True Heir of Inyveserin

nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
low-fantasy

#1

Hi! I’ve been working on a low fantasy game for a while and I think it’s gotten to the point where I’m comfortable sharing it. It’s still very short right now, but it’s to the end of the prologue, and I think it has a fairly good view of the writing style that the rest of the story is going to have. If you have any feedback, questions, or anything else you’d like to share, please don’t hesitate to do so! This is my first game, so apologies in advance for anything I messed up coding-wise.
Thanks!
Bobbi

You are the half-elven child of a former mercenary captain in a region similar to the Holy Roman Empire. At the moment, the demo just goes into your childhood, but you’re going to eventually join an adventuring party. From there, you can seek to avenge your parents, reestablish an Elven homeland, or just win yourself some fortune and glory.

https://dashingdon.com/go/2565


#2

It need a summary or people won’t be interested or they will ask for a summary


#3

A summary would help people get more interested in the game but from playing the demo it looks really cool!


#4

There’s a bug that won’t let me make the character straight.


#5

Bug when I try to answer “she was an obedient child”


#6

There are a few bugs that have already been mentioned, but loved the demo so far!


#7

startup line 232: Invalid expression at char 195, expected OPERATOR or CLOSE_PARENTHESIS, was: INEQUALITY [!]


#8

Two things I found:

Summary


Her changes to he then back to her.


Se should be she.

Then as @lokidemon007 said, I couldn’t make my MC straight.

Good story from what I read!


#9

That was an excessive amount of exposition at the beginning man, and relying on the reader learning something complex right off the bat is never a good thing

The story would be much more immersive if the contextual elements of the story is revealed through anecdotes throughout the plot instead of jamming everything into a lengthy description. However, if the world of the story is indeed so far-fetched that at least some premise needs to be established, then keep the exposition concise and comprehensive.
Also something unique to this art form is that you could perhaps actually let the player shape certain aspects of the background/history for the MC. It’s a great interactive tool to make exposition less tedious


#10

Yeahh… I got this error too!! :frowning:


#11

I get an error when I try to type a name. I also get errors for both being obedient or rebelling, but I can’t tell if that’s just because it’s the end of the demo.

It sounds interesting to me so far. Especially since I’m so cool I have people writing stories about me? Hell yeah :point_right::sunglasses::point_right:


#12

Got a bug


I tried being a straight male and when I pressed continue onwards I got this


#13

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