Here’s a couple I’ve been tossing around in my head for a few days now:
- When there is very, very obviously a “correct” path that you’re meant to take, such that trying to do anything else is like pulling teeth.
Please don’t tell me that I have the option to go down B route if your intent is that I follow A route without question, because I cannot stress how annoying it is to be told on the game’s advertisement blurb that I can go either way, but then I set about trying to go down B route, only to find that either:
A. The route is barely fleshed out and hardly exists except for a few token choices here and there,
B. Getting on to B route is nigh-impossible if you don’t build an exact set of stats or relationships,
C. Going B route is considered the most horrible evil thing I could do and every single major choice from then on, both relationship and stat check, is monumentally weighted against me, or
D. The story all but holds me at gunpoint to try and force me to stick with A route - most obvious example that comes to mind here is in the 7th Sea CoG, where the game basically spends its entire time trying to coerce you into becoming a pirate. Yeah, pirate game, I know, but if I have the option to be a privateer instead, which the game says that I do, then damn it, stop trying to block me from being a privateer! It resulted in the pirate faction blatantly telling me to sod off when the time came to gather forces for the big confrontation against the bad guys, purely because I refused to become a pirate. Nevermind that the bad guys had been attacking everybody, pirates included, indiscriminately, which meant that they had just as much to lose as I and everybody else did.
So that’s the first one, and also:
- “Objectively sexy” - Holy. God. Almighty. Stop writing this. It drives me nuts when I’m playing a character who is either non-sexual/romantic or is attracted to an entirely different gender altogether, and yet when they see someone who they would have no reason to be attracted to, the narration insists that my character considers them to be objectively beautiful/handsome/attractive. No they do not, knock it off. The most that you could get me to concede to here is that my character might find someone who doesn’t fit their interests to be good looking, but that’s not “sexy,” and it sure as hell isn’t “OBJECTIVE.” Beauty is subjective, and always has been - the saying is “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” for a reason. I don’t think this way, but as an example, I could decide that Jabba the Hutt is the apex of sexiness, and Ernest Khalimov (the Sigma Male meme format dude, if you didn’t know) is the real-world example of “hard to look at.” (He is hard to look at, but only because I fear my skull being crushed by the impact of his jawbone as I turn my head to look at him.)
I know why “objectively sexy” is a thing that shows up so much in these stories, it’s because the author is trying to convey to readers that someone is an RO and therefore should be focused on, but come on, is there really no better way of telling readers, “hey, maybe in another playthrough, you might think about going after this guy instead of that guy, whatcha think?” than to force their characters to believe something that they would have no good reason to believe? Were I not ace, I could confidently say that I’d be into women, but I’m capable of looking at my fellow man and thinking, “yeah, he’s got good looks” without it being tied to me thinking he’s sexy. And never in my life will I ever say that anybody “objectively” looks good, for crying out loud, my “objectivity” is another person’s “this guy’s talking out of his ass.”
Okay, I’m done being angy now.