After being checked over you are taken back to base where you recover yourself.
Ready for your next case you flick open your phone to see the latest ones…
Q: *Wow! I just killed Peter and Victoria and that’s it? Shouldn’t there be more feeling/reaction before I’m off to another case? These people murdered colleagues and she tried to murder me! It was not just any case, it was personal. And maybe even some commendation from SRT? I guess it seems too anticlimatic.
You continue searching through the remains of the chamber and finally find Victoria. She didn’t come out of the blast unscathed either, you find the traitor sprawled on the ground. Pain etched into her face. Getting closer you see a particular chunk of roof has crushed her legs.“Those stupid bastards, they weren’t meant to detonate the explosions until I told them too. I take it you are going to kill me and finish off my brother aren’t you?”
Actually she isn’t worth it. I’ll just kill Peter before he regenerates. You shake your head, “you aren’t worth it.”
Q: *What happened to Victoria if I didn’t kill her? Did she die or get taken to the hospital under guard? Or did another SRT member kill her? It is never said,
Stefan:
*If I get the tattoo, he calls her his little sister:
“I noticed you got one of these from my little sister. That rose makes it possible for your aura to be affected by mine. I doubt you’ll have the strength to use whatever power I can sense within you.”
*If I do not get the tattoo, he calls her a little girl:
“A little girl who offers to draw tattoos for people for a small price. She borrows the designs out of one of our books. She doesn’t know it but they help us if we need to defend ourselves.”
Q: *Is it little sister or little girl?
“I’m glad we were able to spend some time together. Its (*it’s) nice to feel good about being in love again.” Smiling you pull him in for a passionate kiss.
Q: *Uh, Wait, back up, did you say love?! The first time someone uses the “l word” in a relationship it usually generally more discussion or response,
Ready to begin ritual with your father: You thank Lakota and return to your room.
Q: *That’s it? No good luck, be safe? Especially if we are in a relationship…a hug?
When he finally stops the training, Austin spends another hour or two teaching you about ghosts. Thanking him for the help you return to your room.
Q: *That’s it? No kiss goodbye or good job babe? We are in a relationship so it should be more informal.
“What are you saying?” “That if it worked for you, it just meant you weren’t human to begin with…”
Q: *Oh ok…moving on…MC says nothing in response? This would be a shock, would generate strong feeling/emotion n a person being told this. The MC talks to Ren about it later but it seems too nonchalant.
“A monster killed my family. We were camping in the forest and something started stalking us. I never saw what it was it took everyone, one at a time. I was the only one left. It broke me, tipped me over the edge…”
“So why are you still here.” “Part of me, wants to be here. I want to help others, it keeps me focused. Keeps me sane.”
Q: *Seems unfeeling, kinda jerky to say: why are you still here? Why doesn’t the MC provide empathy to Michael? The MC lost family too…,
“We’re the reason that Unit Alpha kicks ass. Our tests and weapon modifications are why they are so deadly.”
Q: *I’m not sure that a scientist/doctor would say “kicks ass” in the work environment…unless they were in the break room talking about comic books…
“Quinn! There been a breach, one of the *monsters in containment has broken loose.”“What are we going to do?”“I need to reach one of the labs downstairs but I need someone to help get me there.” You nod and you follow Michael as he leads you through the mazes of corridors that form the S.R.T base. Along the way you find several bloody corpses, all with their throats torn out. Looks like the *vampire has been busy. Eventually you come to your destination as Michael stops.
Q: *Michael just said “monster”, not vampire. How did MC know it was a vampire? Cant a werewolf rip out a throat too?
School Daze case: “Catherine *runs over to you and loosens your bonds. You *walk over to her, trying to explain what had happened. She seems to listen but then goes to turn away.”
Q: *She came to me, then I walked to her? Maybe this would make more sense:“Catherine runs over to you and loosens your bonds. You begin to explain what happened. She seems to listen but then goes to turn away.”
“Thirty minutes later you are driving back to base. You *rest for a few days and then its (it’s)time to *pick your next case… You and Sarah spends (spend)the next day *recovering from your cases. Eventually you are *summoned to Arthur’s office for your report.”
Q: *You rest, then time to pick case. Then it says again that you rest, then give report. What about wording it like this: “Thirty minutes later you are driving back to base. You and Sarah spend the next few days recovering from the case. Eventually you are summoned to Arthur’s office for your report. Then it’s time to pick a new case.”
“It is not well known but there are different kinds of runes. Defensive runes, offensive runes, control runes, refinement runes, summoning runes etc. The runes features runes I know to be over a century old.”
Q: *The word runes is used a lot here and the last sentence does not make sense as written. What about this:“It is not well known but there are different kinds of runes. Defensive, offensive, control, refinement, summoning, etc. These runes are over a century old.”
Lakota: “Relax, you aren’t in any danger. The fae aren’t a threat unless you break a promise. I trust you will be fine. You’re smarter than the *others.”
Q: *The last sentence sounds pretty ominous. If I was the MC I would stop him and say: “Others? What others? And what happened to these ‘others’?”
Is he referring to Project Guardian? Did some of those failures meet with Lakota’s family/the fae too for “testing”?
Returning to your room you are informed that you’ll have to *rest a bit more before you can return home. Returning to your guest room, (add you) *find a note on your bed saying the plane is scheduled to leave (add at) about 1700 hours. You plonk yourself on the bed.
Q: *contradictory info here.,.am I resting more or leaving at 1700 hrs?
However, you remember the day she returned from the holidays. Every time you said “hi” to her, she ignored you, her gaze always averted. You could tell this much: something hurt her. It was difficult for you to understand how she went from an athletic girl passing you the ball on the soccer field to a broad-shouldered bully who made a point to put you down. Sarah had always liked action, but her meanness is new. When you heard about *the divorce (*recommend saying: “her parent’s divorce” to be more clear for reader) it made sense but still hurt.
Choose to spare Zoey or choose to leave her soul orb,
choose to leave it trapped or take for self or release it:
I get error message: Line 755: expected choice body.
I freaking love this game one of the best games I ever played
I salute you
its okay just noticed the last line didn’t actually have a goto *D’oh* lol
Link please?
I still cannot get Victor as a romance! 
do I have to choose ‘That was a nice surprise’ or ‘What an ass hole’. Because neither of them seem to make a difference for me. Either way great game.