Agreed, his comment itself is one from its own political stance, I don’t think the comment should be dismissed but he mentions they make discoveries everyday, well until they discover otherwise go for what research sources say if you are going that route anyway. Otherwise the author should do what he wants. TSSL commented below a very good comment on what was happening around this time so Id go with his recommendations. 
Option 1 sounds best, imo.
It would be nice to explore and roleplay the differences in how genders are treated, especially in that setting, in separate playthroughs. A gentleman would have a different upbringing and education from a lady of that time, but we won’t always be delving into the childhood of our MCs, or their daily routine in excruciating detail. Our view could be limited to just the MC’s immediate present, focusing more on the plot and current conflict. Just some ways to shave off work in option 1 
Basically, you could always limit the extent of how gender changes the experiences of the MC if you feel like it becomes too difficult to keep track of, it’s up to you in the end. Either way, I’ll still check this out when a demo pops up.
The Victorian period was also a point in time when many women were becoming increasingly active againt social restrictions. I mean, there’ve been women writing against sexism for, well, ages, and at this point, things were really developing into a movement. The suffrage movement, for example, was really getting going—and plenty of women in other social movements, too. Take a look at Ida B. Wells as a civil right activist. More subtly, you saw the development of more athletic wear and gear for women, bicycling, sports, also world travelers. More daring women might discard dresses and wear bloomers—and even more daring women might just wear a suit, like George Sand. There were women in education, with women’s universities becoming a significant phenomenon right in this very period, and more insititutions becoming coeducational, as well. Women got into science, like Mary Anning or Marie Curie. Many of the most famous authors of the Victorian period were women as well.
Sure, a lot of these women faced pushback, or were not acknowledged in the same way men might be. Sure, this was also a peak time for scholars writing about female inferiority. But the fact remains that these women existed, and did all these things. If you just let the female main character be a George Sand if she wants, living independently, taking the social role she wishes, it won’t be unrealistic because, well, it happened.
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