Turncoat Chronicle (political fantasy) - updated 24-APR-23

Congrats on finally getting it done! Can’t wait to see it published :heart::heart:

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Yes! I’ve been waiting for this!

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Congratulations on a well written beta. I very much enjoyed my first playthrough. I did have a bit of an issue at the end though. I played a prince who manipulated but then fell for a female heir. She had agreed to be a consort when we discussed our plans, and even allowed me to spare the king after the battle, but all the endings declared me the consort instead of her. The option for my coronation was grayed out and both the mutual coronation and wedding had the heir taking the lead role.

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This was so good! I’m very excited to purchase it when it is officially released as well, but it stressed me the heck out. Every choice was like “I can’t screw this up!” in a very good way.

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I love this cant wait for the official release!

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I had to look into this, because I couldn’t remember offhand whether the condition for co-rulership was based on trust or on personality. Turns out I made it a little more complicated than that, and looking at it now, I think some of the conditions are too strict. Especially the ones that lean on stats that are invisible to the reader.

You’re right. If the text of the game reassures you that the Kidia heir trusts the MC, that should indicate that everything is going to go as planned. Keeping the usurper alive, however, will actually make it a little harder to co-rule. The logic being that the MC has a certain amount of “trust capital” to spend with Kidia, and having already made an extraordinary request of them, they wouldn’t be as generous, the next time. It shouldn’t lock you out entirely, though, so I’ll look into tweaking that condition.

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I actually got that in my first play through. Wasn’t aware that it was hard just played my main MC. I enjoyed this. I did not kill our dear father so it is possible.
Was not expecting any updates so.
Congratulations and it was wonderful.

Should I post screenshot when I find an error? There where some pronouns that where wrong at the coronation of I remember correctly, male heir had female pronounce mixed into their description.

Oh hey, it got updated again! Glad to see you back!!!
image

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:confused: I made a cunning plan even disposed of crow… But I failed… Don’t like that it’s a good story but somehow I didn’t get how the scheme failed :thinking: the stats should get you something to see how you are doing because my spy master said the pretender trusted me

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My mc and Alme are now rulers union of the two kingdoms, mc’s father is alive but imprisoned, Crow is alive, good ending in all. Well written author~ cheers!

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How did you do it? I always am a little unsure of whether or not my Kidia heir co-ruling plan is going well…!

The trust meter is a major part of Kidia’s ambush, but there are other variables that go into it, as well. I might do a more detailed post about them, later on.

For the moment, you should know that if your MC survived the ambush, then it wasn’t a complete failure. There’s very much an option to die if you mess up badly enough. This is only likely to happen if you face them alone.

It makes sense, though, that Sheyer should alert you that facing Kidia alone is more dangerous. I’ll make a note to work that into the first chapter.

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it’d be nice if we got to view all the ending scenes before moving on to the epilogue like in tin star

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As this is the second time I heard this request, I’ll have to look at the scenes and see how much editing is needed to make them fall in line. I need to make sure that they don’t repeat themselves.

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Omg! An update :scream::scream::scream::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::heart:

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Pretty enjoyable game, I’ve done two playthrough (Alliance with Kidia and conspiring with Lux). Will do a third later on to backstab Kidia and make my father proud.

I did find a small bug, in Lux’s route, you tell him that it was your spymaster who found him but that should likely be exclusive to Kidia’s route.

EDIT :

Just played the betray Kidia and I noticed that the patricide variable is always set to true there

*comment 30-NOV-21 flag set after investigation
*set patricide true

And isn’t set to false even if you specifically choose that you don’t want to kill him.

Do you wish to kill your father, King Orust, and take the throne for yourself? No one would be able to stop you, until after the deed was done.

      *fake_choice
        #Of course not! I wouldn't turn on my own father.
          *set ruthless %- 10
        #Yes, I'm prepared to do what it takes to gain power.
          *set ruthless %+ 10
          *set noble %- 10
          *set patricide true

This story has taught me a valuable lesson. The intent is the control of an asset, not its destruction. True power is the proper application of force at the precise point to exploit a weakness.

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I’m gathering together some small edits and changes to chapters 1 and 2, and I wanted to take the room’s temperature on something.

How do you feel about the MC’s appearance variables?

  • I always customize my MC’s appearance.
  • I completely ignore/hide appearance details.
  • I choose one of the two parents’ presets.

0 voters

Would it affect your choice if more NPCs commented on the MC’s appearance?

  • No, customizing appearance is mainly for roleplay purposes.
  • No, I would ignore/hide it regardless.
  • Yes, NPCs should comment on the MC’s individual features.
  • Yes, NPCs should notice the MC’s resemblance to their parents.
  • Other (explain).

0 voters

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Voted “other” on the “Would it affect your choice more…” question. If it makes sense to comment on appearance (whether preset or not) then yes, it might for a majority of people. But if it just comes off as random remarks or flavor text…most people, even people playing self-inserts are going to find it weird and potentially off-putting. Something like “my god, you look just like your mother” can work but other appearance-based statements can get odd and uncomfortable. Context matters when addressing appearance, even with an out of place but in-script comment. If someone’s playing a self-insert and the appearance comment is creepy in context, it probably won’t matter, but if it’s coming off as creepy out of context it may jolt them out of the story altogether.

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I think it has potential for interesting flavor text, sprinkling tension or angst:

  • Is it difficult for Crow and Kidia to trust an MC who’s very similar looking to their father?
  • Does the court think an MC who looks like their Noni surely takes after them in character?
  • If the MC betrays their father, does it sting more coming from someone who looks so much like him?
  • How does your brother feel about his sibling looking so much like their Noni, is that why they favor them?

And so on. It doesn’t have to be huge, just a few lines that hint of something that the reader can then incorporate into their own vision of the character, should they wish it. It can offer something the reader might not have thought of themselves, especially if they are not really the type to headcanon much.

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