Turncoat Chronicle (political fantasy) - updated 24-APR-23

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Good news, everybody!

Turncoat Chronicle has updated! The current version is 0.4.2. Some of the changes are in response to beta feedback, some to feedback on this thread, and some of it is background work that has allowed me to push forward with the plot. I am now close to finishing chapter 3 (out of 4) and the private beta has reached version 0.8.

Some things to look out for:

  • The Kidia heirā€™s introduction in chapter 1.
  • Consulting with Sheyer in chapter 2 while on Luxā€™s route.
  • Genderfluid pronoun selection accessible from stats.

The changes might feel small, but theyā€™re a part of a deeper editing project that I embarked on in April and May, trying to polish off some of the roughness that persisted in the older parts of the story. As I press forward, and realize that chapter 3 is even longer and more complex than chapter 2 was, Iā€™m paying a price for some of my early story and design decisions. Each later part of the story has stretched out longer to create than the previous.

I welcome feedback both for the new and the old.

Rest assured that even if my updates arenā€™t very frequent, Iā€™m hard at work on the game at all times. I donā€™t have much supplemental materials to provide, because Iā€™ve been focusing my attention on shepherding the game to its final chapter. I do have some things in my notes that might interest you, and arenā€™t too spoileryā€¦ Would anyone be interested in the charactersā€™ MBTI and enneagram types?

Play the updated demo!

[Note that old saves will not work in chapter 2, because of changes in variable declaration.]

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Thank you for the update! I re-played it and had a wonderful time. This really is one of my top favourite WIPs; itā€™s the first WIP I have ever played in this site, actually, and the one that lead me to creating an account. I really love your writing. The plot is intriguing, and I love the side characters (especially Noni!). I am looking forward to the next chapter. Thank you very much for your hard work! Please take care and stay safe.

I would love to see the charactersā€™ MBTI and enneagram types btw <3 I really do enjoy all your characters!

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I am very much enjoying what I am reading so far looking forward to more.

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@Hazel ā€“ I love your writing (I think Iā€™ve expressed that before) and I really am intrigued by the plot and world-building you do.

My feedback, to begin, is with the very first choice you offerā€¦ Iā€™m not sure why, I as a reader, should pick one choice over another ā€¦ I know that it is early enough that restarting is no big deal, but by not understanding the thrust of this first choice, I am taking out of rapport with your game almost immediately.

Iā€™ll add more feedback after I finish the demo, but thought Iā€™d give you this feedback asap.

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Iā€™m gonna look into making little graphics for each of the principal characters, to keep things interesting. Thank you for your comment! Comments like yours really make my day.

I will look into the introduction to that choice. Itā€™s meant to convey that the first choice is about loyalty, conflict resolution, and a certain kind of attitude towards history, but I havenā€™t looked at the first pages of the game in a while. Itā€™s possible that they could use a little more spit and polish.

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@Hazel ā€“ After reading the update, I can say without a doubt that your hard work in expanding the depth of the game shows. Well, done.

I know it is frustrating to do so much work and seemingly not get as many ā€œnew wordsā€ written as you felt the time invested would yield, but the work you have done really shows through in the depth of your story.

I felt a stronger connection to the MC this time than the first time I played the demo and I feel that your characters are more complex than they were before.

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So far so good, I havenā€™t ran into problems and as far as I can tell the paths always seem to stay on track and only go off to widen the ā€œtrackā€ so to speak.

As promised, Iā€™m starting a new series of posts here and on my game dev Tumblr, Zinc Alloy:

Turncoat Chronicle cast - personality typing aesthetic boards.

Now, I have more confidence in my writing skills than in my graphics skills, but I think this came out rather good. Behold the first character aesthetic. I chose this one first both because I knew exactly what images I wanted to use, and because I think the character it belongs to is pretty self-evident. No big surprises here.

Character aesthetic, large graphic, 615x615

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Was in a Machiavellian mood today so very glad I decided to take a look at this demo! Really good stuff, lots of scope for the sort of intrigue and double-dealing I love in games like this and a very detailed, atmospheric and authentic-seeming world. Looking forward to reading the later chapters!

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Does the current demo end after the coffee shop scene with the two aristocrats?

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@Wiwyums

Thank you so much for your comment! Itā€™s always exciting seeing that the game is still getting new readers. I do aspire to atmospheric writing, so I appreciate that comment in particular.

@Cool165

Yes, thatā€™s where the demo ends. In the current division of chapters, itā€™s about halfway through chapter 2 (out of 4).

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I love your writing @Hazel ā€“ keep up the hard work, I really enjoy being the protagonist trying to play all sides against each other.

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I had a great writing day today, so Iā€™m pleased to share anotherā€¦

Turncoat Chronicle personality typing aesthetic board.

Large image, 615x615 pixels

All character aesthetics will be crossposted to this tag on my Tumblr.

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I have two more aesthetic boards for you today! Because, er, I was planning on posting one late last week and got distracted by edits.

Two large images

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The manticore really excited me :slightly_smiling_face: because its not shown much

In addition to plugging away at a complicated scene in chapter 4, I have been doing some work behind the scenes on my World Anvil account. I thought some of you might be interested in learning a little more about Kothā€™s previous royal dynasties. The articles are very bare-bones for the moment, but I hope to update and expand them in time. Some of these events are alluded to in the game proper, but mostly in optional scenes that not every player can see.

Prior to the establishment of the Kidian dynasty, the Avolus family held the throne, and their era was called the Avolian dynasty. The founder of this dynasty, Turim Avolus, gets a couple of mentions in the game. He will get his own article, eventually.

The dynasty that he deposed was called the Lengian dynasty, from the name Lenger. I have not developed this dynasty as much as the more recent ones, but I do intend to at least name their founder and write up the circumstances of their establishment, when I get the chance. It should be interesting, because they are only Kothā€™s second dynasty, where the first was descended from the very first King of Koth.

The first King of Koth was called Pem Osta, and his queen was called Lethim. They founded the Ostian dynasty and they were very Kothic warrior monarchs.

Iā€™ve also greatly expanded the article on the summer solstice, to give a better idea of the development of the Madaran religion.

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Here are the two final aesthetic boards, for the two loyal helpmeets.

Final two aesthetics, large images

I decided not to create ones for more minor characters, so the series totals six images for the six most central characters in the story ā€“ excepting the MC, of course. The main character doesnā€™t have a fixed MBTI or enneagram type, and the personality variables are designed to allow a great deal of variety. Of course, some types are more challenging to play with than others, and some qualities remain constant regardless of player variation.

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Amazing WIP so far!

Really, I hardly have anything to say, itā€™s intriguing and well written, with cool characters and setting.

I have only two things to point out - well, one, and one question.

Once you select your route:

At least if you select to get close to Kidia. The stats menu updates, and you have this at the top of it:
"You are Prince Eldis, soon to be King of Koth.

Your objective is to befriend and make an ally of Morun, the last living member of the Kidian dynasty.

A short man with brown skin, black hair and blue eyes.

There are 7 weeks to the summer solstice."

Shouldnā€™t the physical description precede the objective?

When you can determine the MC's sexuality, when talking to the consort:

One of the options is: ā€œI might be interested in women, men, or anyone, but Iā€™ve never talked about marriage before.ā€
What does it mean? I understand the straightforward meaning of the answer, but in terms of gameplay, does that enable all romantic choices for the future, or disable them, or leaves the orientation choice for later, or something else entirely?

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